‘Yeah,’ he muttered as he closed the door behind him. He didn’t sound convinced. Vanessa would have to work extra hard to show him that she and the baby were good for him. Worth loving. She curved her hand around her stomach. She loved this baby fiercely already and would do anything for him or her. Now that it was out in the open and she didn’t have to hide, she allowed herself to feel joy at the thought of this tiny human growing inside her. But Vanessa was still in two minds. Part of her was elated that she was marrying Mark, whereas the other part was keenly aware that he was in love with another woman. She’d make him forget about Maggie, and he would love her and only her. Once he saw their child and how wonderful a mom she would be, he’d fall in love with her. She was sure of it.
2
Vanessa hadn’t wanted to go to school. By now everyone would know what she and Mark had done to the popular Maggie. They would know that Vanessa was pregnant and call her a slut, but her mom had forced her to get out of bed, brush her teeth and get ready for school.
‘You’ll have to face it sometime, might as well be today,’ her mom said. Steel ran through her mom’s body, she was sure of it. Vanessa would have to borrow from her strength to get through the next couple of months.
She walked to her locker and saw the word whore spray-painted across it. Well, that answered the question of whether Maggie had shared the news. She looked over toward Mark’s locker. Unmarred. That’d be fucking right.
People were staring. She felt their eyes, their judgment, hang heavy like it was a weight around her neck. She heard footsteps stop behind her. She prayed it wasn’t Maggie. She turned and came face to face with Felicity. A friend, a close one of hers and Maggie’s. They’d been friends since elementary school.
‘Well, if it isn’t the boyfriend-stealing little slut.’ Clearly now a former friend.
Vanessa took a stance. ‘I’m not talking about this with you, Felicity.’
‘Everyone knows what you did, you know. You’re that girl now. The kind of girl that steals her best friend’s boyfriend and then gets pregnant. That’s you, Vanessa. Good luck on making friends now, whore.’ Felicity banged into Vanessa’s shoulder forcefully as she walked past, knocking her into her locker. Vanessa breathed deeply. This was going to be a long day.
Vanessa and Mark were married straight after graduating high school. Vanessa was pretty close to having her baby and although she was excited about motherhood, Mark’s refusal to even look at her during their vows unnerved her. Only their parents were there to bear witness to their marriage. No friends cheered them on from the bench seats, there was no party afterwards. Nothing. Just a marriage covering up a dirty mistake – that’s what they all thought anyway. But not Vanessa. This baby was a gift and would be her hope, her future, her salvation.
They moved into a run-down little house that her parents put down the deposit and first month’s rent for as a wedding present. For the first time in her life, Vanessa fell asleep under a roof that was her very own.
While Mark no longer sought Maggie out, Vanessa knew that he still loved her. She felt Maggie’s absence from her life keenly, alone and about to have a baby, married to a man whose heart belonged to another. Vanessa and Mark may have slept in the same bed, but he hadn’t touched her since that first time. One night during the early hours of the morning, she woke to the bed jerking slightly, the small bedside lamp was switched on, illuminating the room. Mark sat on the edge of the bed. She carefully looked over his shoulder and saw that he was masturbating while holding a Polaroid photo of Maggie, completely naked. Shocked and disgusted, she lay back down and rolled over to face the wall. The bed still moved beneath her. She didn’t say a word. Not then anyway.
Vanessa was cold to him over the next few days after the incident. He was married, and, for better or worse, she was his wife now. He wasn’t allowed to jack off to his ex-girlfriend’s picture. So she took the picture from his underwear draw and cut it into tiny pieces, watching Maggie disappear, piece by jagged piece.
He came storming into the kitchen later that night while she was making dinner. ‘Where is it?’ he demanded, red cheeks hinting at the extent of his rage.
Vanessa turned, her bulging stomach making her slow and awkward. ‘Where’s what?’ she asked, eyes narrowing in anger.
‘Don’t play dumb, Vanessa. The photo. The photo of Maggie.’
‘You mean the photo you jack off to? I cut it up and flushed it down the toilet. Guess you’re going to have to use your imagination from now on, or shock horror, think about your wife instead.’
His eyes narrowed, and in hindsight she should have stopped there. ‘Why do you even have that? You cheated on her. You threw her away. Why act all lovesick now that it’s too late?’
He snarled. ‘Maybe because I’m married to a fucking bitch.’
She was shocked. He’d never spoken to her like that before.
Two weeks after they moved into their house Mark got a job at a bar and began staying out later and later, sometimes not even bothering to call to let her know that he was safe or when he was coming home. Vanessa had her suspicions but no proof as to what he was really up to. She was about ready to drop the baby, her stomach taunt and uncomfortable, the skin stretched tighter than a drum. She was in a large grocery store in the next town over one day when she heard the rumble of a low voice and the shrill, high-pitched giggle that she’d know anywhere.
Maggie.
Vanessa took in a deep breath. It was bound to happen sooner or later, living where they did. She leaned closer to the shelving, resisting the urge to look through the cereal boxes. Then she heard them kiss and felt physically ill. She had to look. She had to know if it was Mark as she suspected it was. Maybe Maggie had finally moved on with another man, but she knew Mark still loved Maggie and her swollen belly was proof that he could be persuasive when he wanted to be. She moved some cereal out of the way and tried to look through to the aisle, but the boxes on the other side obstructed her view. Holding onto her stomach, she moved to the end of the aisle, intent on catching Maggie and Mark in the act. She had her words all ready. But when she rounded the corner words failed her. The women locked eyes, and Maggie smiled a slow and seductive smile. She slid her hand into his hair, drawing him close for another steamy kiss, all the while staring at Vanessa. She felt like crying, screaming at her to get off him. He was firmly in her grasp, under her spell. Maggie then pulled away from her lover to face Vanessa head-on.
‘Oh, hey, Ness.’
The man turned around too. It wasn’t Mark at all. It was Vanessa’s dad.
‘Ness!’ He gasped, shocked to see his daughter standing in front of him. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘What am I doing here? What the hell are you doing?’
He had no answer for her. She pushed past him, holding her stomach as she tried to stride out of the store as quickly as she could. As she waddled to her car, Maggie followed her, screaming.
‘How does it feel to be the one cheated on? Huh?’ she yelled. ‘To have your heart broken?’
Vanessa unlocked the car and pushed her bulk behind the wheel, desperate to get out of there.