Laugh like a knife in the back or laugh hysterical like the girl running from the scary man in a hockey mask or laugh like kids being followed around the mall by security or laugh like I do when my sister, Essa, makes me the butt of the joke. See I laugh & laugh & laugh & laugh &
she say “Shut up, Curtis”
but it sounds like “Come here.”
I dunk my head underwater slow
& wait
just wait
I wait even longer
for her to say a n y t h i n g like:
“don’t talk about my friend, I don’t care how pretty your eyes is!”
But she just say “shut up”
& she l a u g h
the kind of laugh that make me forget
we even friends
the kind of laugh that make me forget
we even
& I think
I could stay here
where it’s all a blurry aqua blue,
I think
I could stay here
where my eyes
don’t hurt as much
& it don’t feel
like I’ve been looking at the sun
all day l o n g.
OKAY, SO BOOM. THIS IS HOW LAY LI & I MET.
At the end of summer, when we ready to head into the first semester of freshman year, I got a problem
with the boys who keep slapping the water. Tyrone & Adam slap the water at me
when I swim by them. Because everybody knows I’m better than them on the basketball court.
Still, I keep calm. I play cool. I see a girl at the edge of the pool. Red swimsuit & long wavy ponytail.
Her right eyebrow lifted skylike: She ready for the joke. But she ain’t laughing.
The boys slap the water. I swim under the current. I head to her side of the pool.
& so do they. They slap the water but her mouth ain’t like mine. It ain’t closed
lock-like & tight, until I’m on the court with a nasty dribble. It ain’t safety pin safe
like my grandmother taught me. Her mouth curse them until their eyes water. Her lips
curl & she cross both her arms “& you betta not do it again!” They laugh
& she don’t. This girl I never seen before got a name: Lay Li.
I wipe my eyes, stinging from the blue water. “Thank you,” I say, pretending it don’t burn.
TWO YEARS LATER & LAY LI BATHING SUIT
Is way better than mine
I hate my royal blue one-piece
It’s a hand-me-down
It’s ugly
I rather wear my basketball shorts
but they’re the only pair I got
keep dry when I walk home
Everybody who know somebody
will skip class for the pool party
& everybody will have a cute bathing suit on:
Strawberry red
or bright yellow
or periwinkle blue
or one of those two-pieces with candy cane stripes
But not me
I PUT A T-SHIRT ON TOP
& try to hide
this ugly-ass basic blue swimsuit
Mines is long in the crotch
so long the water drains slowly down my leg
after I climb out the deep end.
I put a T-shirt on top
& try to hide the history
of where my people from
the ones that got a pit bull with a chain around its neck & smoke clouds everywhere
I put a T-shirt on top
& try to hide where I come from
the kind of folks that park on the lawn & clean they car
with the Gap Band blasting out the door speakers
I put a T-shirt on top
& hope no one asks where my dad works.
Where my dad is?
Why my sister, Essa, & I always fight on the lawn?
I just want to swim
in the teal green sorta blue bubble
& forget all the things that make me different
for a little while.
BASKETBALL DRILLS #1
both hands grip the orange world
ridges in black talk back to my fingertips
James
Bird
Bryant
Catchings
Jordan
Leslie
Curry
Hammon
Jackson
Iverson
Johnson
For every letter of their name
I plant my feet aim & shoot
if I flick my left wrist perfectly
I’ll soar like the greats.
AFTER MY DRILLS
Lay Li & I both sit in the shade
on the front lawn of the neighborhood candy house
Miss Irene got white hair & a permanent scowl
She got white hair, a little white lapdog & wear a dusty muumuu
She smokes cigarettes, the white stick hanging from the cliff of her lip
Like a daredevil
Miss Irene say she ain’t got time for us kids
& don’t let nobody curse on her front yard
But she got a Costco card & charge pennies on the dollar
for our favorite sweets
We get a dollar worth of candy in a plastic sandwich bag
that we share
After my basketball drills, I walk around the barbed gate
of the neighborhood pool
I climb into the blue green water and float for days
Really I only got an hour before the pool closes
But I don’t care when I’m floating