‘We fucked you know!’ Maggie added gleefully.
Vanessa sped out of the car park, seeing her dad in the rear-view mirror walk over to Maggie. He appeared to be trying to talk to her, but she walked off.
How could he? What was wrong with him? He’d known Maggie since they were in elementary school. What about her mom? How the hell was she going to tell her what she knew? Should she tell her?
Vanessa managed to make it home in one piece but once inside the comfort of her own home, she let her emotions flood out. Tears on her cheeks, she wailed, the baby moving within her, responding to her distress. Finally, she stopped crying and was blowing her nose just as Mark came charging into the kitchen where she stood by the sink. He was always angry these days. There was little room for compassion and understanding from him. It was like he forgot that she was heavily pregnant with his baby and might need his support.
‘What are you crying about?’ he demanded, evidently uninterested in her answer. He watched as she dabbed at her eyes before throwing away the soggy tissue.
‘Maggie is sleeping with my dad,’ she said tearfully, without thinking.
‘What did you say?’ His voice was low and dangerous and made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up in fear. He glared at her and when she didn’t answer quickly enough, he screamed. ‘Speak!’
‘I saw them at the grocery store, kissing, then she told me what they’d done. It’s revenge. I slept with you so she’s getting back at me.’ She burst into tears again, reaching for another tissue.
Vanessa had her hand around the tissue just as Mark raised his hand and slapped her, throwing her into the table. The tissue fluttered to the floor. She fell along the table awkwardly until she was able to get a proper grip and stand upright.
‘You stupid fucking bitch! This is all your fault!’ He drew back his arm and punched her in the face, mashing her lip into her teeth. She tasted blood.
‘Don’t,’ she rasped as he wrapped his hands around her throat, cutting off her air supply. Her face began to tingle unpleasantly.
She suddenly felt wetness blooming inside her pants, running down her legs. ‘Baby,’ she croaked. ‘Now.’
Mark looked down at the blossoming stain on her pants and said, ‘Fuck me, can’t you do anything right?’ He dropped her in disgust and she grabbed at her throat, massaging away the pain. ‘Well, hurry the fuck up then.’
Vanessa grabbed her overnight bag and followed him to the van, scared of what was to come. A contraction ripped through her body, and she bent over, gasping. She looked up and could see Mark glaring at her from the driver’s seat. He looked furious. All she wanted was her mom.
After six intensive hours in which she’d begged God to let it all be over, Vanessa’s mom arrived at the hospital, just in time to see the birth of her first grandchild. Mark had finally given in and called her. He hadn’t held Vanessa’s hand or come near her while she sweated and grunted to bring their child into the world. Her mom had glared at him when she bustled in, the nurses giving the surly young man a wide berth.
‘Mom, it’s a boy,’ Vanessa whispered, looking down at his tiny screwed-up face. ‘A boy,’ she breathed, leaning down to plant a feather-light kiss on his forehead. Vanessa looked up at Mark, who barely even glanced at his son or at his wife.
‘I’m calling you Wren,’ she whispered to the baby.
‘What a bloody pussy name,’ Mark commented loudly, making the little one stir.
Everyone in the room gave him a look of disbelief. Why would he choose this moment of all moments to ruin? Vanessa could see her mom gearing up to say something, so she placed a calming hand on her arm. ‘Not now,’ she muttered.
‘Mark, a wren is a songbird with the most beautiful call. His name is Wren,’ Vanessa said, claiming something as her own. She refused to look at him.
‘I think it’s lovely, honey.’ Her mother smiled.
‘Thanks, Mom.’ She handed over her precious bundle to her mom, knowing that Mark would not want to hold him. Nothing would ever change with him; he would always blame her, hate her. She only hoped that his attitude wouldn’t extend to his son. She didn’t allow herself to think of the slap, the punch, the choking. It wouldn’t do her any good.
Life fell into a predictable rhythm. Mark continued to spend late nights at the bar where he worked, and from the smell of him, had a few drinks himself. He stayed out late and while she worried, she tried not to care. Wren took up all of her time, caring for him, loving him and above all else, ensuring his safety. She needed to protect him from his disinterested and still violent father. Mark slapped her for any perceived infractions, and she was still sure that he was having an affair, maybe not with Maggie but with someone.
One night, three weeks after she had caught her dad with Maggie, she had just put Wren down for a nap after a feed when there was a knock at the door. She glanced at the hall clock. It was after nine in the evening.
‘C’mon, Ness. Let me in, I want to explain.’ It was her father. He was drunk, standing on her doorstep, yelling at her through the window to let him in. She opened the wooden front door but left the screen door bolted.
‘I don’t want anything to do with you, Dad. Leave me alone.’
He tried to open the door until he realized that it was locked. ‘She came on to me!’
‘Like that makes it OK. You’ve known her since she was five, what the hell is wrong with you? What about Mom? Have you told her yet?’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘You’re apologizing to the wrong person.’ She hardened her heart against him. Two liars in her life was two more liars that she could handle.
‘I can’t tell her, she’ll leave me,’ he wailed.
‘Well, you should have thought about that before you fucked Maggie, shouldn’t you? I won’t forgive you until you tell Mom. Did you know she did it for revenge? Or are you so deluded that you thought she actually liked you?’
He shook his head.
‘Get out of here, Dad, I don’t want to see you again. I have enough shit without adding yours to the pile.’ Vanessa closed the door on him. He called her name a couple of times but she stayed strong. When it went quiet, she peered through the side window, watching as he sloped off to his house three streets away.
Mark would be home soon. She needed to clean her face. She’d been crying again. Wren was a wonderful baby and so easy to care for, but she was exhausted and cried all the time when Mark wasn’t around.
Who knew what kind of mood Mark would be in when he came home? She could usually tell by the way he pulled up and walked into the house. Sometimes he was cordial to her, treating her like a stranger that he had to be polite to, and other days, he was into her the moment he walked through the door. They lived in a small, two-bedroom home with a huge backyard. Vanessa loved taking Wren into the backyard to feel the sun on his face, drooling on her while she read a book, or tried to. These treasured moments with Wren were all that kept her sane. She had no friends, save her mom, and keenly missed having a chat to someone without having to watch and evaluate every word that came out of her mouth. In those first few months of motherhood, she grew up fast. She matured beyond her years. Her mom visited her every couple of days bringing nappies, formula and food for the pantry. While Mark had a good-paying full-time job, he often drank away the extra money, leaving them short on bills. Her mom helped, occasionally slipping money into her bag. Vanessa would cry when she found it, but she couldn’t afford to return it. Would they ever get out from under their mediocre lives?