“Yeah, you too.”
Dad texted me. Hey, little man. Mom just wants a final head count. Emerson is coming with Lizzie?
I stared at the message and wanted to ignore it. They can’t make it.
Oh, that’s too bad. Maybe we can have them over tomorrow before we go? Have a little Christmas celebration?
My dad was being a pain in the ass. I think they have plans. Don’t worry about it.
Alright. My dad left it alone.
I went back to work.
But he texted me again. Everything alright?
How did he pick up on that through a message? Yes. Just busy.
Because I feel like there’s something wrong, Derek. You’re sure?
Yes, I’ll talk to you later.
4
Emerson
I took Lizzie shopping for last-minute gifts for her grandma and grandpa. She made a little money throughout the year doing chores around the house and the occasional fund raiser at school, and it was sweet that she saved her limited funds for Christmas presents at the end of the year.
She walked through the store and sighed to herself. “Ugh, shopping is hard.”
I moved with her, my hands in my pockets. “Grandma and Grandpa will like anything you get them. Don’t stress about it.”
“No, I already know what I’m getting them.” Lizzie stopped in front of a display of mugs. There were different logos on each of them. Best Teacher of the Year! Best Dad! Best Boss! “I’m looking for something for Derek. What about this?” She grabbed the best teacher one.
I froze in place, and like a wrecking ball swung right at me, it broke me into pieces, ripped apart my stomach, left me as physically destroyed as I felt emotionally. I cupped my mouth and sobbed instantly, right in the middle of the store, really feeling the pain I’d tried so hard to fight.
Lizzie was so shocked that she dropped the mug on the floor and the handle chipped off. “Mom?”
I couldn’t even stand. I lowered myself to the bottom of the display shelf and sat there, breaking apart right in front of my daughter, hit so hard by her gesture that it killed me. It killed me that he’d left me. It killed me that my daughter loved him, and he’d left her. It killed me that we’d spent Thanksgiving with his family, and now he’d abandoned us for Christmas.
“Oh my god…” Lizzie moved beside me and wrapped her arm around me. “Mom, what’s happening right now? You’re crying… You never cry. What’s wrong?”
I cupped my hands over my face and did my best to slow my breathing, but it was useless. I couldn’t bring myself to a level of control. I was just too heartbroken to see reason. I sobbed in the middle of the store. “Derek…broke up with me.”
Lizzie was still, staring at my face, watching her mother cry. “Oh…”
I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself, to get my shit together and not look like such a weak person. I only displayed strength to Lizzie so she would be strong as she went through life. But now, she had to witness a meltdown. “I’m sorry…” I forced myself to close my eyes and hold my breath for a few moments to get the tears to stop. Then I turned to her.
Lizzie was crying too. “Mom, it’s okay.”
Seeing her cry made me cry. “Honey…” I knew she wasn’t crying because Derek was gone. She was crying because I cried, because it hurt her to see me like this, to see me break apart for the first time in her whole life.
“Mom.” She wrapped her arms around me and held me in the store, crying with me, sobbing beside me, holding me when I had no one else to hold me. She was there for me when she shouldn’t have to be, because the man who was supposed to be there decided to abandon me, to hurt me beyond repair, to hurt me the way the world had hurt him.
Lizzie stopped reading his books.
I hadn’t asked her to do that.
She didn’t ask about him either. She was overly nice to me, doing her chores and my chores, making me dinner, being positive instead of complaining like she usually did. She snuggled with me on the couch.
She was the best friend that I needed.
I had thought it many times in the last twelve years, but she really was the best thing that had ever happened to me.
My phone lit up with a text message…from Deacon.
I assumed they knew what happened by now, but his message said otherwise. Emerson, I feel like Derek has been a bit off lately. I know that his rocket was unsuccessful, and I expected him to be a little distant because of that…but is that all it is? Is it because of the wedding?
I read the message many times, my eyes filling with tears because I would miss them both so much. They were so loving and warm, and I really could picture them as my in-laws, as Lizzie’s grandparents.
I almost didn’t text him back. It was just too hard.
Derek hadn’t told them the truth, and instead of hoping it was because we might get back together, I knew it was just because he didn’t want to talk about it. He never wanted to talk about anything. Derek broke up with me a couple weeks ago.
The three dots didn’t pop up.
He probably needed some time to process what I’d said.
He didn’t text back.
But then he called.
His name appeared on the screen, the display lighting up the living room.
I walked into my bedroom and took the call. “Hey…” I sat at the foot of the bed in the dark, the sound of the TV still loud from the living room.
Deacon spoke with concern. “I had no idea, Emerson. Derek didn’t mention this.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.”
“Why?”
“He just doesn’t like to talk about things.” My eyes watered as I listened to his voice because he felt like a father to me, a father-in-law I would love to have.
“You’re right…he doesn’t.”
“So…” I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to say goodbye. I loved his parents. “I’ve really—”
“Can we come over?” Deacon asked. “Cleo and I have presents for you and Lizzie, and we would love to spend some time with you. We’re leaving for the cabin tomorrow. I asked if you and Lizzie were coming, and Derek said you had plans… Now I realize that was a lie.”
“I…I would love to see you. But I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I’m just…” I closed my eyes and felt the tears run down my cheeks. “I’m going through a really hard time, and I just don’t think—”
“You’re still family to us, Emerson. I don’t know what happened, but I think I have an idea. And if my son has chosen to be an idiot, that doesn’t mean we can’t choose to see you. Please.”
I was touched he wanted to come over here and spend time with us, to comfort us instead of running to his son. He knew his son had abandoned us both, and he chose to step in and be there for us…because his son had failed. “Okay.”
“Great. We’ll be there soon.”
I opened the door and looked at Deacon and Cleo, who both stood there with presents in their arms, bundled up in their coats because it was freezing tonight. Seeing their faces made me feel better, but also made me feel worse in other ways. “Come in.”