You’d think I’d just be able to throw my marriage away and jump into Logan’s arms. I mean, hey, we’re meant to be, right? But that’s not how I feel. I wonder about what Erin would think. She doesn’t even know about the divorce yet, and what kind of woman goes from signing divorce papers to immediately sleeping with another man? What would the town think? I always hated when my mother would say things like that, and now here I am, saying them. But honestly, my business is in this town. If I tarnish my reputation here, I could lose everything. And for what? A quick fling with an old love, someone who left me and didn’t come back until twenty years later?
If Tom finds out about Logan, will it make him want to change the divorce papers in any way? Will he be angry and suddenly want to fight over my house and shop? Is it too late to change any of that now that I’ve signed the papers and mailed them? I don’t know. I don’t know any of the answers to the millions of questions I have. All I know is that deep down, that young girl who was desperately in love with Logan still exists. I just wonder how strong she is after being silenced for all these years.
Sleep doesn’t find me easily. I keep thinking about the divorce, breaking the news to Erin, and the fact that Logan is back in town and we almost kissed. I love my daughter to the moon and back, but girl has some bad timing. If she could’ve waited five more minutes… We may never know.
In the morning, I wake up and get ready for work, wearing a pair of skinny jeans, my favorite white tennis shoes, and an oversized white T-shirt with a breast pocket. I leave my blond hair down since it’s curled into nice natural beach waves from me going to sleep with it wet, and I finish the look with a little bit of makeup to brighten my eyes. I head downstairs and find Erin already up, eating a bowl of cereal while watching TV.
“It’s summer. Shouldn’t you be sleeping in?” I joke.
“Still stuck on school schedule,” she responds, not taking her eyes off of something on MTV.
I sit on the opposite end of the couch and take the remote, hitting the pause button on the TV.
“Hey,” she whines, finally turning to look at me.
“We need to talk.”
She reads the seriousness on my face and sits up straight. “What’s up, Mom?” She places her bowl of cereal on the coffee table and gives me her full attention.
“I’m sure this won’t come as any more of a surprise to you as it did me, but your father has asked for a divorce… and I think it’s for the best at this point.”
Her mouth drops open and her eyes get wide. “A divorce? Really?”
I nod. “You’re not a child anymore, Erin. Surely, you see that he’s never here. He missed most of your life. And with you leaving for college, I’m going to be all alone. It’ll be good for me to move on, too, and find someone who wants to be with me.”
The corners of her mouth begin to turn up. “Mom, you got the hots for some guy in town?” She nudges me.
I laugh. “No, I haven’t checked out a man in I don’t know how long. I’ve been married. But now, I’m single and who knows. I might find me someone special. Someone who will stay around.”
She picks her cereal back up. “I think it’s great. If you’re happy, I’m happy.”
“Really?”
She nods. “Wait, am I going to lose my car?”
I laugh and smack her knee. “No, of course not.”
“What about the house? Is Dad taking it in the divorce, or are you planning on selling it to split?”
“Nope, the house will be mine. He’s taking his London apartment.”
“So, nothing will really change, other than Dad won’t pop in every six months?”
“Pretty much,” I confirm.
She shrugs. “Then I think it’s great.”
I stand up, kiss her head, and say, “I’m grabbing some coffee and I’m off to work.”
“Bye, love you.”
I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time as I drive to work. I have the support of my daughter, and my horrible marriage will be ending soon enough. Not to mention, Logan is back, and I get to explore that option as well. Things are finally looking up just when I thought they were falling apart.
The moment I walk into the shop, Lisa is all over me. “So, how’d it go? I’m dying to know.”
“Can I at least set my things down before you attack me?”
“Fine. Sorry,” she says, backing up and waiting until the exact moment I no longer have my coffee and purse in my hands. “So, how’d it go? Did you guys make out like you were eighteen again?”
I laugh and shake my head. “What? No! We totally would’ve, though, had Erin not called at the perfect time. Ugh, that kid has always had horrendous timing,” I joke.
She grabs ahold of my wrists and pulls out two wooden stools. “Tell me everything. Leave nothing out!”
I roll my eyes. “It’s really not that exciting.”
“I’ll be the judge of that,” she states matter-of-factly.
“Well, here’s one thing I did find interesting. It turns out that Logan never meant to leave me and not come back. Tom had told him that I’d moved on and was seeing someone else, but he wouldn’t tell him who. With Logan out of the picture, that was when Tom started asking me out.”
She gasps. “So Tom totally broke you two up and kept you for himself. Oh, that’s low… even for Tom! Have you called him out on his bullshit?”
“No, what’s the point? What’s done is done. There’s no going back and changing things now.”
“So, where does that leave you and Logan?” Her eyes are wide, like she’s watching a dramatic scene play out on some soap opera.
I shrug. “That’s when he told me that he’s always loved me and there’s never been another like me before or since. We started moving in for the epic kiss, and my phone rang. It was Erin, so I left.”
“Ugh! God! Talk about a cliffhanger. So when does act two come into play?”
“What the hell, Lisa? This isn’t some TV show or book. This is my life, and I don’t know. I want to explore my feelings for Logan, but at the same time, I feel like I just need to take some time for myself. I mean, my daughter will be leaving soon, my twenty-year marriage is ending, and I’m still not sure where I see myself alone in a year, let alone in another relationship. I just… I need time.”
“Twenty-two years isn’t enough time for you to figure out how you feel about this guy?” Lisa argues. “He’s hot. Hotter than anything you’re going to find around here. You better scoop him up before Tammy does.”
Ugh. Tammy. I hate Tammy and have always hated Tammy. Tammy is a woman who Logan and I went to school with. She was always trying to seduce Logan into hooking up with her when I wasn’t looking. He never did, but that didn’t stop her from trying. If she finds out he’s back in town, I’m sure she’ll try luring him in just like she does every other single, sexy, or divorced man around here.
“God, Lisa. Don’t fucking jinx me like that.”
She giggles at the use of my F-bomb. “Time’s a wastin’, honey. Shit or get off the pot. That’s what I always say.”