Our first date during our Junior year of high school, we went to the movies and had dinner at the local diner. Scotty drove me home and worked up the courage to kiss me, but as he leaned in his seatbelt locked up leaving his face inches from mine. I giggled and told him his truck must be jealous and left him kiss-less. A little cruel maybe but as soon as he got home, he texted asking when he could see me again.
Now, as he pulls the truck over in front of my house, I turn to face him, a playful smile dancing on my lips. “Is your truck jealous tonight?”
In the dim lighting offered by the dashboard lights, I watch Scotty cringe. “I’m never going to live that down, am I?”
“Not if I have anything to say about it.” I slide to the middle seat and unhook his seatbelt. He caresses my cheek with his hand before bringing his lips to mine. I slide even closer and intertwine my fingers into his hair. This whole day has made me realize how much I’ve missed the closeness of him. We fall into a heavier kiss and the windows start to fog. I break away and sigh. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too. Try not to stay away so long this time, okay? A month is a long time to make my lips wait for yours.”
I feel a sliver of guilt seep in. “I’ll try. I’ll have to see how my work schedule is. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I steal one more kiss before slipping out of the truck. Automatic porchlights flick on and illuminate the stone walkway that leads to the white front door of my small brick home. Once inside, I shut the door and lean against it, sliding down to the light brown hardwood floor. How lucky can one person be?
Anna’s old ears finally hear me. Her toenails click on the floor as she races toward me, the wag of her fluffy tail only outdone by her ecstatic barking. Her being fifteen and myself twenty, most of my memorable childhood years include her. The tinges of grey that touch her golden face in no way diminishes the twinkle of affection in her amber eyes. I truly miss her when I’m away.
“Kathryn? Is that you?’
“Yeah, Mom.” I kick off my shoes and skip to the kitchen, giddy as a schoolgirl who got kissed on the bus. Mom stands at the sink doing dishes in the faded yellow kitchen. Her graying blonde hair is swept up in a bun with a few loose strands hanging over her shoulders. She’s wearing the sunflower apron I got her this past Christmas. The warm smell of the roast she made for dinner still lingers in the air. I slide in next to her and begin drying the clean cups and plates.
“So, what did you and boy wonder do today?”
“You would think after three years you’d warm up to him. I’ve never understood why you call him that.”
My mother smiles. “It’s not an insult if that’s what you’re asking. I just remember a few short years ago you didn’t have much interest in dating and then this young man shows up and sweeps you off your feet. I just think he must be some great guy to love you the way he does.”
My nose crinkles with laughter. “He didn’t sweep me off my feet!”
“No? Tell me about your day then?”
I take a handful of clean silverware from the dish strainer and begin sorting it in the drawer behind Mom. “He took me on a picnic at the park and we went walking around the lake and sat on the dock to watch the sunset.”
Mom clatters some plates into my side of the sink. “That sounds very nice. Most boys just want to take you to their bedroom.”
“Scott’s not like that. He wants to take care of me not sleep with me.” I watch Mom scrub at a spot on a skillet. We’ve always been close and open about everything, but since she’s right about me not being interested in boys prior to Scotty, these kinds of conversations didn’t come up much. After a few moments I break the silence. “He thinks you don’t like him.”
Mom puts the skillet down and looks directly at me with a hand on her hip. “Well, you need to tell that boy he’s crazy.”
I can’t hold back the smile that forces its way onto my face. “I love you, Mom.” I throw my arms around her neck and hold her tight. “Thank you.”
“Where’s my hug?” I turn around and see Dad’s broad frame standing in the kitchen doorway. I rush to him and throw my arms around his neck. He squeezes me tight. “I haven’t seen you for four weeks, kiddo.”
“Sorry, Dad. I came in late last night and you were already asleep in your chair, then Scotty and I were out all day for our third anniversary.” I pull away and look at his balding head and the laugh crinkles around his warm brown eyes.
“Your mom told me. How was it?”
“It was great.” I walk back over to the sink and finish putting away the dishes. He disappears into the living room. I smile to myself betting he’ll be asleep in his recliner by the time I head upstairs to go to bed. He’s one of the hardest working men I know. Owning his own construction business, he sometimes words fifteen to sixteen hours a day, weekends too. Although he makes a point to never miss a birthday or any other special occasion, he is gone a lot of the time.
Mom glances at me as if she wants to say something but is unsure if she should. I wait patiently until she speaks. “I ordered a refill for your medicine yesterday. You can stop and pick it up tomorrow on your way back to college.”
I stiffen. “I could have done that back in Keyser.”
“I know, but I thought you were probably getting low and I know you’re busy through the week, so I was trying to help.” She fiddles with her dishcloth as she tries to sound nonchalant.
“Thanks.” My mood drops as I think about my anxiety governing my life.
“Have you been doing okay on them? You haven’t had any of those attacks at college, have you? You know the doctor said if they don’t work, we can see about changing to a different kind.”
“Mom, they’re working fine. I wish everyone would stop asking about it.” I try not to sound snappy, so my voice comes out as a forced calm.
“I’m just worried sweetheart. I was really scared that day you passed out from your anxiety.” She places a hand on my shoulder, and I feel myself melt. It’s not her fault I feel like this.
I sigh. “I know, but I’m alright. Really. I’m going to bed now, okay?”
“Alright, Kathryn. Goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Night.” I walk through the living room placing a quick kiss on my sleeping dad’s forehead. Anna follows me up the carpeted stairs, passing collages of family pictures on the way to my room. I plug in a strand of lights inside the doorway. The rainbow bulbs wrap around the room and light up the dozens of photographs attached to the pale blue walls with decorative tape. In my small connecting bathroom, I only flip my nightlight on, enjoying the relaxing ambience of the dim lighting. I splash cool water on my face and allow myself to breathe vowing to myself that this anxiety isn’t going to control me anymore. After brushing my teeth, I wander back into my bedroom.
I flop down on my bed and rub the silky pink comforter. Anna hoists herself up beside me and lays down. It’s been a long day. I start to think about my trip back to Riverside tomorrow and the upcoming Calculus midterm looming in the near future.
I groan and roll over, too tired to change into pajamas. It doesn’t take long for me to drift off to sleep.