“Let me look at it.” Ella was behind the camera watching a replay. “I like it. I think we are a wrap for this one. Go get warm while we set up for the next.”
Hale followed me out of the water, and we were handed coats. He pulled his tightly around him.
“Your lips are blue,” he said when he turned toward me.
“Let’s get inside.”
We headed into the staging house we’d rented with the location. Craft services was set up inside and it was filled with people milling about.
“I need to get out of these clothes.” Hale rubbed his hands together.
“You and me both. But do we need them for later?”
A production assistant came over. “We need to get them dry for your next scene.”
Both of us started to drop our pants. I glanced over and Hale stood there in briefs. I told myself not to look, but he was distracted by handing them over and stripping off his coat for a robe. I swallowed and told myself to look away. He glanced over.
Caught.
Fuck.
I met his gaze and he raised a brow. I acted like nothing had happened. I wasn’t even sure in my own head what was happening.
“Let’s go find some blankets before we have to go back out there,” I said, acting as if nothing had happened.
“At least we don’t have to go back into the water.” Hale seemed normal. Maybe he hadn’t actually noticed where I’d been looking. I needed to talk to Ella about more than the water.
“True. Hopefully Ella is actually happy with the scene. I’ve had her make me redo parts.”
“I may shoot myself if I have to go back into the water.” He re-tied the robe. “What are we shooting next?”
“I think you have time,” I said without really knowing that. “I think I’m up next. I’m going to go find out.” I forced myself out the door and into the cold, which in retrospect was a terrible idea sans pants but I had to talk to Ella about what was in my head.
I had to tell someone what I was dealing with. If I didn’t tell Ella, I was going to blurt it out to Hale or anyone who would listen. I was tired of carrying this grief. It was like poison in my veins.
Five
HALE
Had he been staring at my dick? I had to be wrong. He was married and straight. And not like actor straight, he was ‘there has never been a single rumor about him hooking up with men’ straight. He’d been married for ten years, too, which in Hollywood might as well be a hundred for as often as people broke up, moved on and got married again. Happily married from the look of their Instagram.
They were that couple who posted on Instagram, laughing when bad rumors came out as well, because what actor wasn’t connected to every actress he played across from? Tabloids loved to speculate who would be the next Brangelina. And since sensationalism sold about a trillion mags, who really blamed them?
The more I thought about the entire interaction, the more I was confused. Quell had been unlike himself when he’d walked outside to talk to Ella. I knew they were friends, but still. He’d seemed more off as days passed. Someone said Rachael usually traveled with him. Maybe that was all it was. I wanted to ask him to have a beer, to try and be there for him. But I wasn’t sure how he’d take it coming from a gay dude. He was the type of guy I’d be friends with, but I was bad at this whole making-friends thing.
Ella entered, blowing into her hands. “Why is it so unseasonably cold?”
“It’s never warmer in Vancouver.” I’d been here a few times and all of them in the winter.
“Yes, it is. April is tolerable at least.”
“It’s all too cold. I need Southern California.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re going to have to get used to it. What doesn’t film here?”
“There is always Georgia,” I joked. Like I’d get chosen for a superhero movie.
“More power to you if you do. You have the face for it and after this…” She shrugged. “But believe me, this is better than the heat and humidity in Georgia in the summer.”
“You’re probably right.” As I spoke, her words hit me. This could be my big break. I’d been so focused on not screwing it up that I hadn’t really processed it. “I never thought I’d be here, so I’m taking it as it comes.”
“You know he’s already sold the second season before anyone’s seen the pilot, and he wants to secure a third when he delivers the pilot.” She gestured with one hand outside.
“He does?”
She nodded with her whole body and then returned to blowing in her hands.
“Isn’t the pilot done? Why hasn’t anyone seen it?” I asked, as that’s the way it typically worked.
“He doesn’t want anyone to see it before the first season is done.” She leaned against the wall. “He has the clout to do it, too.”
“You think?”
“He sold it this way.” She glanced around. “There is a hot tub out there. I say we get in it.”
“Where?” I looked over her shoulder.
She pointed.
“I don’t have a suit.”
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t think either of us is interested in what the other has, if you know what I mean. I’m going in this tee and shorts I brought.”
“I only have this.”
She raised both her brows and dropped her gaze down my body. “You don’t even have pants on and when you had them on, they were see-through. Take the shirt off and let’s go.”
I blinked a few times. “They were bad, weren’t they?”
“Yes, they were. It’s my literal job to know how the shot looks as the director of photography.”
“Let me guess, it was on purpose?” I glanced at myself and my mind went to Quell. Was that really what he’d been staring at? Did it even make sense? He hadn’t been staring at my bulge, he’d been looking at my fucking see-through pants.
“Maybe a little.”
“Why the fuck do I have to wear see-through pants?”
She headed toward the hot tub. “Take it up with Lil, the costume director.”
“Hell no. She’s scary. I put on what she asks me to and then I shut up.”
“Good idea.” She held the door for me to pass through. “She’ll stick you with a pin and then put you in the most ridiculous pieces for months if you question her.”
“Short but terrifying. I knew it.” I stared at her. “You tell me.”
“I’m sure it’s because you’re hot and we want fans. The same reason we keep having Quell take his shirt off and why your shirt is open in every single scene. But I’m the director of photography, not Mel. He knows how to do this. It’s not my job.”
I looked down at myself. I was in good shape. I wouldn’t call it gay dating app fit, but I worked out and was lean.
Ella stripped off her sweats revealing shorts underneath. I shed the robe figuring everyone had already seen it. What was the point in hiding it? The cool wind bit into my skin as I tossed the robe over a chair. I was having PTSD about the water as I climbed over the side but as soon as the heat sunk into my skin, I knew this was a good idea. It warmed me through as I took a seat on the bench across from Ella.