“Right. Biomedical engineering,” Lili says. So, she was paying attention.
“That’s right,” I say pleased. “Notice I didn’t tell you where I went to school because I know you aren’t interested in learning about anyone on a personal level.”
I look over at Alessa and she winks back at me.
“True. Thanks for not getting personal,” Lili says. “I’m guessing you’re at some expensive private college.”
“Am I that obvious?” I laugh. “I got a full ride.”
Lili nods and she eyes her sister briefly.
“That’s impressive.”
“She had a partial ride at school, but she gave it up last year,” Alessa breaks in.
Lili cuts her sister a death look. “Alessa, don’t push it.”
“I’m just trying to help you,” Alessa says.
“I don’t need your help. I don’t need anyone’s help. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along,” she informs her sister.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt your day,” I apologize to the sisters. “Nice to see you again. Take Care.” I swim off. At least Lili didn’t want to bite my head off. That’s making headway. The moment I think the thought, it surprises me because I knew I was attracted to Lili, but what I didn’t realize was I wanted to get to know her better. I can tell she’s been through something hard because she seems to be struggling, and it’s nice she has a caring sister by her side. I know I wouldn’t have made it this far without Declan.
Lili clearly has her guard up, which will make getting to know her difficult. Maybe that’s the whole point. She’s presented me with a challenge. She may be trying to dodge me, but suddenly I want to be the one who does the chasing. There is something exhilarating about the feeling that I can’t seem to get when I’m home in Westfall. The girls there make it all too easy for us. I don’t know if Lili is attracted to me in any way, shape, or form. Although we did have a moment when I first knocked into her when she fully checked me out. I’m going to take that as a win. I’m also going to try and get to know that vixen a little better. Game on, Lili. Challenge accepted.
TWO
Liliana
“Is this the person you want to be?” Alessa asks, watching me with concern in her eyes.
I don’t answer but I feel the prick of tears behind my eyes.
“What person?” I ask, my voice shaky.
“An angry person who is mean and snaps at perfectly nice people,” Alessa says.
Her words hit me at my heart center. Last year on New Year’s, I caught my boyfriend of three years having sex with my good friend. When I called him out on it, he admitted to sleeping with her for months. What stung the most was, over Christmas, we spoke about getting married for the first time. I thought Tristan and I were the real deal. Meanwhile, he was sleeping with one of my good friends. Hazel may not have been my best friend, but we were close enough. All of us were pre-law in Boston, and we had been a part of the same friend group since our freshman year.
“That guy is sweet and nice, and I don’t know why but he’s taken a liking to you,” Alessa continues.
“I don’t know about that. I mean, who even knows if he’s being honest. He says he’s a biomedical engineering student, but did you see the muscles on that guy? I’d have my money on him being a jock,” I say to my sister.
Alessa bites her lip. She’s been a great big sister my whole life. I chose Boston U because she went there, and I wanted to be close to her.
“I’m worried about you, mija. Tristan has caused you to lose your trust in people. How do you ever plan on moving forward?” she asks as we wade in the water.
“You don’t understand. Hazel was my friend, and Tristan and I were talking about marriage.” My voice cracks as those words make it feel like a dagger is piercing my chest.
“You never told me you two were talking about marriage.” Alessa frowns.
“What was the point? A week later I found him balls deep inside her in the bathroom at a New Year’s Eve party at our friend’s house.” This is the first time I’m revealing what happened to a person in my family. Mama and Papa kept pressing me when I came home about the reason I broke up with Tristan, but the most I could tell them was he cheated. The details were too painful to confess. The only people who knew what happened were with me at the party. Some of my other friends were there to catch me when I fell. Later, I learned most of our friend group either knew about the affair or had some idea it may have been going on, and they chose to keep me in the dark.
Alessa uses her arms to push herself toward me and then she is enveloping me in her arms. “I’m so sorry.”
“Most of my friends knew about the affair and didn’t warn me,” I whisper to her. It wasn’t only Tristan who hurt me, it was my friends too. The people I thought had my back.
“That’s why you didn’t want to go back there,” she says, as if she now has the last piece to the puzzle.
After what happened on New Year’s, I didn’t want to go back to school. I felt shattered and my parents sent me to a therapist. I was able to take the semester off due to mental distress, but it wasn’t enough. I didn’t ever want to go back. I transferred to a new school but the transfer wasn’t made on time, so I had to wait for the second semester to start.
I shake my head. “I don’t ever want to see any of them again.”
Some of them have reached out since that night. They’ve left me messages apologizing and saying how they should have said something, but I don’t have any forgiveness inside me to give.
“You’re getting a fresh start now. You can’t go throughout life not trusting people because of one bad situation. I get that you loved Tristan, and he was a big douchebag, but not all men are bad and not all friends are shitty,” Alessa says.
“That’s easy for you to say,” I reply to my sister. “Your boyfriend is perfect.”
“There’s no such thing as perfect,” she says, releasing me from her arms. “Nigel and I disagree on a lot of things. There are things about him I find annoying. Mama would tell you the same of Papa.” Thinking of my parents makes me frown because Papa works all the time and Mama never complains. It isn’t a situation I would ever want, even though I know my father is loyal and loves us all very much.
“Okay, so the two good men in this world are taken. I’ll just be happy to finish my degree and then apply to law school,” I say. Because I took the semester off last year and then wasn’t able to start school the following September, I have a full year to make up. It also put off my plans of applying to law school for a full year. Truth is, it worked out for the best because I wouldn’t have wanted to be in the same year as Tristan at Harvard.
“And having a career you love is amazing, but you need a partner to share this life with. It scares me how hostile you’re being to men,” Alessa scoffs. “I’m sorry for bringing it to your attention, but it’s true. You’re so negative and closed off. It’s not a way to live.”
I blow out a breath. The months after Tristan cheated on me were very dark. Slowly I came back to myself and went to work in a law firm in Boston as an assistant. I was basically a gofer, but it will be good for my resume later on. I also stopped spending full days in bed because of the job and started working out and eating healthier.