“Yeah, that’s why I am your number one morgue dweller.” I laughed as I opened the door. I think she meant it. She was hard to read, but I felt the genuineness behind her words.
Walking back to my office, my head dropped with disappointment. What if this was the only reason Tim had left that message? I keep pushing him away, but it’s still nice to be sought after. I like to feel wanted, at least sometimes. The echoing of my footsteps tapping down the cement stairs to the basement put me into a trance. My eyes glossed over as I reached the door. Damn it, Val, suck it up. A deep breath filled my lungs before I exited the stairwell.
Fumbling in my pocket, I found my key. As it unlocked and turned in my hand, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Startled, I jumped a foot off the floor and looked around. No one. What in the hell? As I turned back around, I heard snickering. “You’re so easy, Val.”
“Jesus Christ, Tim, you scared the shit outta me. Be careful, next time I might shoot.”
“I’m not too scared…you don’t like guns. You think I don’t listen, but I’m not like other guys. I’m just having some fun.”
“Real funny. If you actually knew me, you’d know that I don’t like…” I caught myself before I continued.
“Don’t like what?” “Oh, never mind. Why are you here, anyway? I got your message, is it your policy to
follow up every unanswered phone call with an office visit?” Opening my door, I didn’t wait for his answer.
“Only for you.” His smile made me forget how obnoxious he was. “I just wanted to touch base, and I was in the area.”
“Tim, everything in Lawrenceville is in the area.” The past couple of years, it was easy to push him away, but he wouldn’t give up. His persistence was breaking me.
“Okay, you got me. Is it a crime to want to see you? And, we do have a case to talk about.”
“A case? I thought it was closed. That was yesterday’s headline in the Village News.”
“Well, that part is closed. I just worry about Jane. She is so upset; I thought your sweet nature would help her out.” He smirked as his eyes met mine.
I caught myself nibbling on my bottom lip as I stared back. “Was that a compliment?”
“An attempt at one anyway.”
“Jane came to the group yesterday, but she didn’t stick around to talk. I can call her if you think that would help, but I'd rather wait until next week to see how things go for her."
“You know what’s best, I trust your judgment.” The electricity between us was too intense to ignore. The sparkle in his eyes awoke parts of me I tried to put to rest long ago.
Too much time had passed and the silence became awkward as our gazes held each other. “I’ve been watching your show. It’s pretty good. It makes you think about—”
"My show?" He laughed. "Do tell me what my show is before you go on."
The heat from embarrassment stained my cheeks red. “Snapped. Didn’t you say I should watch it?” I wrapped a strand of my hair around my finger as I looked at him.
“Oh…that show.” He paused and his face went straight. “Should I be worried?” He raised one eyebrow.
“Maybe.” Scrunching my nose, my lips turned up. “Us ladies are nothing to mess with.”
“Don’t I know it! Such a complicated creature.”
“Anyway, I think I’m hooked. I watched a marathon the other night with Gabriel.”
“You’re watching my show with another man? I’m hurt.” His rugged hand went to his heart.
“Calm down, the only man I share my time with is my cat. I’m hurt you don’t remember that.”
“Oh, yes, that’s right, Gabriel. I might have remembered him if you ever let me meet him.”
“Maybe someday.”
“Whoa, someday is better than never.” He nodded his head and smirked.
Something was happening inside me. I longed for the connection of another person. It gets so hard, being lonely. How long would I be able to keep everyone from getting close? It used to be safer that way, but maybe Tim could keep me safe. A shiver went down my spine as I imagined the touch of his hands on my skin. Maybe he was one of the good ones. There was only one way to find out.
“How about tonight?” My boldness surprised even me. “I mean, if you're not busy and maybe it's not even on." The vulnerability of the moment took my breath away. Why did I just say that? What if I misread the whole thing?
Tim’s deep voice took me out of my negative filled head. "Tonight sounds great, even if it’s not on, I’m sure we can find something else to watch.”
I cleared my throat before I could speak. "Do you need directions to my place?"
“Don’t be silly, I’m a detective, I’ll just look you up.”
“You can do that?”
“No. Well, yes, but it’s a small town, I know where everyone lives. What apartment number?”
“Three. See you at 7:00?”
“I’ve been waiting forever for you to invite me over.” He winked as he stood up to walk to the door. “See you later, Val.”
"See ya." Nausea swept over me as I thought about what just happened. I couldn’t believe I wasn't strong enough to stand up to temptation, but it was time. I had been alone for too long. Maybe having Tim in my life would help with the anxiety and fear that keeps me locked up away from the world. He’d been trying so hard to reach me; it must mean something. There was still time to cancel. Still time to push him away. It's just all so confusing.
I wasn’t always this skittish. There was a time in my life where I had friends, even a boyfriend. But once you’ve been hurt the way I was, it was hard to trust people. The people I should have been able to trust the most were the ones who let me down. Not everyone is out to harm me. I couldn’t be that cursed. Could I?
Chapter Eight
“Gabriel, we’re going to have company tonight.” I hurried around my tiny apartment, tidying up the messes that take so little effort to accumulate.
“We’re slobs. Don’t you think you could help out while I’m at work?” I joked as I scurried around straightening piles and pushing things into drawers. The sink was full of dishes, but there was no time to wash them before Tim arrived. A quick glance around the kitchen, I gathered the dirty plates and silverware and shoved them into the stove.
“Don’t judge me, and don’t tell.” Picking him up off the floor, I pressed my nose against his cold, wet, black nose. The comfort from his purring calmed some of my nerves.
"I'm so nervous, Gabe. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to invite him over. He's just so irresistible, I guess. I'll deny that if you say anything." I took a deep breath as I lowered him to the floor. My eyes drifted to my messy bed. There was no way he was going in there tonight. I closed the door, but before it latched shut, I went in and pulled up the top sheet and comforter.
"Just want to make sure you have a place to hide, buddy." That was the story I was going with, at least. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to come out of this meeting. I didn’t dare call it a date, we were just two friends, with loads of sexual tension. It would be helpful if he wasn't so gorgeous and charismatic.