“You know, you’re right,” I grind out as I pull my horse up alongside his.
“About what?”
“I should have brought Uriel.”
Instead of being offended like I wanted him to, he laughs. Even while actively wanting to hate him for it, his deep baritone makes me smile. I hide it by looking away from him, but I’m pretty sure he isn’t fooled. Gabriel is so different from his brothers. They fawn over me, show me obvious affection. And while that’s amazing, and I feel a deep pulling connection to them, Gabriel pulls me in an entirely different direction. We share a kinship together. One birthed out of the shared feeling of grief. It makes me wonder why the others aren’t more like him.
“They are older than me, and I was closest to Amara,” Gabriel replies, his voice hitching on her name.
Amara. Her name rings through me like a bell, the feeling of familiarity there. I never knew her, but she gave me blood out of the kindness of her heart. Plus, we’re connected by a centuries-long curse that has played with all of our emotions. That had to count for something. I give Gabriel a sidelong glance, trying to gauge whether or not I can ask him questions about her. Would it be rude? Does he care? He’s made of ice half the time anyhow. At that thought he turns to look at me, a crooked smile on his lips.
“You know that I can hear everything you’re thinking, right?”
My cheeks flush. “Then teach me how to avoid screaming my thoughts at you at all hours of the day.”
“Is that really what you want to do?” he asks, giving me a knowing look.
He didn’t say it outright, but I know that he’s giving me permission to ask about Amara. And while it’s nice of him, great of him even, I’m suddenly feeling a bit uneasy. I have so, so many questions about her, most of them a bit selfish in nature, I admit. But I want to ask them all. Is she painfully beautiful? Kindhearted? Selfless? A better lover than me?
Was it easy for her to love them?
And, if so, does that make me defective?
“How about we do both?” Gabriel asks while leading me through a thick part of the woods. “Once we get to the lake, we’ll sit down and I’ll answer all of your questions, even the selfish ones, and then teach you about thought control.”
He didn’t look at me while saying it, but I can see a slight tinge of pink along his cheek bones. I smile, it’s cute that he’s embarrassed about helping me. Somehow, it makes it feel more intimate. I know that he’s pushing himself to reach out to me, to make a connection and that it must be hard for him. Hell, I know the feeling.
“Don’t get all mushy on me,” he calls from up ahead, urging his horse into a gallop as the terrain opens up.
“Wouldn’t dream of it!” I shout, pushing the mare into a sprint.
Forty yards ahead is a magnificent crystal clear lake surrounded by a sandy beach. It came out of nowhere. At one moment we were deep within a thick borough of trees, and the next we broke out onto a plain of tall grass leading directly to the lake. It appears untouched by civilization as if Raph owns the entire lake. I wouldn’t put it past the lords to do such a thing.
Gabriel reaches the shore first, dismounting from his horse and leading it to the lake’s edge to drink. Instead of stopping right away, I veer to the right, riding along the edge of the lake. My mare snorts in delight as she sprints faster, kicking up sand as we go. The wind in my hair feels amazing, and I let go of the reins to lift my hands up toward the sky, whooping out my own happiness. I can feel Gabriel’s eyes on me as we round the opposite side of the lake, but I can’t see him past the gleam of the sun hitting the water.
This is paradise; true, undiluted, paradise. Never in a thousand years would I have believed that I’d be happy with the lords, or at the very least, happy enough to be riding with my arms in the air and the wind burning my face. I fall back down against the mares neck, gripping it as she leaps over rocks along the shore, stopping once she reaches Gabriel again. He helps me off of the mare, and I slide down his body, my skin tingling at every place it touches his. I look up at him, then, to find him grinning down at me. A real, genuine smile on his face.
“Maybe I was the perfect man to cheer you up,” he murmurs.
I laugh, a wide smile pulling back my own lips. “Yes, maybe.”
We hold onto each other for a few more seconds, my arms wrapped around his neck, his around my lower back. It’s those few moments that I realize how close our lips are, how easy it would be to lean in to brush a kiss across his mouth. It would be wrong, though. I know the lords are waiting for my full submission, for me to freely give them all of me, body and soul. That’s a large part of why I can’t control my thoughts that they hear, along with not being able to hear theirs in return.
Despite those logical thoughts, my body sways forward, lips hovering right over his. Gabriel doesn’t pull away, and I watch as his canines grow across his bottom lip, betraying his desire. My core throbs in response, and I lick my lips. I want to kiss him so badly, hell, I want to shove him into the sand and rip his clothes off.
“We can’t,” he groans, yet pulls me closer.
“I know,” I whisper against his lips, rising up on my toes so that we’re nearly face to face.
The tension mounts even higher when our eyes lock and I see the building fire within his. It calls to me so profoundly that I can’t resist any longer, can’t stop myself when I lean in and crush my lips against his. He moans into my mouth, and I capture the sound with my tongue, swiping it along his teeth until a gentle cut is sliced across it. The taste of my own blood fills my mouth, but I don’t stop. As if my blood was the final damning strike to his own resolve, Gabriel crushes me to him, taking control and claiming my mouth with his tongue. He shoves one knee between my legs, expertly grinding against me over and over. He hits my clit again and again, and I pant into his mouth now, my desire for him turning into a raging inferno. He pulls back for a moment, breathing hard as he leans his forehead against mine.
“Please,” I moan, my body trembling against his.
“I can’t, I promised my brothers,” he groans, dropping his head back to the sky as if he’s praying for strength.
Instead of listening to him, I push him to the sandy ground, straddling him. His eyes fly open in shock when he hits the sand, the breath whooshing out of him. Embarrassment makes my cheeks color. I’ve never been this brazen before, but I can’t seem to stop myself. My desire and frustration has been building for days, leaving me wanting and desperate for release. Surely he can see that, and despite his words, the rock hard erection beneath me shows me just how much he’s been suppressing his own desire.
“Just let me ride you,” I pant, leaning in so that my lips are pressed against his throat. “If it’s blood you’re supposed to hold out on, we can refrain from that.”
He shudders against me, and I smile wickedly at him once he opens his eyes. They’re burning with red hot fire, that inner crimson glow only serving to set me off even more as I grind myself against his hard cock. My fingers trail up and down his chest, aching to take his shirt off and feel the hard muscle beneath. But I won’t, not until he says yes, not until he admits that he wants to do this just as much as I do.
“Gods, you’re beautiful when you’re confident,” he groans, running his own hands up and down my back. “I want you, Blair. I want you so much that I’m throbbing with it.”