And Cassie can too. She moved in with the Miller’s, a few houses down the street from mine during my senior year. Judy and Roy had two other foster kids that were going to college and I think they were dreading an empty home. Cassie had just started freshman year and was a bit of a troublemaker from what Mom had told me. Mrs. Barren asked me to befriend her to help her settle down.
As far as forced relationships go, this one went unexpectantly well. Cassie warmed up to me and even let me talk her into trying a few church lessons. She said she always looked up to her big brother and having me around felt comfortable and familiar. I was a rock for her.
Now, when I’m away at college, she starts acting up again. I think part of her is afraid she’s going to lose me like she lost her brother. Early on in foster care, he was adopted when she wasn’t, and she hasn’t been able to find him. I need to remember to call her more often to keep her grounded.
A small, humorless laugh escapes my lips. How is it that I can keep someone else grounded when I have no say over my own chaotic feelings? I need to take control.
...
Two hours later, I find an empty parking spot to pull into behind my dorm building. The large three-story structure casts shade over the parking lot as a few other cars pull in, all of them returning from their short weekend away. I grab my purse from the passenger seat and unload my suitcase from the trunk.
It’s nice to be back. I love home but I feel so independent and free here.
I ride the clunky elevator up to the top floor. When I unlock my dorm room door, I hear a shout from the far side of the room. “Welcome home roomie!”
I prop my suitcase up on my desk chair and walk over to Marie’s bed to give her a hug. She lays down the book she was reading and wraps her arms around me.
I couldn’t have asked for a better roommate. Marie and I became instant friends when we were paired as roommates as freshmen last year. Her optimistic, bubbly, outgoing personality never has trouble making me smile. She is a few inches shorter than me with hazel eyes that pair perfectly with her red tinted brown hair that hangs down to her waist.
Thank goodness we get along because our dorm room is fairly small. Sliding door closets line one side of our short hall and the bathroom, the other side. In our main room, our bulky beds with built in drawers sit at opposite corners while our desks are pushed up against opposing walls. We each have our own decorative style, making it clear whose side is which. While mine reflects my colorful bedroom at home, Marie’s is adorned in darker, rustic colors.
“How was your weekend?” I ask absentmindedly as I send a quick text to Scotty and my mom, letting them know I’ve arrived safely. I begin to unpack my now clean clothes from my suitcase.
“What are you doing asking me about my weekend? I sat around here studying and you and I both know your weekend is what we should be talking about!” She watches me with genuine interest.
I laugh lightly. “There’s not too much to tell. Scotty and I just went on an incredible date and he gave me this.” I hold out my locket away from my neck.
Marie crawls out of bed and rushes over. “It’s beautiful!”
I blush. “It is, isn’t it?” I allow myself to trail off in my thoughts. I’m so lucky to have found Scotty. Or rather, to have been found by Scotty. It’s hard being away from him for so long but we’re both in college, working hard to create a stable life for ourselves, for our future. I had never focused as hard on my studies as I have after meeting him.
That reminds me.
“Oh! I have a Calculus test to study for! I have to do better on this one! Sorry, Marie, I’ll be back to talk later!” I snatch my Calculus book up off my desk and rush out the door.
One of my favorite places on campus is on the quad, right in the middle at the flagpole. I love to be outside to study, listen to music, or just people watch. I find it more relaxing than staying cooped up in my room or fighting for a comfy chair in the too quiet library.
I sit on the short brick wall surrounding the flagpole and prop my book open. In my notebook I begin to work through the sample problems. If I stay focused, I will understand this. Guitar strums drift across the breeze and lull me into a comfortable rhythm of problem solving. My ears tune out shouts and conversations so well that I almost don’t respond to someone speaking to me.
“Is this seat taken?”
Startled, I look up from my notes to a broad tan body shrouded in sunlight. I squint trying to make out a face, but what little I can see doesn’t look familiar.
“Umm… no.” I awkwardly slide sideways on the rough brick seating. I catch a glimpse around me and see that no one else is sitting on the wall. Why does he have to sit right next to me?
I try to steal a glance once he’s sat down out of the sun but he’s full on staring at me. Instead of looking away, I can’t help but to stare back. The stubble on his chin leads up his prominent jawline. His light brown hair lays in a I-just-got-out-of-bed style. Most striking are his green eyes that shine like dew kissed grass.
“I’m sorry for staring but you look so familiar. What’s your name?”
I continue to stare. Make words! I look away. “Uh, sorry, I’m Katie.” I allow myself another peek but this time his eyes look silver like the reflective blade of a knife. Must be the sunlight messing with my eyes.
“I thought that was you. You don’t recognize me, do you?” He slides closer and I fight the urge to slide backwards.
“Should I?” Something pulls at my memory, but I can’t quite grasp it.
“I’m Matthew. We went to middle school together.” He waits expectantly for recognition to kick in.
After a brief moment, my heart skips and my breath catches. Matthew and I had been so close when we were younger. He was my best friend. I couldn’t believe that this guy sitting beside me was really him. When I knew him, he was an awkward disproportional thirteen-year-old. Now…now one could call him hot. Or I could.
My eyes slip to his left arm. A gold bangle hangs loosely around his wrist. I scan his forearm for a long, faded scar that’s barely visible but I know where to look. I recall the day he bet me I couldn’t beat him on my bike down a rough trail at the park. Exposed tree roots and rocks made a speed run dangerous, but I wasn’t about to back down from a challenge. Even though he was winning the whole way, he kept glancing back to make sure I was okay. That caused him not to notice the rock his front tire hit. I let him wrap his arm up in my favorite pink Lion King jacket to stop the blood and we walked back to his house where his mom doctored him up and made us cookies.
Returning to the present, I look at him in awe. “I don’t know what to say… I can’t believe it!”
“How about you say yes to my next question?” Matthew flashes me a flawless smile and my heart jumps at how amazing he looks.
I stare at him without replying for a moment too long. My head stops swimming and I blink a few times before stammering, “W-what question would that be?”
“Let me take you out to dinner.” The way he phrases it isn’t at all like a question, but rather an opportunity I’d be crazy to pass up.
“You mean, like a date?” I blink a few times, stunned at his forwardness.
“If that’s what you want to call it.” His smile turns into a teasing one which only makes my heart pound harder.