“I’m a determined guy when I want something.” My voice was low, this flirtatious lilt to my words, and holy fuck, why had I just given Griffin my flirty voice?
“Why did you sound like that? Your voice did that smooth, honey-on-a-biscuit thing you do when you’re trying to have sex with someone.”
“Wait. You know my trying-to-have-sex voice? And that was the wrong one, anyway. I just gave you my flirty voice.”
He frowned. “That’s not much better. Why did you give me that?”
I paused, shifted. “Shit. I don’t know. It just happened.”
“Well, don’t do it again. It’s strange.”
“You really are a bossy motherfucker, and don’t worry, I have no plans to.” Of course, I hadn’t intended on it in the first place, but that was beside the point.
“Good.”
“I agree.”
“Glad to hear it.”
“We’re really weird,” I said, and we both dissolved into laughter. A few people looked our way again, but I ignored them. Griff was still chuckling, his head tilted down, this half grin on his masculine face.
It was strange, when I thought about it, the way my friendship with Griffin had changed since Kell and Chase got together.
“Did you eat?” he asked when our laughter died down. Griff’s didn’t offer much of a menu, but they had a small kitchen in the back and a few choices of greasy bar food.
“Nah, I’m good. Thanks, though.”
He stood there for a moment, and suddenly things felt a little awkward, like we thought we were supposed to say something, but neither of us knew what that was. Our gazes held, and damned if the back of my neck didn’t tingle, which should not have been happening at all.
He cleared his throat. “You, um, seen Kellan since the barbecue?”
“No, but we talked on the phone. He’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him.”
“Yeah, I know,” Griffin replied. “I’m having lunch with him this week.”
“That’s good.”
The unfamiliar, thick silence enveloped us again, before someone walked up to the bar. Griff made drinks, and I tried to keep my eyes off him. A few people came in, and he got a little busy. Every once in a while, I’d look over at him as he talked or laughed with customers. He knew what most everyone wanted to drink before they asked, and they all enjoyed talking to him. Griff was good about that kind of thing. I teased him about being grumpy, and in some ways he was, but he also drew people in, probably because they could sense Griffin cared about other people in ways not many did.
“Jesus Christ,” I mumbled before finishing my beer. My brain had done a whole hell of a lot of contemplating weird-ass shit lately, and I was ready to be done with it.
My phone buzzed, so I pulled it out. It was a text from this guy I got together with from time to time. He lived about half an hour away, but he said he was driving through Havenwood and had a couple of hours free, and wanted to know if we could get together.
An orgasm never hurt anyone. I hadn’t hooked up since our trip to Richmond, and even that I’d cut short. All I’d done was dance and make out with the guy before feeling strangely guilty and hitting the brakes.
Just as I was about to reply, Griff returned. “Want another beer?”
“Nah, I’m good. Might head out and meet up with this guy.” He looked like he’d sucked on a lemon, and I chuckled. “Show me how you really feel, why don’t you.”
“I don’t feel anything. I just don’t… You know what? Never mind.”
He didn’t what? I really wanted to know what he almost said.
I tugged some money out of my wallet and set it on the counter for him.
“I, um…before you go, I was just wondering. That offer? Does it still stand?”
I’d just started to move to my feet, but paused midway, cocking my head slightly. “To go away?”
Griff rubbed a hand over his face. “Yeah. No worries if you changed your mind. I’ve just been thinking about it, and I could use it—a break. I thought about going somewhere by myself, but then I knew you were looking for a little trip too, so I figured why not? But again, no pressure. It’s not like I can’t go by myself.”
I sat back down. “Fuck that. You’re not getting off that easily. You’ll probably just do boring shit if you go without me. I’m not letting you be boring.”
Griff shook his head, but the right side of his mouth curled up. “You’re not that fun.”
“That’s not what I’ve been told.”
“Because I’m the only one who doesn’t lie to you.” He was wiping down the counter, bending over to get the edge, which brought him closer to me.
Leaning forward, I grinned. “You think I’m fun, Griffin Caine, and nothing you say or do will make me believe otherwise.”
He trembled. Holy fuck, I was close enough to see him tremble, and why in the hell did making Griff shaky cause me to feel the same way?
I sat back on my ass.
“I take it back,” he said. “I don’t want to go anywhere with you.”
I shrugged. “Too bad. You’re stuck now.”
Griff had to pour another beer. I took a minute to shoot off a quick text, saying I was busy and maybe next time.
We spent the next hour discussing possibilities for our upcoming trip.
CHAPTER FOUR
Griffin
What in the hell had I been thinking?
I’d been obsessing about the fact that I’d agreed to go on a trip with Josh. The thing was, I couldn’t figure out why I was freaking the fuck out. I had no reason to. Josh was a friend. I would have gone with Chase, Knox, or Law, had they asked, so why was going with Josh any different? It shouldn’t be. There was no reason for it. So I decided there wasn’t, and chalked it up to my feeling weird about a whole lot of things lately, particularly the way life seemed to be moving on without me. I was in the same place I’d been in what felt like forever. It had never bothered me before, not really.
It bothered me now. I felt like there was something I needed or something I was missing.
It was my day off, and I was having lunch with Kell. We were going to Mr. Tom’s. It was our favorite diner to hit up when it was just us, likely because we used to go there with our parents when we were kids. It was where we’d come numerous times after they passed. Where I’d taken him as a child for treats when he’d been sad.
It was where we’d sorted things out when we talked about him and Chase, and also where he’d given me those three terms I’d never heard before—demisexual, asexual, and aromantic.
My brother was already inside, sitting in a booth toward the back. I walked over and slid into the seat across from him.
“Hey, you.” Kellan smiled. “I ordered you a soda.”
“Thanks.” I didn’t have to look at the menu to know what I wanted. When the waitress approached, we both ordered a burger and fries. When she left, I said, “So, marriage and a baby, huh?”
“Are you sure you’re not mad at me for not telling you first?”
I mulled over my words before replying. Was I mad? No, I wasn’t. I felt left out, but that wasn’t something I was willing to share with Kellan. What kind of brother would I be if I took this moment away from him? I needed to sort this out myself, not drag him into it. “No, Kell. Why would I be upset?”