I shake my head and grind my teeth together, silently vowing to beat the shit out of him if I ever see him again. “Where is he now? You said you’re getting divorced?”
She nods. “He’s in London with the woman he’s been seeing behind my back. He works there and lives there.”
I take a deep breath. I can’t believe he did this, and all so he could end up hurting her anyway? “Can I get his number? I have a few things to talk to him about.”
She lets out a short giggle but nods her head as she raises the bottle to her lips. “I can’t believe this. We could’ve been made for one another, and we got cheated out of our lives by a guy we both trusted who ended up screwing us both over.” She laughs.
“I’m going to kill him,” I think out loud.
“He’s not worth the effort, Logan.” She holds up the bottle of wine and I take it, downing a big swig.
I swallow it down and turn to face her. Her eyes lock on mine, and I see can the reflection of the fire dancing in her irises. “You have to know that I would’ve come back for you. I loved you, El. There’s never been another that even came close to you.”
Her lips part, but nothing comes out. Her eyes fall down to my lips before slowly moving back to my eyes. It feels as if we’re being pulled together. Her scent engulfs me, only clouding my head more. We’re only an inch apart now. I can practically taste her sweet lips already. Just as her eyes fall closed and I’m about to press my lips to hers, her phone rings.
Her eyes pop open, and she pulls the phone from her pocket. “Hello?” she answers, still looking at me with as close as we are.
“Yes, honey. I’ve already taken care of it. There’s a check at home waiting for you. It’s on top of the mantel in the living room.” There’s a pause. “Swimming? I don’t know, Erin. I have to work tomorrow, and I don’t want kept up by a pool party.” Another long pause. “Okay, you and Emily. That’s it. Okay, I’ll see you at home.” She hangs up the phone, but the moment between us is gone.
“I’m sorry. I should probably go. My daughter is needing…” Her sentence breaks off as she stands up. “But thanks for answering my questions. Hopefully, it helps us both to put things in the past.” She holds up her hand and waves goodbye before walking across the lawn and exiting through the fence.
I can’t do anything but sit back and watch her walk away from me for the second time today. Each and every time she walks away, it breaks my heart just a little more. How could I have ever believed Tom? It was a miracle I managed to stay away from her as long as I did, and that was only because I was telling myself it was in her best interest. How am I going to keep my distance now that’s she’s only a few blocks away?
If she wanted to be with me now, she would’ve stayed right? But she took the first excuse she could to get away from me. That has to mean something. If she wanted that kiss, she would have left the phone in her pocket. But she was looking for an out and she found it.
I run my hand through my hair and let out a long breath. My chest feels hollow, missing the most important piece of me. I’m sure she just took my heart with her, or maybe she’s had it all along. It’s been far too long since I’ve felt that strong beat in my chest.
Seven
Ella
My heart is racing as I’m walking away from him. We almost kissed. If it hadn’t been for that phone call, I’m sure we would have kissed. Would we have been able to stop after just one kiss after all these years of longing? Just the thought alone is enough to have every muscle in my body tightening to hold off the flood of yearning that’s been consuming me for all these years. I feel almost giddy and excited. My time spent there with him wasn’t nearly long enough. I want more. I need more after this long of a wait. Deep down, even when I was happy with Tom, I’ve always believed that I was meant to be with Logan.
When Erin was born, I wished that he could have seen her. When she turned one, and then two, and then all the birthdays to come, I wished he was there by my side. When my mother passed away and Tom was the one holding my hand, I wished it was Logan. When I got married, I almost left the church, knowing that I should’ve been marrying Logan and not Tom. In the happiest moments with Tom, Logan was still there, in the back of my mind.
But now, Tom is out of the picture, and at the same time, Logan is back. Maybe this is fate giving us a second chance. Maybe this is where our story really starts. Maybe I’m not finishing an old chapter. Maybe I’m starting a new one.
When I get home, Erin and Emily are already here, and judging by the sounds of loud music, splashing, and squealing, they’re already in the pool. I walk up the drive and head in the front door, locking it behind me. I set my things on the island in the kitchen and walk out the double glass doors that have been left open. The patio lights are on, lighting up the dark outdoor area.
“Hey, Mom,” Erin says.
“Hi, Mrs. West,” Emily says, waving from her spot in the deep end.
“Hi, girls. I’m just going to get cleaned up and get to bed. I need that music turned down and the squeals to stop, please.”
“Will do,” Erin says, getting out of the pool and grabbing the remote to turn down the music.
“Honey, is Emily staying the night?”
She looks over at Emily, and she bobs her head. “If it isn’t too much trouble, Mrs. West.”
I roll my eyes. “You know it’s not. Please lock the patio door and set the alarm when you come in, sweetie.”
“I will, Mom,” Erin agrees, diving back into the pool.
I head back inside and straight upstairs to shower and get ready for bed. Forty-five minutes later, I’m clean, bare of all hair, lotioned up, and got my skin routine done. I go to my walk-in closet to get dressed.
I pull on a pair of panties, some shorts, and a tank top to sleep in. I brush out my hair at my vanity in the walk-in closet. As I’m sitting and tugging at the tangles, I catch the reflection of a pink box at the top of my closet. I put the brush away and go to pull down the box. The top is dusty, and I’m careful not to touch it against my clothes as I sit with it on the floor of my closet. Even though it’s been over twenty years since I’ve opened this box, I know exactly everything I’ll find inside.
I pull off the top, and the first thing that I see is the corsage I wore to our senior prom. The flowers were once full of life and beauty, but now they’re old, dried up, and brown. I gingerly set it aside, careful not to crush it. There are pictures of Logan and me in high school, from prom, football games, and random times spent together. Then I find pictures that I took after he’d gone. Things I wanted to be sure to tell him about when I saw him again. At first, I took a lot. Pictures of things that reminded me of him. There’s one of me at the age of eighteen. I’m holding up the calendar that said it was our anniversary. There’s one of me at the pizza shack we always used to go to. We’d always get a shake with two straws. The first time I went in there alone, I ordered a shake and it came with two straws, so I took a picture of me, drinking the shake with the second straw hanging out of the glass.
There are pictures of our friends from the parties I went to without him, pictures of Tom and me together, his two best friends at the time. Looking back now, I can see all the ways Tom manipulated me. I didn’t see it then. Didn’t or couldn’t… maybe even didn’t want to. I’m not sure. But knowing the truth now, it doesn’t make any of this any easier.