His lips turn up in the same cocky grin I saw at the club. “Does this feel real?” Merick leans down and presses his lips to mine. Our kiss is soft and gentle and the moment I try to deepen it he pulls away from me. Chuckling when her frustrated growl pierces the air between us. “All in good time sweetheart.”
This is a good time, the perfect time, my mind screams.
My eyes flutter shut and when they open again, I’m back on the porch at my parent’s cabin and I’m twelve again.
My eyes pop open and I sit up, still momentarily dazed by my dream. “What the hell?” I haven’t dreamt about my wolf in a long time. Hell, over time my dream wolf has all but faded away, a distant memory that rarely makes an appearance. Why would he be back now? So clear, so realistic. And more importantly, why would Merick be penetrating those dreams?
I climb out of bed and grab a drink of water. When I crawl back beneath the cool sheets, I notice that it’s only two in the morning. My twinkle lights are on a timer so they’re already out, leaving my apartment bathed in darkness. I lay on my side and watch shadows dance across my wall from the lights outside that peek between my blinds. When I finally fall asleep, I’m grateful the remaining part of my night is void of any further dreams.
When I finally get up the next day, I keep myself busy doing my normal Sunday chores; cleaning my apartment, doing laundry, and going to get groceries.
By the time everything is done I’m able to sit down and watch a little television. I get lost in the antics of reality television while I eat the chicken salad I made. Cleaning up my mess, I decided to pamper myself a bit. While I run a bath, I put my hair up into a knot on top of my head, not wanting to bother with washing it. I add some lavender bath salts to the water and immediately I’m met with a soothing aroma.
I wash my face and apply my detoxifying face mask that’s supposed to hydrate and minimize my pores. Once I’m all set, I climb into the warm bath, moaning in pleasure as I sink into the soothing water. Once the tub is full, I turn off the tap and lie back, allowing the water to engulf me as much as possible.
With my eyes closed I’m suddenly hit with another vision of my parent’s cabin. I can see twelve-year-old me stepping into the woods again, the beautiful purple velvety flowers I remember seeing spread out before me. They look so real almost like I could reach out and touch them, feeling the petals glide over my fingertips.
The vision is there and gone before I’m running in my mind. Feeling scared because I have no idea where I am, and nothing looks familiar. Everything intermixes, leaving me feeling confused what’s reality and what is make-believe..
My dream last night, my thoughts now, both feel so incredibly realistic. But then again, it all makes little sense too.
I remember all those years ago, feeling as though someone or something was pulling me deeper into the trees. An imaginary attraction, but that was impossible...right? The wolf I saw had to have been a figment of my imagination. Something I’d watched or read that triggered those visions.
My thoughts turn to Merick, those eyes, that warm soothing voice that blanketed me, inflicting a warm sensation throughout my body. I still can’t figure out where I know him from, he’s so familiar. It all comes down to those eyes. Where have I seen them before?
I try to shut my mind off, but the day in the forest replays over and over in my head. Since I can’t relax, I decide to get out of the tub. At the sink, I rinse off my mask and then put on some moisturizer.
After I get dressed for bed I lay down. I have to get to the office by eight-thirty tomorrow, which means I have to get up at six. I’m the office manager for an up and coming tech company. I make a good living, but I’m not happy there. I want to feel passionate about what I do. Instead, I feel stuck, like I’m just treading water.
On that note, I crawl into bed and in no time sleep claims me.
“You’ve had the same dream every night?” My best friend Lily says from across the table at our favorite cafe.
I nod. “Yes, and then I feel this sense of longing that keeps getting worse. I swear the other night I woke up having…” I pause looking around to ensure we are at a safe distance so nowhere can hear me. Then lean in closer whispering the rest, “having an orgasm.” In that dream, Merick did things to my body that I’ve only read about in books.
“I still can’t believe none of us saw him when he approached you at the bar last week.” She takes a sip of her water. “What are you going to do?”
A simple description of him is all I provided for her—tall, alluring eyes, and a tempting smile. I wasn’t completely ready to share all the details of the mystery man, his name, his words. For a little while longer I wanted to hold those things close.
“What’s next?”
What’s next, that is the magical question. I shrug. “I have no idea. I thought maybe I’d take a trip to Montana. My parents still own the cabin, and the peacefulness it provides could give me the perfect chance to get my head straight. Maybe a vacation will do me some good. Lord knows, I haven’t taken any time off since I started working at Advanced Dynamics.”
That place is enough to drive any sane person crazy.
After we finish lunch we hug and then she goes one way and I head in the opposite direction. The more I analyze it the more I think a trip to Montana may be exactly what I need. — to stay in the cabin, and enjoy the quiet away from the hustle of the city. Away from the loud traffic, the constant noise, sirens, local businesses and wildlife. Maybe being there will give me some perspective, help me to make some life changing decisions, where I want to go at this point in my life, who I want to be. Because the rut I’ve found myself in, it’s not how I want to live.
Merick
I hide in the shadows, remaining discreet as I pretend to window shop when I need to blend in. I’ve spent months watching her. Week after week, I’ve observed her life, the fast pace of the city that dances around her, looking for a sign that she is truly happy in the life she lives. I want to ensure that what I’m about to do, the life I am going to give her, is in fact a life she might find happiness in.
Only the more I watch and wait, the more I come to realize that Taryn doesn’t exude any overwhelming passion one would display when they truly are in love with the life they’re living. So many times, I’ve seen her sit in the shadows of the trees in Grant Park, a blankness on her face and a far-off distant feel from the body language she expresses. Often, I’ve found her separating herself from a crowd and observing instead of interacting. Though she tries, I feel as though something is missing. Like a part of her wants to be someplace else. I know I can fill that void in her life. I know that I can give her all the things she is missing and more.
I sit in a cafe diagonal from the technology company I know she practically runs. Each day I watch her enter the double glass paned doors and I wait, wanting nothing more than to follow her inside, ensure that she is safe, but even more than that, I want to be close to her.
The waiting gets harder each day.
There is one thing that keeps me from violating all the rules I’ve put into place. It keeps me from exposing myself and confessing that I’ve been here all along, with her every day since we met in the woods. We are bonded, almost as one. I can feel her and see her reactions before she expresses them. Taryn has been mine since the very second her eyes locked on mine, maybe even before that.