Single Girl Rule #1
Boys are replaceable. Friends are forever.
Prologue - Runaway Bride
Saturday - Oct 10, 2026
The hairdresser stepped back to admire her work. “What do you think?”
After hours of sitting around in curlers and drinking mimosas…I was feeling more than a little buzzed. I thought I looked damn good. But before I could answer her, my wedding planner, Justin, strutted into the room.
He took one look at me and smiled. “Chastity, you are the picture of perfection.”
“Yeah, bitch, I know.”
He laughed. “Pictures start in thirty minutes. We need to get you into your dress. And where is Ash?”
“In here,” Ash said from the adjoining restroom.
“Well, come out,” Justin said. “We need to make sure it fits okay. Time is ticking, ladies!”
Ash groaned and stepped out in her hideous bridesmaid dress.
I couldn’t help but laugh. It was truly awful. I didn’t even want such a monstrosity in my wedding pictures. But payback was a bitch. And you should have seen what she’d made me wear at her first wedding. That sly whore tried to make up for it at her second wedding, but we were still not even.
“That dress is…fitted,” Justin said. It was pretty much the only nice thing to say. It was freaking terrible. But it did fit her well.
“Stop laughing at me,” Ash said and glared at me. “I’m going to kill you.”
I shook my head. “You say that to me all the time. And yet…here I am alive and well on my wedding day!” I lifted my champagne glass in the air. “Ah, I’m getting married!” I stood up and wobbled a little in my heels. Definitely too many mimosas. I quickly downed the one in my hand and handed it to my hairdresser.
“Come over here,” I said and grabbed Ash. “We need a picture right now.”
“I’ve got you,” Justin said. He snapped a picture of Ash looking terrible and me looking like a queen in my satin robe and high heels. God, this really was the best day of my life.
Justin and Ash worked together to get me into my dress.
“I can’t believe I’m actually getting married,” I said and stared into the mirror. Ash’s dress was a taffeta nightmare. But my wedding dress was more of a dream. Actually, that was almost exactly what I said when I’d first put it on. A risqué dream. The v-neckline dipped way too low. And there were way too many sheer parts. And it was way too tight. Way too everything. Or at least…that was what everyone told me. They were totes wrong, though. It was perfect. And it was so easy to picture the layers spread out all around me on the floor as I sat on my soon-to-be husband’s face tonight. That’s right - he was a giver.
“You look simply radiant,” Justin said.
Ash sniffled. “You really do. You’re the most beautiful bride ever.”
“Don’t cry!” I said. “You’re going to make me cry!”
“No one cry!” Justin snapped. “I swear if I see one tear I’m going to make you get all your makeup redone. We will have no tearstained cheeks in these photos, people!” The walkie-talkie on his hip started going off. “Wedding planner duties are calling! Don’t smudge your makeup, or I swear to God…”
Chastity laughed as Justin ran out of the room.
Ash sighed. “I’m so happy for you. And your fiancé is going to die when he sees you walk down the aisle. You two are perfect together.”
We really were. He was every dream of mine come true. I wouldn’t just give up the single girl life for anyone. “Oh my God.” I grabbed Ash’s arm.
“What? Are you okay?”
“No! The Single Girl Rules!”
Ash just stared at me. “Right. I’m so glad you’re going to be done with those. Goodbye and good riddance.”
“No!”
“No what? You’re going to be married. You can’t do that crazy stuff anymore. It’s completely inappropriate.”
“I know that. I meant ‘no’ as in fucking no! How could I forget? I’ve been so busy with last-minute wedding details that I didn’t give the rules back! This is a disaster! We need to leave right this second!”
“Um…” Ash stared at me in my wedding dress. “Chasity, we can’t go anywhere. We’re taking pictures before the ceremony. We’re supposed to be out in the gardens in like half an hour.”
“Did you not hear what I just said? This is an emergency! A 911 situation. I have to put the Single Girl Rules back right freaking now.” I lifted the hem of my dress, ready to make a run for it.
“Back where? Cut it out, Chastity. We both know you made up those rules.”
“I did not! How many times do I have to tell you this? The rules came to me when I needed them most, and now I have to put them back for someone else to find. Come on.” I grabbed Ash’s hand and pulled her out of the wedding suite.
“Slow down!” called Ash. “I can’t run in these stupid shoes.
Her shoes were as dumb as her dress. But she should have thought about that when she’d made me wear one-inch pumps to her first wedding. One-inch. What was I…80 years old? I’d paid her back by giving her six-inch heels because she was bad at walking in them. I loved being a bridezilla. It suited me.
I pulled her down a hallway and put my back against a wall so no one could see us.
“What are you doing?”
“Shh!” I hissed. “We’re making a getaway.”
“Oh. So you are having cold feet? I get it. I’m a little relieved. I know I said you two were perfect for each other, but he is a little weird.”
“Excuse you? I’m not having cold feet. I’m going back to college.” I slowly peered around the corner to see if the coast was clear.
“I’m pretty sure that’s cold feet. And we can’t go to Newark right now. We’ll miss the whole wedding. It’s over a two-hour drive…”
“That’s why we’re taking my perfect soon-to-be husband’s helicopter. Now stop saying insane stuff and let’s make a run for it!” Okay, fine. I know I sounded insane. But this was important. I wasn’t going to be a single girl anymore. And it went against the whole principle of the Single Girl Rules to hoard them from other single girls.
I grabbed Ash’s hand and we made a run for it. We made it out of the mansion and into the gardens without being spotted. Everyone else was still either getting ready or setting up for the ceremony inside. It was the perfect getaway.
Or not. Because Justin had just burst out the doors of the mansion.
“Where are you going?!” he yelled from behind us.
“The Single Girl Rules!” I yelled back to him.
“What the hell are you talking about?!”
I’d always thought Justin was so cool. How did he not know about the Single Girl Rules? #Lame. “I’ll be back before the ceremony!”
“Don’t you runaway-bride me, missy!”
“I’m not!”
“Don’t you dare get in that helicopter!” he screamed
Too late. Luckily the helicopter was already here, ready to whisk me and shmoopie poo away to our honeymoon. We climbed in. “Go, go, go!”