I bust out laughing. “You literally never say that.”
She shrugs. “Well, I do now. Figure it out and jump on it. Get laid for the both of us.”
I stand up and move to go to the back room to work on today’s orders, but while I work, I can’t help but wonder if she’s right.
Would being with Logan now feel as good as it did all those years ago? Would it feel better? Worse? Different at all? There’s only one way to find out. But that way scares me. Am I ready to be with another man? I like the idea of it all but there’s been twenty years between us. He isn’t the same guy he was. I guess before I know anything, I need to get to know him again, the man he’s grown to be. And he needs to get to know me, the woman I am, not the girl I was. I’m no longer concerned with college classes, lip gloss, and dates. Now, I’m a woman who has a full-grown daughter, a business to run, and a messy life to figure out.
Eight
Logan
I wake in the morning with a big smile on my face just from remembering how close we got last night. I sit up to crawl out of the tent, and my back is stiff and screams in protest. I groan needing to stand up and stretch it out. I’m getting that living room livable today. I can’t take another night on the hard ground. The flooring I ordered should be in today, and the walls are painted. My plan is to install the flooring and hit up the furniture store to buy a couch with a pull-out bed. That way, I’ll at least have a decent place to crash while I finish up the rest of the house. I go for a shower, and while I wait for the delivery, I get to work with cleaning up the kitchen.
I take everything out of the cabinets and put it all on the countertops while I clean out the cabinets. While the wood dries, I wash the dusty, dirty dishes that were left behind. After everything is washed, dried, and put back in its rightful place, I fix the broken cabinet doors and start cleaning the countertop. I work my way from the top of the room to the bottom of the room, ceiling to floor. I get lucky and find a dolly in the garage, which I use to take out the old refrigerator and stove.
While I sit in the backyard eating a sandwich for lunch, I order new kitchen appliances. Not only will it make the house sell for more, it will help me out while I’m living here. I’ve been so preoccupied with fixing this place up and running into El that I haven’t given much thought to my plans when I’m done here. A beach sounds nice, maybe a quiet island in Hawaii where I can live off the land and bathe in the ocean every morning, spend my days hunting, fishing, and gardening. A simple life where I can live out the rest of my days enjoying time spent on the earth rather than working myself to death just to survive. With the money I have now and the money I get for selling this house, I should have more than enough to live the rest of my life if I do so wisely. What more could a lonely guy ask for?
I hear the sound of a truck out front, and I walk around to the front yard to find the UPS truck parked against the curb. He greets me as he lowers the pallet of flooring to the ground.
“Let me help,” I insist, grabbing a few boxes of the flooring and carrying them inside the front door. The delivery man makes the run, setting each box on the front stoop, and I move them into the house until we’re all done.
“Thanks.” I wave him off after the last load.
“Have a good day, sir,” he replies, climbing back into his truck.
I look at all the flooring I have to install and rub my hands together, ready to get to work.
A little while later, I have about half the living room floor done as loud music fills the room around me. I’m elbow deep in work, keeping my head in the game with only one thought: get it finished. I spin around when someone lowers my music. It’s El.
“I knocked, but you obviously couldn’t hear me,” she says, walking farther into the living room. Her eyes glance around, taking in the room. “I haven’t been in here in so long. It looks different.”
“Yeah, I painted over the old, wood paneling and ripped up the old carpet.”
“Can you show me the rest?”
“Yeah,” I nod, getting up off my knees. I walk her back toward the entryway and down the hall. “I’m going to be putting the same flooring in here,” I say, opening the door to the small bathroom. “I painted in here, but that’s pretty much all I plan on doing. The floor, while outdated, is still in good condition, and everything works.” I step out and walk farther down the hall to the kitchen. “I just cleaned in here. The cabinets are in good shape, and so is the floor. I’m just going to put a new fridge and stove in here and call it good.”
She spins in a circle, taking in the place. “What about upstairs? Is it weird walking back into your old bedroom?”
I laugh. “I haven’t even been up there yet.”
“What? Really?”
I nod.
“Let’s go.” She holds out her hand, begging me to take it.
I look from her, to her outstretched hand, and back. Her eyes are shining, and her lips are turned up in the corners. I can’t resist, so I slide my hand into hers. She leads me back down the hallway and up the stairs. She leads me straight to my door and pushes it open.
Stepping into this room with her, it’s like a time warp. I’m seventeen again, sneaking her up here to make out without my dad finding out. The room is exactly the same. Everything is a little dustier and dirtier, but nothing has changed. There are still posters hanging on the walls even though they’re curling up on the edges. Some have even fallen down or are only hanging on by one corner. My twin bed is still in the same spot with its red-checkered bedspread. My dresser, desk, and bedside tables still hold a mess of papers, books, CDs, and trash. Hell, there’s even an old empty beer bottle knocked off onto the floor. It’s safe to say that Dad didn’t open this door once I left.
“So weird,” she mumbles as she walks over to my desk, looking down at its contents. She picks up a piece of paper, smiles, and then hands it over.
I take the paper and look down. It reads: I will miss you, but we’ll be together soon. Love, El. The ink is pink and it’s fading but still visible.
“I wrote that the night before you left. Remember that night?”
Do I remember that night? It’s burned in my memory.
“Do you think your dad knows I’m up here?” she asks as I cradle her naked body against my chest.
A puff of air leaves my lips. “I’m pretty sure he saw you walking up here. But I’m leaving tomorrow. There isn’t much point in trying to keep us apart now.” I press my lips to her shoulder, slowly kissing my way up to her neck.
“For a minute, I almost forgot what tomorrow will bring,” she replies, wrapping her arms around my neck.
I move until I’m on top of her. My hips are between her parted legs, and my face is only an inch from hers. “Don’t think about tomorrow. Stay here, right here in this moment.” I close the space between our lips and kiss her like it’s the last time. Our kiss turns rushed and heated, and my body comes alive as I press against her center. She lets out a whimper as I push myself forward, sliding into her, right where I’m meant to be.
Just thinking about that memory has my body exploding in tingles. God, that seems like forever ago but also just yesterday at the same time. Her eyes are glazed over and hooded as she watches me with her parted lips.