But a whole family?
I can’t understand that.
Faking your own death to get away from them?
What sort of person would want to leave their babies behind?
Bohdi isn’t the man I thought he was.
That hurts more than anything.
What am I going to do now?
“Thought I’d find you here.”
I jerk at the sound of Bohdi’s voice coming from behind me. I don’t turn, because if I turn he’ll see my face and he’ll know just how much it hurts. If I open my mouth to speak, he’ll hear my voice breaking. I can’t give him any of those things.
“Merleigh,” he says, sitting down beside me, hanging his legs over the side. His voice is husky, and my soul immediately responds to it.
If I look to him and see his gorgeous face, or that long sandy-blond hair, or his eyes when they lock onto mine, I’ll lose my strength.
Right now, my strength is all I have.
“Look at me.”
I close my eyes.
If I close them long enough, maybe he’ll go away.
He exhales.
He came here to find me, even though his wife is at home.
I wish that made me feel better, but it doesn’t.
Rage builds inside of me, another feeling I’m not familiar with. I have never been an angry person. I’ve always been quiet and shy. I have always been strong, taking things on and never showing how much they hurt. I take pride in being who I am. Angry isn’t something I ever wanted to be but, right now, I’m struggling to feel anything else.
“You’re hurt,” he says, his voice weary. “I know that. You gotta let me explain.”
Explain?
Explain that you have a family you abandoned? How could you possibly explain that?
“It’s a long story, a story I need to confirm with my wife before I share it with you. I need you to trust me right now, and I know you don’t, but I need you to. Soon, it’ll make sense to you. But right now, I have to sort it out.”
I don’t say anything.
I don’t want to hear his story.
I just want to leave.
To disappear and never come back.
Maybe that’s what I’ll do.
Maybe I will leave. Hell, maybe I’ll leave tomorrow.
There is nothing holding me here anymore.
“Merleigh, fuck, will you look at me?”
I won’t, no.
I keep my eyes closed.
He exhales and then reaches over and sweeps my hair, blowing frantically in the breeze, away so he can see the side of my face. He gently tucks it behind my ear, and his thumb moves over the skin on my cheek. I flinch away, turning my face in the opposite direction.
“Please, give me a chance to show you who I really am.”
He had that chance.
He didn’t take it.
Now, that chance is gone.
I stand and turn, walking off into the darkness.
Not before I hear his pained bellow echo through the night.
My heart wants to run to him.
My brain is smarter than that.
It’s time to move on.
I have no other choice.
Bohdi and I will simply never be.
“HEY.”
The side of my bed sags as Waverly sits on the side of it, staring down at me, a cup of tea in her hand. She’s got messy hair and a soft expression on her face. I adore Waverly, because she has been a constant in my life since they rescued me from the nightmare I was tossed into. She is my friend, and she and Mykel have been so gracious as to let me stay with them for the last month or so. I didn’t want to trouble Briella for too long, and Waverly was more than happy for me to live with them.
“Hey,” I say, sitting up, running my fingers through my hair.
The blond locks fall over my shoulders in a tangled mess. I didn’t brush it when I went to sleep last night, and it’s going to be a hell of a mess when I try to deal with it today.
“How are you feeling, honey?” Waverly asks, handing me the cup of tea.
“I ... I actually wanted to talk to you. It’s important.”
She narrows her eyes, looking concerned. “Are you okay?”
I shake my head. Truth is, I’m not okay. I’m not, but I’ve made a choice. Last night, feeling the pain I felt, I know I have no other option now. I can’t be here, I can’t face this. It’s finally time for me to get my life back, and the only way I can do that is to start fresh somewhere new.
There is a little town about two hours from here. It’s a seaside town, gorgeous and small. I will find a job, a place, and maybe, just maybe, fix my life. I’m close enough that I can still see the people I love, but far enough away that I no longer have to see Bohdi. Especially now his wife has returned. That pain is simply too much to bear.
“I’m not really, no,” I tell Waverly. “I just ... I can’t be here anymore, Waverly. I’m struggling, and that struggle is only going to get worse. I’m hurting, really bad, and I need to be free of that. There is only one way I can do that. I’m moving away.”
Her eyes widen and she looks confused as she stares at me, slowly shaking her head. “You’re moving? Where? Why? I know you’re hurting, honey, but we’re your family.”
“And I love you all, I truly do, but I need to be somewhere other than here. Seeing him ...”
“We don’t even know the full story. There could be any explanation as to why he has a wife he didn’t want to be around, there are thousands of them. Aren’t you at least going to wait and see what that is?”
“He lied to me. He lied to all of us. He has a family. A family that has obviously been looking for him for a very long time. I’m not going to be the reason he doesn’t consider going back to them. I’m sorry, but I’ve made up my mind. I’m not going far, we can visit all the time, but it’s finally time for me to start my life the way I deserve. This was just a push in the right direction.”
She hesitates, but I’m certain she can see in my eyes that there is no changing my mind.
“When are you going?” she asks, her voice soft and defeated.
“Tomorrow, but ... I need to ask a huge favor.”
“Anything, honey. Anything at all.”
“I have no money. I was on the internet last night, and I found a place. It’s small, but it’s so nice. I am going to give them a call today. If it works out, I am going to take it, move in and go from there. I just need something to cover me until I can get a job.”
Waverly nods. “Whatever you need, we’ll give it to you.”
I swallow and force a small smile. “I appreciate you, I hope you know just how much. I won’t be far away, we can visit all the time and have girls’ nights. I have to do this, Waverly.”
“I know you do, that’s what kills me. I get it. You have been through so much, you deserve to have your life exactly the way you want it, and you most certainly deserve to be able to choose for yourself what that is. Do me a favor, though. Talk to Bohdi before you leave. I feel like there is so much more to the story than any of us could imagine.”
“Maybe,” I say softly. “Either way, his mess is for him to figure out. I can’t be part of it, it just hurts too much.”
“I respect that. Let me know how you go with your new place, and we can go from there.”