“The first.” It was better not to lie to the director because the second you did, they were going to bring up some tiny detail and you’d be lost.
“Perfect. Take a minute. Get into it. Read the page and we are going to film it to watch later so Quell can see how the chemistry was.”
What. The. Fuck. Now I was having a panic attack. I didn’t want to be that queen, but I was about to freak out.
“Good luck,” Mel said as he turned, answering his phone.
“Thanks,” I muttered in the midst of trying not to lose my shit all over Quell.
I’d come in to read for a reoccurring side character and somehow was reading for the lead. My knees went weak. It wouldn’t even be hard. Sehver was the pirate king, but he was also a well-dressed, fluid dandy. He was everything I’d wanted in an anti-hero as a gay kid. I’d loved him in the book. I was instantly drawn to him, down to his mid-century royal style which was a mix of Gatsby and sort of a Victorian era king.
Then there was the chemistry with Quell’s character. Prince Flint. It was a Stockholm-esque slow burn, and the scene was what seemed to be from a much later episode. Lord give me strength. I read through the page until the words started to bleed together. I wasn’t going to have to fake the spark. Who wouldn’t be attracted to Quell?
“Shake it off.” I glanced over to find Ella still standing there.
“What?”
“You have a chance, don’t blow it. I’m the director of photography. I look at people all day long. You will be beautiful on film. Don’t let your nerves blow this for you,” Ella said. “Plus you got my dry humor. Most don’t. Don’t stick me with one of those other schmucks who have been reading today.”
Did she call me schmuck? Didn’t that mean…foreskin? I didn’t have more time to process her words before I was called over.
“Are you ready, Hale?” Mel asked.
I nodded, swallowing hard. Ella gave me a thumbs up, and then mimicked slitting her throat which I was taking as she would kill me if I messed this up. I didn’t know if I wanted to hug her or stab her. I guess I’d see how the reading went.
“Which scene did you give him?” Quell asked Mel.
Mel smirked and it might have been the light, but it looked like Quell went a bit red in response to Mel’s look.
“Sorry about him. He has to see chemistry.” As Quell talked, the people around us faded. Maybe this wouldn’t be so hard.
“It’s not bad. I hadn’t seen this bit of the script,” I said. “Just some lines.”
Quell raised both his brows. “Turn the sheet over.”
I did and dropped it.
“I swear I’ve been chewing mints all morning.” His smile. Fuck.
Hell. I didn’t have words. I couldn’t human at this moment. I knew what happened in the book. I mean their romance was part of the reason I’d loved the book so much, but I didn’t connect when Quell had said Mel needed to see the chemistry.
“If you’re not comfortable kissing a dude…” He was deflating.
“No.” I laughed awkwardly. “Kissing dudes, totally fine. I didn’t know that’s what he wanted to see. I actually relate a lot to Sehver.” Why was I still talking? Shut the fuck up, Hale. “Let’s do this.”
It was cool. I was going to make out with the hottest straight man in the world. Not a big deal. My cold sweat said otherwise, but we were going to ignore it. If I could tell younger gay me how things were going to turn out, he’d feel a lot better about getting the shit kicked out of him.
Quell nodded, looking me over again. Had I made him uncomfortable semi outing myself? It wasn’t a secret. I’d been out for a long time. I hope he wasn’t one of those straight guys who was fine if it was another straight guy, but the minute you said you were gay or bi it was suddenly about them.
“Let’s.”
He took a few steps away and he returned to Flint’s body language. It was an unbelievable transformation even a second time. He went from a confidant successful actor to a twenty-one-year-old depressed kid. I believed it, which made it easier for me to pull myself into Sehver’s mind.
I picked up a cane laying on a table. Sehver walked with a limp, from an old injury where he’d nearly lost his leg. In my head my left leg already ached. I let the pain take me as I stepped over to him.
“I don’t want to go back. Don’t make me return.” His hands were fisted at his sides much how a teenager would try to get his way.
“What game did you think this was?” I said, finding my voice for Sehver.
“We had an agreement. You never said you’d make me go back.”
“When your father pays the ransom, you better believe you’re going right back. You can do with your cut what you will.” I spit my words at him. In this part of the book, Sehver was attracted to Flint. “That was our agreement.”
“I can’t go back, not after living my life here.” He took a step forward. And dropped to his knees.
“You’ll do fine with a little coin in your pocket.”
“Please tell him you killed me.” Quell’s hair fell in his face.
“You are worthless. Less than worthless. I only feed men who serve a purpose.”
“I can be anything you want me to be. Teach me. Let me stay.”
I crooked a smile and leaned on my cane. “I have no use for a boy. I could train anyone I wanted.”
“And none of them would be loyal to you.” He looked up at me through his eyelashes.
“You want me to throw away what you are worth alive?”
“Please.” Quell trembled as he said the word.
The world around us left. I was in one of my favorite parts of the book. It was such a pivotal scene. I didn’t have to look at the page anymore.
“Boy, you’d have fallen in love with anyone who got you out of that dungeon. You’d have fallen in love with any prince who fought a dragon to win your ass. You’re a child and you don’t know anything of the world.”
“I want to know.” He said each word like it was of the direst importance. “I’m in love with magic.” He got to his feet, puffing out his chest. Faking the confidence he so readily had as himself, but the character was only stumbling into and trying to find a footing.
I leered at him. “And what do you think you can do for me, other than drain my energy to teach you?”
He stalked forward until our chests were almost touching. “I’m better at magic than anyone you’ve ever seen, and you know it. You want me here.”
I stared at him with indifference.
“I am the one. I can be someone. I can be who my father never intended to let me be.” His voice was filled with conviction.
“Or maybe he did his job, and you’re meant to be nothing. He’s going to live forever, and you will forever be a toy while the adults fight for a piece of the world.”
“With or without you. I am going to be someone. You let me stay for a reason.”
“You think I was going to let a payday walk away from me?”
“And you showed me my power.” He got in my face, pulling himself up as tall as he could stand. Even shorter than I was, he felt larger. It was one of Flint’s first moments of greatness. Where he was discovering who he was, and Quell brought it to life. “You saw something here.”