‘Sounds serious. You OK, honey?’ her dad asked, leaning forward in his chair. Where his wife was small and slim, he was a tall and bulky man, physically impressive. Vanessa had always likened him to a tree; strong, roots that ran deep; her mother, the water that nourished him.
She cleared her throat. Once she said the words out loud, there was no going back. ‘I… uh… I’m pregnant.’ She stammered over the words, seeing the shocked expressions on her parents’ faces. Identical.
Her mom placed her knife and fork neatly down on the place. ‘What?’ she asked, a slightly confused look settled on her features.
She looked toward her dad. ‘I’m having a baby.’ She tried again.
Her mom opened her mouth to speak, but her dad cut in quickly. ‘Whose baby is it?’ he asked. He didn’t demand; actually, he, they, were taking it pretty well so far.
This was the question she had dreaded. Whose baby was it? She sighed, a sound that was pulled out from deep within her. ‘It’s Mark’s.’ In for a penny, right?
‘Mark as in Maggie’s Mark? That Mark?’ Her mom’s face fell, and it was like a searing knife through Vanessa’s heart.
‘Yes, Mom, Maggie’s Mark. We’re in love.’ She thought it an easier sell than a one-night stand that resulted in a teen pregnancy. A kindness to them all. A white lie that eased the pain.
‘I don’t understand,’ her mom said, trying to wrap her head around the bombshells. ‘You and Mark are in love? Sweetheart, when did all this happen? I didn’t even know they’d broken up.’
‘They broke up today. We told her just before, actually. She slapped me and I deserved it.’
Her mom’s face darkened. No one hurt her daughter like that, no matter how deserving she was of it. She abhorred physical violence, calling it the lowest form of humanity. Vanessa had once heard snippets of a conversation with her dad where she’d spoken about the abuse in her own home as a child.
‘That was uncalled for.’
‘No, Mom, it wasn’t. I had it coming, and I accept that. I hurt her.’
‘And what does your “love” plan to do about this?’ interrupted her dad. ‘He should marry you. You need to be married. You’ve almost finished school; give this baby a chance to grow up normally.’ Her dad sometimes didn’t get her or the situation, but she could see that he was trying to hold his temper in check.
‘Knowing Mark’s parents, I’m sure they’d say the same.’ Vanessa lowered her eyes, unable to take their scrutiny any longer. ‘He’ll do the right thing, Dad,’ she whispered. Yes, she loved Mark, despite the way he’d treated her, and odds were that she’d be married and, of course, a mom in a few short months.
They ate tea in silence, each lost deep in their own thoughts. Later, when the meal was finished, she heard the TV in the lounge click on, the nightly news blaring through the house. She was helping her mom do the dishes, something she always did, when her mom said quietly, ‘You don’t have to marry him, not if you don’t want to. Never marry someone just because you’re pregnant.’ She said it so emphatically that Vanessa stopped drying the plate.
‘Is that what happened to you?’ Vanessa asked, shocked.
‘I’ve never told you this but, I was pregnant with you before your dad and I married. We had a brief relationship that wasn’t meant to last but I fell pregnant and although it wasn’t what I wanted at the time, I was encouraged to marry your father.’
Vanessa was shocked. ‘Mom, are you not happy?’ Her world seemed to roll around her. Was her whole life a lie?
‘I wasn’t. Not at first. I was in love with someone else, but over time, I grew to love your father deeply – I still do – but I will never forgive my parents for forcing me into marriage just because I was pregnant and might shame them.’ Her mind was stuck in the past for a minute and Vanessa stayed quiet, letting her mother drift until she came back to her. ‘All I’m saying is, if you don’t want to get married, you don’t have to.’ Her mom raised a hand to cup her daughter’s cheek gently. ‘We’ll support you whatever you choose to do.’
‘Mom,’ she cried before being enveloped into the comforting arms of her mom. Slim yet strong, gentle yet capable.
Vanessa woke to the early-morning sun streaming through the chink in her curtains. She had fallen asleep on top of the comforter, too tired and emotionally wrung out to even crawl underneath it. She thought about what her mom had said the night before. She had grown to love her dad, and he must have grown to love her too somewhere along the way. They were happy; why couldn’t she and Mark be happy?
Vanessa was keeping the baby and would marry Mark and everything would be OK. She’d make it work. They’d make it work. Together.
But what if he didn’t want her?
She had to have faith that he’d do the right thing.
Vanessa was making tea in the kitchen when there was a soft knock at the back door. She moved the lace curtain aside and saw Mark standing there, one hand in his pocket. He wore jeans, a black T-shirt and a jacket to protect against the wind. He looked gorgeous. Her heart stumbled momentarily in her chest; its rhythm upset. She unlocked the door.
‘Hi,’ she said.
‘Hey. Can I come in?’
She moved to let him in, a gust of cool air following him. It would warm up; the sun promised to shine on them soon, warming everything that its beams touched. They stood there awkwardly, staring at each other.
‘I told my mom and dad,’ he began.
‘Yeah, I told mine too.’ She waited.
‘They think the best thing to do is for us to get married now, not wait any longer. They kinda have this out-of-wedlock thing. They’re so pissed at me,’ he confided.
‘You want to get married now?’ she asked, unable to process what he was saying.
‘Yeah, they’ll give their permission if yours do.’
‘I think while my parents are on the same page about getting married, they’re gonna want to wait till I turn eighteen and graduate. It’s almost that time now. I’ll be eighteen when the baby is born, so I won’t need their permission. We can wait. Is that OK?’ She looked at him imploringly.
‘None of this is “OK”. I made a mistake – I shouldn’t have to pay for it for the rest of my fucking life,’ he said angrily.
‘Oh, I’m so sorry that this happened to you,’ she said sarcastically, hands on her hips. ‘I can’t imagine what that must be like for you.’
‘Don’t be a bitch, Vanessa. I’m just saying I didn’t think I’d have to plan my whole life in one night.’
‘Well neither did I,’ she hissed quietly so she didn’t wake her parents. ‘We’ll get married and have the baby in a couple of months. I think it’s a good idea if we both stay away from Maggie, give her the space she needs. Besides, we’re a couple now.’
She could have sworn that she saw a shudder run through his body as he turned toward the back door.
‘We can make this work, Mark. We can raise this child together, and we can be happy. I promise.’