Then came the speeches.
I didn’t prepare anything because the idea of talking about two people spending their lives together seemed asinine to me now. I was a writer, so people probably expected me to speak some amazing prose, but I really had nothing to say at all.
I stood up, grabbed the mic, and surveyed the people staring at me.
Kevin sat with his fiancée, and he looked at me with one eye.
Tabitha had her eyes glued to my face.
The speech I’d made at my rehearsal dinner was disastrous, and I didn’t want to repeat that. I wanted to at least get this right. “Loving someone is the most painful and vulnerable experience you’ll ever have. It’s about trust, about finding the right person to keep your heart safe. Most of us don’t have success with that, and those that do are the luckiest people in the world. You guys are two of those people.” I raised my glass. “To Ryan and Camille.” Then I sat down and released the air from my lungs, relieved the final part of the night was over and I could finally duck out and leave and never have to worry about seeing Kevin and Tabitha again.
At the first opportunity, I made my exit.
I walked up to Ryan and said goodbye first. “Congrats, man. You married up.”
“Hell yeah, I did.” He smiled. “I’m having a great time, but I’m excited to go home and really make her my wife.” He waggled his eyebrows.
“Good plan. I’ll talk to you later.” I turned away.
“Whoa, you’re leaving?”
I came back to him, wearing an apologetic look.
His disappointment slowly faded when he understood my feelings. “Drive safe, alright? And thanks for what you said in your speech. But…I think you’re going to be one of those lucky people too. Where is Emerson, by the way?”
I didn’t want to tell him the truth and start a whole conversation about that. “She had an emergency with her daughter, but she sends her regards.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, her daughter just has an ear infection, and they had to go to the ER.” I made up a lie, remembering when I’d had to go to the ER because that had happened to me one time. “And I gave my wedding present to Camille. Ask her about it.”
“Oh, I will.” He pulled me in for a hug. “I love you, man.”
I clapped him on the back. “I love you too.”
I left through the house then made it to the road. My car was parked far away so I had a bit of a walk to get there, and the cold air was the perfect touch against my warm skin, in my heavy lungs. My hands slid into my pockets.
Then I heard the clap of heels on the road behind me.
“You’ve got to be kidding me…” I turned around to see Tabitha walking quickly to catch up to me. “Fuck…” I quickened my steps so I could get to the car and take off before she could reach me.
“Derek, wait.”
I spun back around and stared her down. “Jesus fucking Christ, what do you want from me?” I threw my arms up because I didn’t know how to shake these two idiots. I couldn’t punch her in the face like Kevin, so I didn’t know how to get rid of her. “Ryan and Camille told you to leave me the fuck alone. You can’t just respect their wishes for one night? For their wedding?”
“The wedding is back there. It’s just you and me.” She slowed down and stopped in front of me, looking into my face with a wide range of emotions.
“What the fuck do you want from me? If I write you a check for a hundred thousand dollars right now, will you fucking disappear?”
Her eyes fell in offense. “I don’t want money from you—”
“Then what?” I gripped my skull because my head was about to explode. I was sick of this circus act, of the two of them coming at me with no sign of deterrence. “You said what you wanted to say last night. So, what new information could you possibly bestow on me right now?”
She was quiet.
“Exactly.” I turned around and kept walking.
She grabbed me by the arm. “Derek.”
I quickly spun around and pulled my arm free. “Don’t fucking touch me. Because I’m a man, I don’t get the same respect that you get as a woman? You’re fucking harassing me, following me to my car, bothering me when I want absolutely nothing to do with you. How the fuck is this fair? You want me to call the police?”
“Look…” She raised her hand to silence me. “I just… Please listen to me.”
I slid my hands into my pockets. “I don’t seem to have a choice in the matter, so…”
She was quiet for a while, like she was thinking of exactly what she wanted to say. “We were all such a close group of friends, and we lost that the night…that everything happened. I understand that you would never give me a chance again romantically. I don’t blame you for that—”
“Never fucking ever.” I didn’t even find her attractive. I was disgusted by the idea that I’d ever fucked her and actually enjoyed it.
“But I would hope you could give me another chance as a friend… Kevin too.”
“You’re fucking crazy—”
“We were all such good friends, and we both still miss you all the time. It doesn’t feel right not having you there. You’ve ostracized yourself, with the exception of Camille and Ryan, but that’s not right. And you…seem unhappy.”
“Right now? Yeah, I wonder why.”
“In general. From what we see on TV and in the news. You aren’t the buoyant and upbeat person you used to be. And Kevin and I think it’s because of us.”
“Well, it was pretty traumatizing, Tabitha. To lose your fiancée and your best friend on the same night, to be humiliated like that in front of literally every person you know. I’m not the happy boy I used to be because I got a reality check that night. People are evil. You and Kevin are evil. I trusted you implicitly, and you stabbed me in the back.”
“I know…and I’m so sorry for that.”
“I don’t want your apology,” I said quietly. “I’m over it.”
Her eyes shifted back and forth as she looked into my eyes. “It doesn’t seem like it…”
“You don’t know me, Tabitha.”
“No, I don’t know this version of you. But I know the boy I grew up with. You’re not the person you used to be.”
I was getting really irritated with that psychological evaluation. “What do you want? I’m tired, and I want to go home.”
“I want you to forgive us. And I want to be friends again. We’ve never forgotten you, and you’ve clearly never forgotten us—”
“I’ve got enough friends, alright—”
“The guys you go out and party with?” she asked. “That’s not the same, and you know it. We just want you back, Derek. I know it’s a lot to ask for you to forgive us—”
“Why would I forgive you? I have no interest in forgiving you—”
“Let. It. Go.”
“Fuck you.” I turned around and continued to walk off.
“Derek.” She walked after me. “Please…we want us to be friends again.”