I placed the flowery box of tissues on top of one of the cloth-covered blue chairs. I took a step back to see how it looked. I still wasn’t satisfied with the setup, but it would have to do. I put the snacks out on some paper plates, took a couple of Hersey kisses with me, and went back to my office to wait for the group to start. I had plenty of work to do.
The red light on my phone flashed, alerting me there was a message waiting. I used the phone a lot in my job, but I dreaded the unknown. A red light could mean more work for me, leaving me even further behind. I knew one thing; it would never be a personal call. Gabriel hadn’t yet mastered how to pick up the phone.
I dialed my passcode into the phone and waited for the message to play. It was Jane. She did not leave any details, only her name and phone number. What could she possibly want? We hadn’t talked since the day Carmen died. The urge to vomit came over me as I hung up the phone. This is not what I had planned today. Of all days. I needed today to be low-key, stress-free.
I am not sure why I was getting myself so worked up. I didn’t even know what she wanted. Maybe it was as simple as getting Carmen’s death certificate. As the thoughts of what it could be filled my head, I calmed down a bit. Deciding if I should call her before or after the group was what was weighing on me now. I wanted to know what she wanted, but I didn’t want to get into something deep. I wanted to be my best self before the group. I wasn’t sure which would help me achieve that.
I picked up the black phone and started to dial the number Jane left in the message. Before I hit the last number, there was a knock at my door. Startled by the noise, I slammed down the phone. My heart pounded in my throat. “Who is it?”
The knock came again, this time louder. “Val, just open the damn door.”
I recognized the voice behind my door. I wasn’t sure I wanted to answer it, but it was too late, I already asked who it was. There was no way out of it now. I wish I had a peephole, so I could decide if I wanted to deal with the person on the other side of the door or not. There was enough technology in this world to make that happen. Maybe that is the next thing I ask Jeanine for. As I made my way to the door, I took a deep breath and exhaled before I opened it. My hand on the knob, I pushed my hair out of my face with the other hand and pulled my black sweater down.
“Jesus, Val, I thought you died in here.” His laugh was more abrasive than he was.
“Ha-ha, you’re hysterical Tim.”
“That’s Detective Tim to you.” His hands were in his front pants pockets as he stood looking at me.
“Really? You think you deserve that kind of respect from me?” A nervous chuckle escaped from my pursed lips.
“Well, are you going to invite me in or not?”
“Or not. That sounds like the option I want.” I smiled as I opened the door wider to let him in.
"It reeks in here, Val. Are you keeping your work in here now? Bypassing the morgue?"
"You really are gruesome. And rude." My stomach began to ache as he found a place to sit. I didn't notice an odor in here. I don't know why everyone else was complaining. I guess it might be time to clean the office.
“I’m just teasing Val, you know that. Just relax.” He sat in the chair in front of my desk, his hands folded behind his head as he leaned back and crossed his legs. His caramel eyes twinkled as I looked at him. He was wearing a suit so I knew he was on duty. He was one of the detectives that came to the hospital when there were questions about an untimely death.
A homicide detective and a deceased patient coordinator; what a love story that could be. We were meant for each other, except we weren’t. We had gone out for coffee a few times. When we talked shop, we got along great. Heckling each other with quick-witted remarks. When we took it a step further, it seemed we had nothing in common. He wanted more from me than I was willing to give away and he didn’t want to work for it.
"What brings you down here? There aren't any open cases that I am aware of." I sat at my desk; my arms crossed as I waited for his response. I licked my lips as I focused on his dimples.
He smirked, “Does there need to be an open case to come say hello?”
"Yes. We agreed, strictly business." I uncrossed my arms and pulled my cardigan closed tight.
"Calm down, Val. Don't get all worked up. Rest assured, I'm here on business. And maybe a little pleasure?" He tilted his head back as his laugh rumbled through my office.
I pushed the smile off my face. “What’s the business?”
“Do you remember the family who was here a few days ago? The one with the girl who killed herself?”
“Carmen?” Memories of the beautiful blonde girl in her bed flashed in my mind.
“Yeah, that’s the one. We just finished up the investigation, and when I talked with her mom, she had a lot of… what’s the word I’m looking for… emotion?”
“Well, that makes sense. Her daughter is dead. Did you see her? The girl? The blood? The sweet face? That’s something I won’t soon forget.”
“I saw the pictures.” He paused, closed his eyes, and shook his head from side to side as though he was trying to shake the image out of his head. “Her mom needs someone to talk to… to process it all.”
“I have a list of therapists I can mail her.”
"Well, she said she doesn't have insurance and no money."
“Tim… I don’t like where this is headed. You know I don’t do that sort of thing. It’s out of my scope of practice…”
“Really, Miss trauma support group leader?”
“How do you even know about that?” Thoughts raced through my head. If Tim knew about this group, who else knew? How many people were going to show up? My throat went dry as I tried to swallow.
“Val, it’s in the paper, on fliers around the hospital, at the domestic violence shelter… word is out. I didn’t know it was a secret.”
"In the paper? Really? Jeanine didn't tell me she advertised it so well." I stood up from my desk, straightened my cardigan and looked at my watch. "Speaking of the group, it starts in fifteen minutes, I've got to go."
“Okay, okay, I can tell when I’m not wanted.” He stood up and put his large hand on my shoulder. Instinctively, I leaned into the warmth of his skin. As I realized what I was doing, I pulled myself out from under his grip. “Just give the mom a call. For me?”
I took a step toward the door and a smile spread across my face. The scent of his Old Spice hit my nose and brought me back to one of our coffee dates. “She already left me a message. I’ll call her after the group.”
"Thanks, Val. It was nice to see you, even if I have to come down here, to the tunnel of death to do it.”
“It was nice to see you, too, Tim.” I shut the door behind us and locked it. “Taking the stairs?”
“No, I don’t trust myself alone with you.” He smiled as he walked to the elevator.
Chapter Five
A lady pacing the hall in front of the conference room met me when I arrived. Her salt and pepper hair was cut short and sticking up in all directions. Her long blue dress sat just above her white high-top sneakers and she clutched her brown leather purse. "Is this the trauma support group?" Her hazel eyes darted away from mine as soon as she made eye contact.