The vibration of my phone can be felt against my thigh. Quickly I reach inside my pocket and when I see it’s my father. I already know he’s calling to remind me of my responsibilities, my importance.
When I don’t answer he calls again and again.
Leaning back against the tree I let out a slow breath, allowing my head to relax forward as I look at the ground near my feet. Marching up to the front door of the cabin, making it known that I’m here was dangerous. I had never felt so unsettled, so confused, lost. What move is the right one? Where do I go from here?
I take in a deep breath, push off the tree and turn around fully intending to go back to my place and plan my next move when I look up and come face to face with Taryn. The same large coat she wore last night, the same oversized boots. Her face is mostly hidden behind the scarf she has wrapped around her but her eyes are completely visible. The fear in them cannot be misconstrued.
“Taryn.” I take a step toward her and quickly her hand thrusts forward.
“No! Just stop,” her words are a bit muffled but can’t be mistaken.
“Let me explain.”
“What are you doing here?” She takes a step backward, her hand still positioned in front of her. “Did you follow me here?”
I could lie, try to make up some crazy story and hope that she falls for it. But I already know my gorgeous beauty is smarter than that. Honesty its my only option. It’s what she deserves.
“I didn’t follow you, but I am here for you. I’ve always been here for you.” Her eyes crinkle at the sides and I know she is only growing more weary with my cryptic words. “I’ve been waiting every single day for you to come back to me. Since I led you back to the cabin and had to force myself to walk away, I’ve longed for the day I would get you back.”
“What are you talking about?” Taryn reaches up and jerks the scarf down, making her mouth fully visible. “Get me back? What is the hell are you talking about? Who are you?”
“I’m Merick.” I take in a deep breath and know this will be the moment that she either accepts what I am, or denies me the future I’ve dreamt of us building together. “I met you here in these very woods when you were twelve years old. And there hasn’t been a day since then that I haven’t protected you and waited for this day. The day you and I would come together again, to reconnect.”
“No.” She backs away more, and repeats herself. “You’re crazy, you have to be.”
“I’m not crazy, if you would give me a few minutes, allow me to show you what I need to in order for you to understand. To fill in all of the missing pieces of the last twelve years.” I was losing her, the fear in her eyes has overtaken everything else. “You don’t have to be afraid of me Taryn, I could never hurt you. You are the most important person in my life, please believe me.”
“I need you to go,” her voice trembles making my own chest ache.
“You remember me,” I try to remind her. I know I’m pushing her but she is going to run either way. I have to try. “Our time in the woods, the way you touched me, all the things you shared with me. Your nervous ramblings were so—,”
“Please go,” she steps back.
“Taryn.”
She shakes her head and I do nothing to stop her as she takes another step away. I know how this looks, how she must feel. Though it is one of the hardest things I know I will ever have to do, I have no other choice but to allow her to come to terms with this on her own.
I remain grounded as the distance between us grows until she’s no longer visible, but I can still feel her. I can sense her worry, her fear, but I know this isn’t over. Taryn needs time and I’ve waited for her for twelve years already. I can wait a little longer. I’ll give her a few days, and if by then I’m still left waiting, I’ll go to her once again.
Taryn
I enter the cabin in a panic, my hands trembling, my breath quickening. After I shove the couch against the door, I peek out the window in search of him. Is Merick still out there? Did I want him to be? I back away from the window and shake out my hands trying my best to rid the way they continue to shake. He says he’s my wolf, but that’s not possible, right? Wolves that can change into humans is something that just happens in the movies, that’s crazy. I’m losing my mind, I know it. This seems crazy, insane really.
I hurry around the cabin triple checking that all the doors and windows are locked before I head into my bedroom. I hold the butcher knife I grabbed from the kitchen in my hand and wonder would I even use it if the chance arose? Needing to rid myself of it, yet feeling I still need to keep it close I tuck it under my pillow and sit on the edge of the bed. Taking in one slow calming breath after another I try to calm my racing heart. I don’t know if a knife would protect me from the giant wolf that was outside my window anyway. This was all surreal. A wolf? I mean really there had to be some kind of explanation. I drank too much—not really—but for now, I would use that as an excuse to convince myself I haven’t completely lost my mind.
Instead of changing into pajamas I stay fully clothed just in case I need to make a quick escape. Mentally I try to weigh the distance between the door and my car. Wondering if I had to run would I be able to get there and inside before it all backfired. My heart continues to beat so rapidly I feel dizzy.
I crawl into bed, sliding under the covers and settling in, or at least trying to. Every noise I hear has me jerking in bed. I swear at one point there’s a scratching outside of my bedroom window, I presume each noise is only enhanced by the fear I feel. Was that a wolf that just howled?
I grab the knife and stare up at the ceiling, listening for any signs of an intruder. When the sky starts to turn an inky blue, I know the sun is about to rise. I sit up and set the knife down on the nightstand. A numb, tingling feeling runs through my palms and fingers from holding it so tightly for too long.
I am exhausted, but there is absolutely no way I could fall asleep.
After I use the bathroom, I creep out into the living room and move along the wall toward the bay window. I look out and see if I can see Merick or my wolf and I see nothing. Every move I make feels like I’m in a dream. I am still reeling from his words. Mixing that with the knowledge that I hadn’t imagined years ago that I met a wolf in the forest only complicates things more. An outsider looking in would think I belong in a mental ward. Hell, I am not far off from the observation myself.
Slowly making my way to the kitchen, I start myself a very strong pot of coffee.
I go to the fireplace and see I’m out of wood, my chest immediately feeling tight, knowing I need to go outside. “Fuck.” For a moment I consider freezing versus the alternative, only I know with the cooling temperature I won’t make it far. After five minutes of a very intense pep talk I gather my coat and boots and make my way to the door. Another deep breath and I push the couch away from the door placing my hand on the deadbolt. With a quick flip I cautiously open the door and peer outside through a crack. The coast is clear, and I open the door quickly, running toward the pile of wood grabbing as many logs as I can carry.
It takes two trips to get enough inside that’ll get me through tomorrow. I lock the door and push the couch back in front of it, feeling a little more secure than I did moments ago. After I get the fire going again, I grab a cup of coffee, and pour a healthy dose of my hazelnut creamer into it. I grab my blanket and curl up in front of the fireplace on the floor—he can’t see me if I’m on the floor. Another insane tactic, but whatever it takes to get by.