“Asshole.”
“Learned from the best.”
“Wait. Did you just call me the best?”
He opened his mouth to reply, but then Kellan started speaking. “Chase and I have an announcement to make.”
I frowned, wondering what he was talking about. It wasn’t often, or hell, ever, that Kell kept something from me.
Chase cleared his throat. “Things have been crazy around here the last couple of years, but the one thing I’ve always been sure about is Kell. We’ve been watching Cal and Knox, and…I realized I wanted that. Kell always knew he wanted a family, but, yeah, now we both do. Natalie has agreed to carry the baby.” Kellan nudged him. “It’s a long process, so nothing will happen overnight, but we wanted to tell all of you first. At some point, Nat will be pregnant and we’ll be dads.”
I felt Griff stiffen beside me, which meant he hadn’t known about this either. Kell and Chase were allowed to have their secrets, of course. It made sense they would make the decision together before telling anyone, but I had to admit, there was a dull ache in my chest that I hadn’t known this was something they were considering. If I was feeling it, I couldn’t imagine how much Griffin was.
“We wanted to ask Nat before we told you guys, but as soon as she agreed, we planned this,” Kellan rushed out. “And, um, that’s not all.” He turned toward Chase and lowered down to one knee. Holy shit. Was this happening? “Chase Hawthorne, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’ve loved you my whole life, and—”
“Yes.” Chase tugged Kellan to his feet, answering the question before Kellan could ask it. Then they were kissing and crying, and when they pulled away, Kellan’s shaky hand pushed a ring onto Chase’s finger.
Everyone was clapping and congratulating them, but Kell’s eyes searched for Griffin. They moved toward each other, almost as if in slow motion. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you first. I just…”
“Shut the hell up and give me a hug,” Griff told him, which Kellan did. “I’m happy for you. You know that,” Griff added as I watched the moment between them. It was intense, the way they were looking at each other, and I had to avert my gaze, feeling like an interloper.
“Mom and Dad…”
“Would be too,” Griff said, hugging him again. They pulled apart, and Kell came for me next as Griff and Chase hugged, slapping each other on the back.
“Daddy Kellan, huh?” I asked with a grin.
A smile split his face from ear to ear. “And future husband. Listen, I didn’t tell you first because…”
I shook my head. “Because it was something special between you and the man you love. You don’t need to apologize to me about that. Come here.” We hugged. “All I know is, I better be your best man.”
“Always. Also, you’ll be Uncle Josh,” Kellan said, and for a moment I felt strangely sad. Not because I didn’t want this for him, and not because I had feelings for him or anything, but…well, because things were changing. Before, we’d all been young and single and only worried about having fun. It wasn’t the same anymore. Kellan was going to be a dad and a husband, and Griff and I would be uncles. “I love you, Josh.”
“I love you too.” Inexplicably, my eyes were drawn over his shoulder to Griff and Chase.
We pulled away, and everyone toasted the news. I congratulated Natalie as well. She was the best kind of friend to do this for them. They weren’t going to use her eggs, apparently, so that would be part of the process they started first. They’d use a donor, but once that was sorted, Natalie would basically be the oven for nine months.
The laughter continued for the rest of the evening. Griff was chatting and laughing right along with them, and while I could see his happiness for his brother and best friend, there was something else brewing under the surface too.
Sadness.
His eyes found mine for a second, and it was there, clear as day, but then he turned away, and oddly, I felt like I’d lost something. Whatever it was, I wanted it back.
CHAPTER TWO
Griffin
I didn’t know what it was about Kellan and Chase’s announcements that had me so twisted up. My emotions were like that game with the paddle and the ball on the string. They didn’t make sense and were all over the place, the tether getting all tangled every time I thought I got a handle on them. What was the deal with that game, anyway? Was anyone actually good at it?
On the one hand, Jesus, I was happy for them. In a lot of ways, Kellan’s and Chase’s best interests had always been the most important things in the world to me. Sure, those two truths used to be two separate entities, but now they were entwined. Kellan and Chase both had everything I always wanted for them, so why was there a part of me that felt like a puppy who’d been left at home alone and had nothing better to do than sit around and wait for their people to come back to them?
It was fucking ridiculous. And embarrassing.
Maybe I’d feel better tomorrow.
I’d left their place a little over an hour ago, grabbed a bottle of whiskey, and was now sitting on my back porch, drinking from the bottle. Even though I owned a bar, I wasn’t much of a drinker, at least not hard alcohol. I enjoyed a good beer, but rarely enough for even a buzz.
“Boo!” came from behind me just as I was about to take a drink. It almost tumbled from my hand before I got my grip, and I looked over my shoulder to see Josh standing in the doorway leading from the kitchen to the yard.
“What the hell are you doing here? And why are you in my house?”
He sighed, came outside, and took the chair beside me. It was pitch black in front of us, the sound of frogs and crickets breaking through the night as moths fluttered around the light on the porch.
“I would think the reason I’m here is pretty obvious. To see you, unless you can think of some other reason I should be here?” When I only grunted in return, he added, “And I was in your house because your truck is out front, but when I knocked, you didn’t answer.”
“So you let yourself in?”
“Damn straight, though not really straight at all.” He winked, and I rolled my eyes.
“That was cheesy.”
“Yeah, but I got you to smile, grump-ass.”
Damn it. Fucking Josh was right. I was smiling. I didn’t meet his eyes. The thing was, it had been hard to look at him ever since that night this summer when I’d realized the man I’d met for sex looked like him. He’d had the same wavy, chestnut-colored hair, both messy and sort of floppy. The same long, muscular frame, similar angular features, sharp, skinny nose, and high cheekbones. He hadn’t had that damn Marilyn Monroe beauty mark like Josh did, and maybe his lashes weren’t quite as thick, but—Why in the fuck was I thinking about his goddamned eyelashes? What in the hell was that shit?
I tilted the bottle back and took another drink.
“Gimme that,” Josh said, and I handed him the bottle. He took a long swig and passed it back. We sat there for a while, in the quiet fall evening, lulled by the sounds of Virginia nights.
I swallowed down some more.
“It’s weird, huh? Kell and Chase?” he finally said.