“No, I didn’t. This is mine,” I say, lifting it up and taking a much-needed swig straight from the bottle. “I want to know why, Logan. Why did you leave me the way you did? Why didn’t you come back? Why didn’t you call or write? Why?” The words leave me in a rush that I can’t hold back, and when they finish, I feel breathless as my heart beats wildly out of control. His eyes level on me and his jaw flexes. Then he takes a deep breath and motions toward the bench.
Six
Logan
I look up when I hear the sound of my gate being opened. The sun is starting its descent from the sky, but there’s more than enough light to see her clearly. She’s breathtaking, even to this day. She’s wearing a pair of short black shorts and a white long-sleeve top that looks light and airy. She has the sleeves pushed up to her elbows, and it has a wide neck, so it hangs off one of her sun-kissed shoulders. She’s wearing these pumps that make her long, tan legs look good and shapely. God, what I wouldn’t give to feel them wrapped around my hips again.
I want to laugh when I see that determination in her eyes and the bottle of wine in her hand. Then she stops just before me and I make a joke, but it seems like I’ve only reminded her that it’s there. She takes a swig and finally asks all the questions I knew she would.
I take a deep breath. “Want to have a seat?” I motion toward the bench I dragged out of the garage. She looks from me, to the wooden bench, and back. I wonder if she remembers how many times we made out on this thing.
“I can’t believe that thing is still here,” she says, moving to take a seat. She takes a drink of her wine and looks up at me.
I sit down, wiping my sweaty palms down the front of my jeans. “So, what have you been up to these last twenty-two years?”
She snorts. “Really? Still not going to answer my questions?”
“I will,” I promise, “but first, I want to know how your life has been. Get to know one another again.”
She rolls her eyes. “My daughter just graduated and will be leaving me in the fall, and I’m going through a divorce. So, not great as you can imagine.”
Okay, first things first. “You have a daughter? That’s great. What’s her name?”
“Erin.”
“Where’s she going to school?” I’m honestly interested in her life and the woman she’s become. I’m not the same kid that left here. I don’t expect her to be the same girl I left.
“Harvard to become a lawyer. She’s really smart… and beautiful. She’s a good girl, and I couldn’t have asked for a better kid.”
“You only have the one?”
She nods. “Yep. Tom was never around long enough to make a second. Not to mention, I didn’t want to raise two kids on my own, so…”
“Whoa, wait.” I have to wrap my head around this. “Tom? My old best friend, Tom?”
She nods with her eyebrows raised. “Yeah, Tom West. My name is Ella West. Didn’t you know?”
I shake my head. “How would I have known?”
She takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “After you left, and after your dad passed away, Tom was the only one who you’d talk to. He was the reason I knew you were still out there and not dead or something.”
“Tom never told me, but it all makes sense now…” I mumble more to myself than her. I stand up and start pacing. She watches me, confused. I can’t answer her questions right now because I have questions of my own. Why would my best friend do this to me? I talked to Tom a lot. He’s the only one whose advice I’d listen to. He’s always considered me more of a brother than a friend. Why would he lead me in the wrong direction? Was it all over El? Was he secretly in love with my girl and I didn’t even know it? Did I waste the last twenty-two years of my life because he wanted what I had?
“Logan, what’s going on?” she asks, but her voice is off, like she isn’t buying this load of bullshit I’m trying to sell her to get out of answering her questions.
I stop my pacing and turn to face her. “Fuck, I’m sorry, El,” I breathe out as my hands come up to rub my eyes and temples. I fall back onto the bench at her side.
“What? Just tell me,” she demands.
I nod and take a deep breath, trying to figure out where I should start. I guess at the beginning. “When I left here, El, I had every intention of keeping our promise. I thought that you’d stay back one more year, that we’d spend every break together, that you’d be joining me the following year, and we’d spend our lives together.”
“Then what happened?”
“My dad died,” I state. “It really fucked me up. After losing my mom at such a young age, my dad was all I had. I had this plan to go to college and get my degree in business so I could come back and run the store for him. We knew he was sick and that he wasn’t doing so good, but nobody saw his passing coming so soon. So when he died, I didn’t know what to do. His lawyers contacted me and stated that the business had to be sold because it wasn’t left to me in his will yet since I didn’t have a degree. It was to be sold to pay off any money that he still owed, like the house. He wanted to leave this place to me so I’d always be able to come home, even if he wasn’t here. When I lost him and lost the business, I lost everything. I thought, what’s the point in staying in school when everything I was working for is gone now?
“So, I ended up skipping a bunch of classes, staying out, and drinking. I failed and dropped out. I was prepared to come home to you and tell you everything, that I’d fucked up. I ruined our future, our plans. But I talked to Tom, and he told me that after all the months that I’d been AWOL, that you’d moved on. That you’d finally forgotten about me and was over me, but he wouldn’t tell me who it was with. He said it would only make things worse for me and that if I loved you at all, that I would leave you alone to finally be happy. So that’s what I did. I joined the military and have spent the last twenty-two years moving up in the ranks. But I thought of you every step of the way, El. I had no idea that Tom was manipulating me to get to you.” I turn to face her, and she seems to be staring off into space, thinking over my words.
She nods. “When you left, Tom started hanging around me a lot more. He’d come into the flower shop just to talk. He said you made him promise that he’d keep an eye on me.”
“I did,” I confirm.
“So when your dad died and you stopped calling and writing, I didn’t know what was going on. I asked Tom if he’d heard from you, and he said that the two of you talked nearly every day. He said that you were having a hard time dealing with his death and that you just didn’t have it in you to deal with me. As time passed, our friendship grew, and every time I brought you up, he’d say something more and more horrible. Things like you wanted to break up with me, that you had found someone else, that you didn’t want me anymore. You weren’t there to argue your point, so I had no choice but to believe him. The last time I asked about you, I cried and he kissed me. After that, things between us just blossomed. We went from friends to dating to getting married and having our daughter.”