Uncle Mark just wasn’t ’bout to be doing.
So he did
what a lot of people do
around here.
HIS PLAN
To sell for one day.
One day.
Uncle Mark
took a corner,
pockets full
of rocks to
become rolls,
future finance,
and in an hour
had enough
money to buy
a new camera.
But decided
to stick at it
just through
the end of the day.
That’s all.
Just through
the end
of
the
day.
I’M SURE
you
know
where
this
is
going.
HE HELD THAT CORNER
for a day,
for a week,
for a month,
full-out
pusher,
money-making
pretty boy,
target
for a ruthless
young hustler
whose name
Mom can never
remember.
THAT GUY TOOK THE CORNER
from Uncle Mark.
Snatched it right from
under him.
And it wasn’t peaceful.
Everybody
ran ducked hid tucked
themselves tight
blew their own eardrums
gouged their own eyes.
Did what they’d all
been trained to.
Pretended like yellow tape
was some kind of
neighborhood flag
that don’t nobody wave
but always be flapping
in the wind.
UNCLE MARK SHOULD’VE
just bought his camera
and shot his stupid movie
after the first day.
Unfortunately,
he never shot nothing
ever again.
But my father did.
ANAGRAM NO. 4
CINEMA = ICEMAN
RANDOM THOUGHT NO. 3
Not sure
what an iceman is,
but it makes me think
of bad dudes.
Cold-blooded.
09:08:31 a.m.
SO ANYWAY, AFTER I SAID IT,
and shoots,
it was like the words
came out and at the same
time went in.
Went down
into me and
chewed on everything
inside as if
I had somehow
swallowed
my own teeth
and they were
sharper than
I’d ever known.
MEANWHILE,
Uncle Mark
reached into his
shirt pocket,
pulled out two
cigarettes.
Great.
More smoke.
I hoped
the second one
wasn’t for me.
I don’t smoke.
Shit is gross.
Plus, people
who living,
who real,
like me
ain’t allowed
to smoke
in elevators.
AND WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IN THIS MOVIE?
Uncle Mark asked,
tucking one cig
behind his ear,
booger-rolling the other
between his fingers.
Nothing.
That’s it. The end.
I shrugged.
He positioned the cig
in the corner of his mouth,
patted his pockets
for fire.
The end?
he murmured,
looking at Buck,
motioning for a light.
It’s never the end,
Uncle Mark said,
all chuckle, chuckle.
He leaned toward Buck.
Never.
Buck struck a match.
And the elevator came to a stop,
again.
THIS TIME
there was no smoke
blocking the door,
even though there were
three people—
I guess, people—
in the elevator,
smoking.
I know
it don’t make sense,
but stay with me.
AND THERE HE WAS,
clear as day
as the door
slid open.
Recognized
him instantly.
Been waiting
for him since
I was three.
Mikey Holloman.
My father.
09:08:32 a.m.
MY POP
stepped in the elevator,
stood right in front of me,
stared
as if looking
at his own reflection,
as if he’d stepped into
a time machine.
Moments
later spread his arms,
welcomed me into
a lifetime’s worth
of squeeze.
IS IT POSSIBLE
for a hug
to peel back skin
of time,
the toughened
and raw bits,
the irritated
and irritating
dry spots,
the parts that bleed?
POP PULLED AWAY,
noticed his brother,
gave Uncle Mark
a firm handshake,
yanked him in
for a half hug
just like on
all the pictures.
No sound in the
elevator except
hands popping
together and
the muted thud
of pats on backs.
I HAVE NO MEMORIES
of my father.
Shawn always tried to get me to
remember things like
Pop dressing up as Michael Jackson
for Halloween and, after trick-or-treating,
riding us up and down on this elevator,
doing his best moonwalk but
not enough space to go nowhere,
slamming into walls.
Shawn swore I laughed
so hard I farted,
stunk up the whole elevator,
even peed myself.
I was only three.
And I don’t remember that.
I’ve always wanted to,
but I don’t.
I so don’t.
A BROKEN HEART
killed my dad.
That’s what my mother
always said.
And as a kid
I always figured
his heart
was forreal broken
like an arm
or a toy
or the middle drawer.
BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT SHAWN SAID.
Shawn always said
our dad was killed
for killing the man
who killed our uncle.
Said he was at a pay
phone, probably talking
to Mom, when a guy
walked up on him,
put pistol to head,
asked him if he knew a
guy who went by Gee.
Don’t know what Pop said.
But that was the end
of that story.
I ALWAYS USED TO ASK
Shawn how he knew that.
Especially the whole
Gee thing.
He said
Buck told him.
Said that was
Buck’s corner.
It was then that Buck
started looking out
for Shawn, who at
the time