Home > Closer to Nowhere(13)

Closer to Nowhere(13)
Author: Ellen Hopkins

   “Hey, man. Move.”

   He doesn’t, so I go around him.

   I’m so focused on catching the action

   that I don’t notice where I am.

   Bam! I bump into the judges’ table.

   Still trying to hold on to the shot,

   I don’t see whoever grabs the back

   of my shirt and yanks. Hard.

   “Leave me alone! I’m just trying

   to get a video!” Now it’s ruined.

   My heart races and blood throbs

   hot through my veins.

   You can’t be here! yells the man,

   who turns out to be security.

   “If you can, I can!” I fight

   to hold my ground, but a couple

   of coaches start pushing the guy

   and me toward the exit.

   The competition has halted and

   I notice Hannah, who’s crying.

   All of a sudden, Uncle Bruce appears.

   He’s puffing like he just finished a sprint.

   He grabs hold of my arm,

   tugs hard. Let’s go, Cal.

   I jerk away. “Don’t touch me!”

   The phone flies out of my hand, smashes

   against the floor. “Look what you

   did!” I shout at Uncle Bruce.

   What I did? His face is the color

   of overripe cherries—blotchy purple.

   Take it easy, Bruce. Aunt Taryn

   is cool and calm as an April breeze.

   She retrieves her phone,

   and pushes between the men and me.

   They let go, but I stay rigid,

   fists clenching and unclenching.

   Aunt Taryn looks me straight

   in the eye, and it could be Mom

   standing there, shaking her head.

   Disappointed. In me.

   We should leave now.

   I drop my gaze to the floor. “Okay.”

   Now I glance over at Hannah.

   If scowls could kill, I’d be in my grave.

   She’s steaming. Sorry, I mouth.

   Aunt Taryn puts an arm around

   my shoulders, steers me away.

 

 

FACT OR FICTION:


   The Judges Will Let Hannah Start Over


   Answer: *shrug*

   I chance looking back

   as we start toward the exit.

   Hannah’s coach says something

   to her. She nods, and Coach

   goes over to talk to the judges.

   I have no idea what the rules

   are, but they have to let

   her go again, don’t they?

   It was the security guy’s

   fault, not Hannah’s.

   Guess crying messes up

   a girl’s makeup, because even

   from here I can see dark streaks

   running down Hannah’s cheeks.

   When the light hits them

   just right, they glitter.

   Her team has gathered

   around her, watching

   Misty wipe Hannah’s eyes

   and face with a tissue.

   I turn away, and as the big

   door closes behind me,

   I hear “On Top of the World”

   start again. One good thing.

   But there’s plenty of bad

   to get sorted out, with me

   right in the middle.

   Aunt Taryn directs me toward

   her car, and when we get

   there, she opens the front

   passenger door.

   You can sit up here. Just

   don’t fiddle with stuff, okay?

   She knows I like to push

   buttons and see what they do.

   I’ve been a “fiddler” since

   I was little. Mom told me

   I learned how to use a TV

   remote before I could walk.

   “Whatever you say.”

   She starts around the car,

   pauses, then says,

   Oh, no. I left my jacket inside.

   Stay here. I’ll be right back.

   I sit, not touching anything,

   trying to quiet the noise

   inside my head. It’s loud.

   Tiny explosions of anger

   sizzle like sparklers.

   It wouldn’t take much

   to turn them back into

   a major display of fireworks.

 

 

Definition of Runner-Up:


   Not Quite the Best; Non-Winner


   So, yeah, the judges agreed

   to let me start over. I tried.

   But when the music began,

   I’d lost my stride. The tumbling

   passes were good enough,

   but my dance was stiff

   and I forgot to smile.

   Small dings against my final

   score, but enough to keep

   me well out of first place.

   It’s so not fair.

   Our last event of the rotation

   is the vault. Straightforward.

   Sprint down the runway.

   Hit the springboard.

   Land hands on the vault table.

   Push off into a pike somersault.

   Stick the landing. And repeat.

   I’ve practiced it hundreds

   of times. Don’t even have to

   think about it. I lift an arm,

   signaling I’m ready. Off I go.

   Full speed down the runway.

   But now I see my parents.

   Not clapping. Not cheering.

   Arguing.

   I lose

   concentration

   momentum

   velocity.

   And it all goes wrong.

   Not enough

   speed

   spring

   straightness.

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