“Would it have been too much for you to break up with Harry? To have told Noah how you felt?” Mohammad asks.
I wipe at my eyes. “I could have ruined their friendship.”
“Haven’t you anyway?”
I shake my head to myself. “No. I secured it. Because now, they can both hate me. Neither of them will forgive me, which is why you shouldn’t either.”
“You’re not going to come say goodbye, are you?” Mohammad asks sadly.
“Why aren’t you mad?”
“It’s a lot to process. I will be at some point; don’t worry.”
“I won’t come to say goodbye,” I reply. “It’s best if I stay locked in my room until my flight tomorrow. I don’t want to cause more destruction.”
“Yeah, well, I’m sure I’m going to have to do damage control anyway. I called Noah. He didn’t answer.”
And I know he’s asking me if I know anything.
“He’s at the pub with his dad.”
“Well, that’s one way to get over a broken heart,” Mohammad says.
“I don’t think they’re drinking,” I clarify.
“Well, they should be. Hell, I’m going to need one after today.”
“I’m sure Harry will appreciate the company.”
“You know, I can always tell Harry you’re sorry.”
“No. Don’t. Just … take care of him,” I say hesitantly.
I don’t want Mohammad to make things better. Or right. I just want him to be there to support Harry.
“Always do,” he replies, his words hanging in the air. “You didn’t have to do that today.”
“I know.”
“It was a mistake.”
“I know.”
Mohammad clears his throat. “Text me from the States?”
“I will.” I nod to myself. And before I have a chance to overthink it, I say, “Bye.”
“Bye,” Mohammad replies as I click End on the call.
Just forget about them.
6:40pm
By the time I hear the front door open and close, it’s dark out, and I have just about everything packed and ready to go.
Footsteps echo up the stairs, and they pull me out of my thoughts. The floorboards in the hallway creak as someone walks down it, passing my room.
Noah.
I listen as he shuts his door. I sit down on my bed, pulling my legs up to my chest. I don’t know what else I expected.
This is Noah’s house.
I knew he would eventually come back. That I wouldn’t be alone here for long. But the idea of sitting here, a wall separating us, it makes me feel sick again.
I take a deep breath in before slowly letting it out, trying to lower my heart rate.
His door opens again, and then I hear him walking past my room and back down the stairs. I move to my own door and open it slightly.
I peek my head out and look down the stairs and into the living room.
Noah’s standing in front of his mom and Gene, dressed in a thick sweatshirt and joggers. He’s holding a soccer ball in his hands.
“I’m going to go practice,” Noah says.
“You just got in,” Helen replies unhappily.
“Mum,” Noah pleads.
There’s a moment of silence before Gene speaks, “Let him go.”
“You’re just going to the football field, yes?” Helen asks. “And then you’re coming straight back?”
“Yes, Mum,” Noah groans back.
“Helen,” Gene says, hearing the tension in Noah’s voice.
“Is anyone meeting you there?” Helen continues, not taking the hint.
“No,” Noah answers.
“All right,” Helen sighs. “Go on then.”
A moment later, the front door opens and then closes. I drop down onto the ground, letting my head rest against the doorframe.
“He needs time,” Gene says to Helen.
“I wish I had advice for him. For Mallory. I wish I could tell them that they could work this out,” Helen replies.
“I didn’t realize that there was something going on between them,” Gene admits.
“Oh, Gene. I rather think you wouldn’t have noticed unless they came out and kissed right in front of you in that chair of yours,” Helen says back. “And even then …”
Gene lets out a quiet laugh. “Even if my nose were stuck in a good book, I think I’d notice that one.”
“Well, you weren’t the only one who didn’t see it. Poor dears. And Harry, the love. I’m sure he’s as wrecked about this as the two of them.”
My insides twist at the mention of Harry.
“They’ll manage it somehow,” Gene replies.
“How was he?” Helen asks, her voice serious.
“He was rather quiet. Obviously upset. And Mallory?” Gene asks.
“The same.”
“Well, it’s only a fight,” Gene offers.
“A bit more than that, dearest, but I appreciate the optimism. Now, shall we make some dinner? She barely touched her lunch.”
“Noah was the same,” Gene says with a pause. “We can’t fuss over them.”
“We can, and we will. It’s our job.”
I smile to myself at her resolve.
“You’re a good woman, you know that?” Gene says warmly.
“You got terribly lucky, didn’t you?” Helen says back. I can practically see her smiling.
“Terribly lucky,” Gene repeats.
Their voices stop, and I hear them kiss. A tear rolls down my cheek at their words.
At their exchange.
Because of how much they care for Noah.
Because of how much they care for me.
I push my door shut, making sure to be quiet. I don’t want them to know that I was listening.
My phone buzzes on the bed. I get up off the floor and walk over to see my dad’s name on the screen. I let the call go to voice mail and text him.
Me: Hey Dad. Sorry. Busy night, packing and all.
Dad: I’m sure it is. Your mother and I are very excited to see you.
Me: Me too.
And I am. I miss my parents. I miss my dad. I think seeing them, being back in New York, will be a good thing. I’ll be back there tomorrow, and I can pretend like my heart didn’t shatter here.
I’ll pretend I had a great time. It’s for the best. I’ll be gone from London, and my parents will get happy to be home Mallory.
I’ll lie to them.
To Anna.
To myself.
I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep the charade going. Eventually, they’ll find out.
Noah was right.
I’m easy to read.
And at some point, I’ll slip.
If it’s not my expression that gives me away, then I’m sure the principal will on Monday. I can already picture myself sitting in her office, mortified. I like my school’s principal, Mrs. Richards. But she’s going to take one look at my failed exam and record of being in the headmaster’s office three times in three weeks and faint.
Because I’m not that girl.
I excel.