“I don’t ... I don’t understand how,” I whisper.
He shrugs. “It wasn’t hard. We were both up there, there were signs of a struggle, the evidence of both our partners betrayals was in the car. Sherry’s body was never found, that water led far, far out, and god knows where she ended up. Because of that, it was easy for me to disappear. I knew people, I got fake everything, and I started my life again. After five years, I was officially declared dead. Here I am.”
“You didn’t change your name?”
He shakes his head. “No, just my last name.”
“How did your wife find you?”
“She had suspicions. She didn’t think I was dead so she came looking for me when things went south for her. She doesn’t have pure intentions, but we have proven my youngest son, is indeed mine. I regret the fact that I left without finding that out. I missed out on years with him.”
I don’t know how to take any of this.
My mind is spinning.
He basically faked his own death, disappeared, and now his wife has found him. One of those children belong to him, which means she isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
“Do you love her?” I ask, my voice soft and shaky.
“No,” he says, meeting my gaze. “No, I don’t, but I do love my son, and I want to be part of his life. I have to be part of hers to do that. She isn’t willing to make things easy right now, but I’m hoping she’ll come around.”
“Why did she come back for you? What did she expect to find?”
“She has lost everything, and she has nowhere to go. She married Daniel, and he abused her. She took the boys and left him with everything.”
She married the man she cheated on him with, and now that things have gone wrong, she wants to come back and try and worm her way back into his life. Can’t this woman survive on her own?
“So what now?”
He stares at me, and long moments pass before he answers. “I don’t know what I’m going to do about any of that right now, but I do know one thing ... I can’t have a life without you in it, Merleigh.”
“You’re married, Bohdi. You have a wife and a child. I don’t fit in that picture.”
“You fit wherever I say you fit,” he growls. “You’re the only friend I’ve got, and I don’t want to face life without you. I did lie to you, but it wasn’t even meant to hurt you.”
“I have feelings for you,” I whisper, avoiding his gaze. “More than you realize. I don’t know if I can be your friend. I don’t know if I can be what you’re asking. I don’t want to get hurt.”
“I know,” he murmurs. “But friendship is all I can give you right now. Until this is sorted out, I can’t be what you’re needing me to be.”
That hurts.
Those words are soul crushing.
I take a sip of my wine, but my hand shakes.
“Give me time, Merleigh. Give me a chance.”
I look to him and my eyes glisten with tears. “Friends?”
“Yeah.”
I have two choices here.
The first is to be is friend and accept that we’ll likely never be anything more. It’ll mean I’m there for him, that I hear him when he’s down, that we talk about his life and his situation and I have to face his wife and whatever choices he makes around that.
The second is to tell him I can’t be his friend, cut all ties, and lose him forever.
Both options are going to hurt.
But to not have him in my life ... I don’t know if I can honestly say I’m ready for that.
“Okay,” I say, my voice quiet. “Friends.”
He stares at me, his eyes scanning over my face, but he says nothing.
Neither of us do.
We just sit and stare into the darkness, in total silence.
I don’t know how this is going to go, but I do know one thing ...
Bohdi is the only person I’ve ever felt this way about.
I can’t give that up.
Even if it hurts.
6
THEN – BOHDI
18 YEARS OLD
“Bro, are you two serious or what?” Carson asks, lighting a joint and bringing it to his lips, staring at Isla over the crowd of people dancing to the loud music.
“We’re fucking, we spend time together, but I don’t think she’s the one for me.”
Carson snorts. “No woman is the one, man. That’s just a fuckin’ fairytale. You fuck them, you marry them, you have kids with them, and you always think about all the rest of them out there, that you could be fucking. So the cycle goes.”
“Bitter fuckin’ way of thinkin’ about things,” I mutter, inhaling the joint when he hands it to me.
“It’s the truth, brother. Don’t doubt it.”
“What are you two fags talking about?” Sean asks, appearing with a bottle of whiskey in his hand, a young, pretty girl hanging off his arm.
“Women,” Carson snatches the bottle from Sean’s hand and brings it to his lips.
“We love to hate them.”
The girl by Sean’s side rolls her eyes, and he spins her around and kisses her. Sean is a ladies’ man, there is no doubt about it. He’s charming, he’s funny, and he’s good looking. He can talk to any girl, and they swoon all over him. I’m not anything like that. I don’t like talking to people, and fuck the attention that comes with it.
I’m only with Isla because she won’t leave me alone and insists that we’re a couple.
Whatever, she’s a good fuck and we have fun.
That’s all it’s about, right?
“There you are.”
Isla appears beside me, curling her fingers around my biceps and bringing her mouth up to my neck, where she kisses the skin. My dick twitches. I could use another fuck. I cup her ass, squeezing as she rubs her body against me.
“Do you want to take me somewhere, baby?” she murmurs into my ear.
“Yeah.”
We leave the party, her clinging to me and rubbing her hand over my cock. We reach the beach, and I have her down on the sand quickly. I pull her dress up, jerk her panties down, and bury my face into her pussy. I lick and suck, enjoying how she squirms and moans, how she tastes against my lips. Once she’s cried out twice from orgasm, I release her. I pull my cock from my jeans and ask her for a condom.
“I forgot one,” she says, her voice breathy. “It’s okay, though. I’m on the pill.”
Whatever.
I just want to fuck.
I bring my body down on top of hers and slowly inch my cock inside her pussy. She whimpers, clutching my back, putting her legs around my hips. Then, I fuck her. I fuck her hard and fast, my skin slapping against hers. The only thing on my mind right now is finding my release. I’ve given her her fun, now it’s my turn.
I’m selfish.
I’m cold.
I’m basically everything a woman doesn’t want in a man.
But this one keeps coming back for more.
I cum with a grunt, releasing into her. Once my dick stops pulsing, I roll off and use my shirt to clean up the mess. I can go without it. Isla uses it too, and then pulls her panties back on and her dress down. She snuggles in beside me, and I throw an arm around her shoulder, but the truth is I’d rather she didn’t touch me.