Part I
1
Life wasn’t meant to be easy. This was the realization that Vanessa Sawyer had come to. Nothing in her life had turned out the way she had planned, except motherhood, and even then, it had not been an easy road. But she loved her kids, Wren and Ty. They had saved her; they were the reason she woke up in the morning.
She’d married young, just gone eighteen. Mark, her husband, had been in her year at high school and had been dating her best friend Maggie for months. He was nice, charming, popular, and she’d had a crush on him for a while. Looking back, Vanessa could now admit that it was him who had put this whole thing in motion, but she had allowed it by letting herself be swayed by his advances. And she had paid for it.
The high-school dance. An evening of supposedly innocent fun, that ended up staying with Vanessa forever. Maggie left the dance early, saying she didn’t feel well. Mark called her parents to ask them to come and get her. Tucking her into the back seat of the car, he kissed her cheek like a good boyfriend. A truly good boyfriend would have driven her home himself, but he didn’t want to. That much was obvious. Perhaps Vanessa’s entire relationship with Mark would never have happened had he driven Maggie home, but then she would never have fallen pregnant with Wren, her beautiful boy. When Mark strolled back into the hall, his eyes caught hers. He reached for her upper arm and held it firmly. She felt the electricity between them, the thrill of the unexpected and forbidden. He rubbed his thumb along her skin in a way that was entirely too familiar. She tried to pull away.
‘Come with me,’ he said, just loud enough so only she could hear him. Vanessa saw the heat, the desire in his eyes as he led her out into the cool evening air. Outside, the thumping music was muted, and fractured clouds streamed across the moon, casting dappled light onto their clandestine meeting.
Mark pushed a tendril of hair from Vanessa’s face and tucked it behind her ear. Again, she felt the magnetism of his illicit touch. His fingers trailed lightly down her cheek, coming to rest on her shoulder. His other hand slid protectively around her waist as he pulled her close, like a real lover, swaying her gently, slow dancing with her under the privacy of the evening sky. At that moment, she felt like she was the only girl in the world. Nothing bad could ever happen to her. She was pretty, popular, and worthy of being in Mark’s arms. Her body begged for his touch, craved it. She wanted to taste him, run her hands over his body, claim what wasn’t hers to claim. She knew it was wrong, but she could no more leave the comfort of his arms than the sun could stop its ascent into the breaking morning sky. It was only the two of them, locked in an embrace that threatened to tear their worlds apart. Vanessa molded her body to his. Her heart raced as his hand moved lower, curving over her hip. The universe didn’t exist outside of their bubble; a bubble she wasn’t going to break.
Small towns had their secrets, and this was just one more to be kept, guarded by some unseen force. Vanessa should have known that nothing ever stayed truly hidden, buried, but in that heady moment, held tenderly in Mark’s arms, she couldn’t care less. Let the world do its worst. She knew from Maggie’s whispered confessions under the cover of darkness that she and Mark had never done it. Maggie had stated firmly that she’d never ‘fuck’ until she was married. Her parents were religious whereas Vanessa’s parents trusted her to make good choices, and swaying in Mark’s arms as he nuzzled her neck, this felt like a good but dangerous one. Her heart was cleaved down the middle. Which should she choose – loyalty or lust?
‘You want this as much as I do, Ness,’ he whispered into her ear, sending shivers along her spine. Of course she wanted it.
‘What about Maggie?’ she countered, pulling back and looking at him, their lustful gazes locked together.
‘I haven’t been happy in ages; I just didn’t know how to tell her. I’m ready to dump her, but it would be better if I had someone else to be with, to go to. It would make it easier. Are you gonna be that girl, Ness?’ He brushed her lips with his, just a whisper of a touch, but it was enough. She groaned a little, her defenses crumbling.
‘Yes,’ she whispered.
‘You’ll be mine?’
‘Yes.’
The night breeze picked up, causing goose bumps to cover Vanessa’s arms. Mark suggested that they get into the back of his van and warm up. ‘We could… talk some more.’
She nodded and followed him inside. There was an old, narrow pine bench seat bolted to the floor, and a mattress covered in a sheet taking up the rest of the back of the van.
‘That seat is a bit hard,’ Mark said. He dropped onto the mattress. ‘This is much more comfortable. Why don’t you come and sit by me?’
He made no attempt to hide the lust on his face; it showed in the way he smiled and how his gaze hovered over her figure before locking with her eyes.
Suddenly a pang of guilt tore through Vanessa.
‘I should go.’
Mark saw the indecision on her face. ‘I need you. Don’t go.’ His voice had a vulnerable note to it, and she turned back, staring at him. She could still hear the music, just, and closed her eyes for a moment. She opened them again when she heard soft music coming from inside the van. The song’s lyrics spoke of everlasting love and how you, too, could have it. Love everlasting. She swayed with the gentle beat, eyes closed, tucking her legs under as she joined Mark on the mattress.
She opened her eyes when she felt Mark’s lips on hers again, insistent this time. Her first real kiss. His tongue explored her mouth, and she gasped. She didn’t know that her body would respond this way. Mistaking her shock for pleasure, he pulled her closer, kissing her even deeper. One warm hand slid onto her slightly cool knee, traveling slowly up to her thigh where his fingertip drew lazy circles.
Vanessa pulled back when his finger hooked under her underwear. ‘I’ve never felt like this before, Ness.’ She loved hearing her nickname fall from his lips. It rolled off his tongue with such ease and possession. Any lingering doubts disappeared like snow on a warm winter’s morning. ‘There’ve been others, but they meant nothing to me.’
He kissed the nape of her neck and God help her if it didn’t feel like a little piece of heaven. She tilted her head to the side and let out a small giggle. Mark ran his hand down her long and loose hair, pulling on it affectionately. He turned her gently and laid her down on the mattress. She smiled up at him, and he stared back at her with desire in his eyes.
This was really going to happen.
He removed her underwear, then he spread her legs gently and moved in between them. She could feel how hard he was, and she felt light-headed with desire. She had done that to him. Her body. He settled his weight on her, and she let out a small sigh. She realized that her reservations about loyalty and friendship were almost gone. She was here, with him; it was meant to be.
He used one hand to pull down his pants and boxers. She saw him, really saw him, and had a moment of pure terror before he crushed his lips over hers, tongue battling hers in a fierce dance of desire. She felt him guide his cock inside her. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but the small, sharp pain was over within a moment or two. She began to buck her hips up to meet his thrusts. She’d never done this before, but instinctively she knew what to do. Some primal need in her made her cry out and claw at his back as he drove himself into her. When he leaned in close, she could smell the lingering scent of his aftershave. He thrust harder and faster, Vanessa meeting him each time, their flesh joining together before being drawn apart. She was keenly aware of each moment he was apart from her. She felt the tension building within Mark, within her, something she’d never felt before. He moved in and out of her as rolling waves of passion pushed all thoughts from her mind, breaking down the walls to her heart. She came. Hard. She bit down on his shoulder as he quickly came too.