Another episode came on. "Looks like it's our lucky night." I placed Gabriel's sleeping body onto the sofa so I could go to the bathroom and get a cup of tea. Peppermint tea always reminded me of my grandma and helped settle my stomach when I forgot how awful Chinese made me feel. I ran the water, put the kettle on the back burner and went to the bathroom. I left the door open so I wouldn't miss anything. It was just Gabriel and I, so who cared if I shut it? When I did close it, he laid by the door, stuck his paws under and meowed, forcing me to talk to him while I'm trying to be civilized. Thank goodness we never have company.
After washing my hands, I put the tea bag into my favorite blue ceramic mug and poured the hot water over it. When the scalding water hit the teabag, the scent of peppermint tickled my nose. The heat of the cup in my hands warmed my frigid fingers. Cold hands, warm heart, they say…but I don't remember the last time I felt warmth in my heart.
I took the fleece throw off the back of the couch, covered up with it and placed Gabriel back on my chest as I waited for the tea to cool enough to drink. Lost in the show, I forgot about my tea until Gabriel woke up, stretched and jumped off me. These shows helped me get into the mind of killers. Murderers are normal people until they snap. These shows reiterated my point that you never know who someone is. They are never who they seem. That has been my experience anyway.
It was already eleven when another show came on. I didn't want to miss what might happen, but I also needed to get up for work tomorrow. Most likely, sleep will elude me, like all other nights, but I had to at least try. I made my nightly rounds to make sure the front door and all of the windows were locked, turned on the flashlight on my nightstand to make sure it worked, brushed my teeth, and opened up my nightstand to make sure my can of pepper spray was still in there.
Tim offered to teach me how to use a gun when he found out about my pepper spray. I told him I didn't dare. If I was worried, I would hurt myself or someone else, I wasn't sure. It just seemed like too much power for me. I wanted to be able to protect myself but didn't want to kill anyone. Being able to take care of myself is important to me; there was no one else out there to do it. Gabriel might try, but what could he really do? It's my job to take care of us.
Once in bed, I pulled the lavender cotton sheet and white down comforter up over my shoulders and tucked them under my chin as I shimmied my body into a comfortable position. Gabriel rested above my head as I turned off my lamp. The four women from the group were on my mind. I wanted to know their stories. Why had they come to the group? Maggie said her therapist suggested she come, but what about Sonya? Or Norma? What could have possibly happened to them to make them think it was a good idea to sit with strangers to discuss things that had hurt them? That was not something I would have done. But here I am, forced to run a group I wouldn’t even attend.
“Gabe, I didn’t tell you what Jeanine did today,” I grunted my disgust. “She had the nerve to interrupt my group to bring Jane in. She didn’t even tell me she was coming, or that I should expect her. She didn’t even stay for the group.” A heavy sigh filled the room. “Guess that’s why she’s the boss and I’m not. I’d never make anyone do half the stuff she makes me do.
“But you were right, the group wasn’t that bad…well…actually, it was pretty awful, but there were only four people, all ladies, so it could have been a lot worse. Can you imagine what it would have been like if some jackass showed up?" A laugh escaped. "Well, one did." I looked over at Gabriel, the moonlight glowed on his face just enough to make out his silhouette. "Tim stopped by before the group to ask me to call Jane." I paused before continuing. "Yeah, I know, Jane is everywhere today. I can't shake that lady. If it's not her, it's Carmen."
I rolled over to try to block out the light coming in from the window. “Must be a full moon out there. Good night, buddy.” I closed my eyes and tried to push out all the thoughts. I might need to ask one of the doctors for something to help me sleep if this continues. I don’t even remember how long it had been since I was able to get a solid night’s sleep. Maybe, twenty years.
Chapter Seven
The light flashed red on my phone; it was the first thing I noticed when I put my tote bag down. After the group yesterday, I hadn't even checked my messages. I put my coffee down, got a pen, picked up the receiver, and dialed the passcode. Three messages. A hangup, Jeanine, and Tim. Jeanine demanded I go see her as soon as I get in, and Tim just invited me to coffee. Either he wants to talk shop, or he wants to try to convince me to go on a date with him. I’d love to pick his brain and let him know I found a new favorite show.
As I powered up my computer, the phone rang. I just needed to check my email, but if I don't answer another message. . . A vicious cycle; some call it work. Looking over at the caller ID display, I saw that it was Jeanine. Rolling my eyes, I picked up the phone. "I was just on my way up there."
“Well, I am impressed you used the phone’s features. But unimpressed that you’re late… again.”
“The traffic was a killer.”
"Really, Val? What? A herd of cows escape?"
“No, not this morning. A family of opossums was crossing the road. I tried to catch one, you know, for granny’s stew, but they were just too gawd darn fast fur me.”
“Funny this morning, aren’t we? I just have a couple of things to run by you. Get settled in, wash the damn opossum off your hands, and come on up.”
Surprised at how well Jeanine reacted to my joke, I didn’t take my usual time to get up to her office. It’s always better to get things over with, worrying about them takes so much of my time. I couldn’t think of anything she might be upset with me about, maybe she found someone else to run the group. At Jeanine’s door, the smell of tangerine drifted through the entrance. I wondered what she was trying to cure today. “Hey.”
"Oh, hi, Val, that was fast." Her eyes went to her wrist. "Come on in, have a seat, shut the door behind you."
“Uh oh…this doesn’t sound good. Don’t fire me…my cat will starve.”
“Oh, stop it, Val, why would I fire my star employee?”
I raised my right eyebrow at her. “Cut the crap Jeanine, what’s up?”
“Tim has asked me to have you spend some time with Jane. He thinks you would be able to help her through her grief.”
“Since when does Tim get to decide what my job is? We already talked. I told him I’d call her, but she came to the group… you know, the one you abandoned. You didn’t even stick around for a piece of cheese.”
“Well, I just think if Tim’s asking, there must be a good reason, so we should just follow his command.”
“His command. What is this, the 1940s? I’ll give Jane a call, because you asked me to, not because Tim told you to ask me.”
"Jesus, Val, I don't care why you call her, just do it." Her sense of humor had drifted away with the scent of tangerine. As I stood up to head back down to my office, she continued. "Thank you for stepping outside your comfort zone with that group. It looked like you did a great job."