No longer a virgin, was her first thought, as the realization of what they’d just done dawned on her. Was she good? With a groan, Mark rolled off her, making the breath leave her body where his weight had flattened her into the mattress. She was a woman now, but what the hell was she going to say to Maggie? She struggled to sit up. Mark was pulling his pants back up, fastening them at his waist. She searched for her underwear, quickly pulling them over her legs.
‘Will you tell her?’ Vanessa asked Mark.
His eyes caught the moonlight, glinting until he turned away from her. ‘Sure, baby. Tomorrow.’
Vanessa was buoyed by the thought. She would lose a friend, a best friend, because of her actions, but she would gain Mark.
Mark hadn’t told Maggie the next day as he’d promised he would. She saw them as they kissed in the hallways, Mark tenderly touching Maggie’s face the way he’d touched hers the night before. He refused to look at Vanessa. Ignored her. Acted like she didn’t even exist. Maggie, in her love bubble, didn’t notice the shift in dynamics between the two of them nor the looks of pain on her best friend’s face. Vanessa had given up her virginity in the back of a van to a boy that had lied to her. He had never planned to dump Maggie; he’d just wanted to get laid. To fuck. It made her sick to her stomach to think of how easily she had been manipulated.
Soon enough, Vanessa stopped hanging around Maggie altogether. It was too hard to be near the lying sack of shit that was her boyfriend. Mark’s cheating weighed heavily on Vanessa’s mind and with each passing day, she felt the urge to confess to Maggie. To unburden herself. Yet, despite the way he had lied to her, Vanessa was still a little in love with Mark, and she hated herself for it. He was her first and she would never forget him. When they went their separate ways after graduation, he’d become just one of the many memories, but in the darkest part of the night, she would admit that he was still worth the agony.
Vanessa only realized that she had missed a few periods during class six months later. Fun fact: learning that you’re pregnant during health class is horrific. Her face flushed a deep shade of red, then turned deathly pale as the reality of her situation overwhelmed her. Her stomach churned as she looked at the diagram projected onto the screen. How could she not have known what was going on? Fuck!
She groaned and the guy sitting next to her shot his hand into the air. ‘Mr Goode? I think Vanessa’s about to throw up.’ He moved away from her, leaning to the side, just in case.
She didn’t throw up; she hadn’t, she must have skipped that stage. This explained so much. The tender breasts, the weight gain, turning her slim frame into a curvy one. Vanessa had just thought she was putting on a bit of weight. It hadn’t even occurred to her that she might be pregnant.
She was having Mark’s baby. What the fuck was she going to do now?
Well, she couldn’t put it off any longer. She was starting to show and wearing a thick jumper over her school dress wasn’t going to cut it anymore. She had to tell him, now, before someone else did. She’d have to tell—no, she couldn’t think of that right now. She didn’t even want to think about that conversation.
Vanessa waited until the bell clanged, echoing down the hallway, until most of the people had cleared, until Maggie had gone. Vanessa walked up to him nervously, biting on her bottom lip, brushing loose hair from her face impatiently.
‘Mark,’ she said, urgency coloring her voice.
‘Vanessa,’ he said sharply. Gone was ‘Ness’. He looked around to make sure that no one was watching them speak. It cut her deeply, the lengths he would go to hurt her. She was his dirty little secret. Well not for much longer. Maggie had finally noticed that her best friend wasn’t around as much and blamed herself for letting their friendship slide because she was with Mark. Vanessa, holding back tears, had told her that wasn’t it at all, she was just busy getting ready for final exams.
A baby. How weird it was to even think those words let alone say them out loud to him, yet here she was, about to say them to someone else for the first time.
‘I have something to tell you,’ Vanessa began.
‘What? You want another go? I’m with Maggie.’
‘Didn’t stop you last time.’ The retort left her lips before her brain engaged. His murderous look at being challenged made her step back and put some distance between them. It was now or never. ‘I’m pregnant,’ she blurted out, snapping her mouth shut after the offending words were in the open.
‘It’s not mine,’ he said immediately.
She had expected him to deny it and he hadn’t disappointed. Coward.
‘Well, I was a virgin before I slept with you and I haven’t been with anyone else since. Kinda got scared off men. It’s yours, Mark. Congratulations, Daddy.’ She shouldn’t have baited him, but he deserved it.
He slammed his hand into his locker. ‘What the fuck, Ness? How could you let this happen?’ he demanded, blowing out a frustrated breath.
‘How could I let this happen? You seduced me. Told me lies to get me to sleep with you. Don’t you dare blame me.’
Anger flared in his eyes. ‘Fuck!’ he hissed, running a hand through his hand, pulling hard while he sized up the situation.
‘I’m keeping it. The baby, I mean. I’ll be graduating soon, and so will you,’ she pointed out. ‘You need to do the right thing. First, you need to tell Maggie, then your parents. Today.’
His face was a mask of anger, something she had never seen before and hadn’t thought him capable of. He’d always seemed nice and sweet, if a little cocky.
‘Shit no. I’ll lose her.’
‘You’ve already lost her. As soon as she finds out, we’ve both lost her.’ Vanessa wiped a hand over her tired eyes. She wasn’t getting much sleep these days. ‘It’s a matter of when, not if, and it’s better coming from both of us. Safety in numbers and all that.’ She gave a small smile, but it felt wrong. Once Maggie found out, it would be like a bullet that couldn’t be unfired.
‘OK.’
‘OK, we’ll tell her together?’ She persisted.
‘Yes, goddammit.’
‘Tonight. Pick me up at six.’ Vanessa walked away without giving him a chance to respond. She heard him smash his fist into the locker again and she wondered what she was getting herself into. Too late now.
Vanessa watched the second hand make yet another rotation, clicking loudly in the still, quiet room. She wasn’t eager to do this, but it had to be done all the same. Finally, the hands dragged themselves round to six o’clock. She heard a loud rumble outside and pulled the curtain aside. There was his van, and after a few moments it was evident he wasn’t coming to the door to get her.
He revved the engine to get her attention and, as she walked toward his van, she wondered how she had ever thought it was romantic. The three of them had spent a lot of time in that van, going camping, road tripping for the day. It held memories, memories that were going to be overshadowed by worse ones in a few minutes. Poor Maggie. Vanessa felt her stomach constrict, and she wondered if she was going to throw up. Her life, Mark’s life and Maggie’s life were all going to be irrevocably changed.