Wilder pauses the game again and turns around. “Yeah.” He rattles off an address and I thank him before heading out the door.
Once I’m behind the wheel of my car, I take a deep breath and start it. Sure enough, just like I expected, the tank is now full of gas. Even though Drake has a hidden sadness that is new to me lurking in the pools of his blue eyes, I’m thankful this part of him hasn’t changed. I leave the parking lot and head back into town. I need a job and then hopefully, I can find a place and car because there’s no way this car will pass inspection. I come to a part of town that is littered with fast food restaurants and small shops. I find a parking place and start at the first business and work my way up and down the blocks, applying everywhere I can.
Three hours later and I have officially applied at every place possible in this area. I climb back into my car and send a little prayer that I’ll be able to get a job within a few days. While I’m sitting there I quickly call my three jobs back in Mississippi, as well as the college and explain that I won’t be back. Everyone is very understanding, but I do get a lecture from the college letting me know I’ll be on academic probation for a year. I knew this. I hate it, but I also couldn’t stay there with Gregg anymore.
I decided to go and thank Drake for the gas in my car. I follow the street signs for the address that Wilder gave me. I’m surprised when I pull up to a construction site. I didn’t consider that he could be at work. I don’t know why that idea never occurred to me. I guess, because my life is in shambles at the moment, I forget that other people’s aren’t.
I pull up and park, but I don’t get out of the car. I don’t want to interrupt him while he’s working or get him into trouble. I’m sure the boss loves Drake, everyone always does. I sigh as memories from my former life come flooding back. Drake is attached to all the good ones. I’ve been so good all morning just working on autopilot to avoid the inevitable wave of memories.
My phone rings pulling me from memory lane. I grab the phone and see a name I don’t want to. ‘Gregg’ is flashing across my screen, taunting me. I take a deep breath and silence the phone. I should have never left with him. I think somewhere deep down inside of my soul I knew it would be a mistake, but I couldn’t stay here either. I know that no one aside from Zayde understands why I fled from here. I never even told Drake why I was leaving or even that I was leaving. I just packed up and ran. Looking back, I hate how I left things between us but hopefully I can fix them now. As I sit there, I think back to the last time I saw Drake before I left.
Zayde saved me. Thank god Zayde saved me. For once, I couldn’t be more thankful for his temper. I lock my bedroom door before sliding down until my butt hits the floor. The tears flow freely down my face, leaving traces of mascara and eyeliner in their wake. I don’t care right now though. Once my crying subsides, I stand up and move to my mirror where I clean up my face. I’ll never let them see me break. Once I’m put back together, I grab my phone and climb out my bedroom window and down the metal staircase that basically doubles as a fire escape. I reach the road quickly, but in the darkness and the events from earlier, make me feel uneasy.
Slipping my phone from my pocket I text Drake.
Me: Hey are you awake?
Drake: Yeah what’s up?
Me: Could you come pick me up? I’m sorry to ask so late.
Drake: Don’t apologize. I’ll be there in a few.
Me: I’m on the side of the road. I’ll be on the lookout for your car.
Drake: The road? Why the hell are you on the side of the road?
Me: Long story. See you soon.
It takes less time than I expected to see Drake’s headlights wash over the asphalt. I sigh in relief. My knight in shining armor. I don’t deserve his goodness, but I take it every time. My soul is tainted with the darkness that has plagued my life, but his is pure and makes me feel like I have a chance of being a better person.
He pulls up alongside me and unlocks the passenger side door. I climb inside. The spicy scent of his cologne fills the air between us and I inhale deeply, allowing the comfort of the familiar and safe scent to settle over me. My insides are shaking but I manage to hold my hands steady in my lap. I look over at Drake’s eyes, full of concern. “Thank you for coming to get me.”
“You know I’m always just a phone call away. Do you want some food?” he offers.
I don’t know why he even bothers to ask if he knows I’m always hungry. I nod my head. “Hell yes.”
“Like I even had to ask,” he tells me with a deep laugh. We end up at Burt’s, the 50’s themed drive-in diner, like we often do. Food and drinks shoved between us and every so often I reach over and steal a French fry. Drake laughs and shakes his head each time. It’s been our thing ever since the first time we came here to eat. I always order the onion rings but steal French fries from his order.
As the night goes on and Burt’s starts closing down, I look over at Drake. “Do you think your parents would mind if I sleep on your couch tonight?” I asked him.
“You know they don’t. My parents love you guys and say all the time y’all are more than welcome to stay anytime you want,” he tells me.
One of my favorite songs comes on the radio and I squeal in delight. “I love this song so much!”
Drake chuckles and throws the car back into park. He turns up the radio and climbs out of the car. Confused, I climbed out behind him. I watch as he walks around the car and extends a handout to me. “Dance with me.” It’s not a question, more of a demand, but one that I love. I slip my hand into his and the safety I feel is incomparable.
He leads me to the sidewalk of the 50’s themed drive-in diner, pulling up against his body. He wraps his arms around my waist and we sway along to the melody of the music. I can hear the constant beat of his heart where my head rests on his chest. I bask in this moment because I know it’ll be over too soon, but I’ll need these memories to make it through the darkness that is called my life. He spins me out before pulling me back into him. I laugh and he smiles down at me. Why can’t I just be worthy of him?
The song ends, the spell is broken and we pull away from one another. We climb back into the car and make our way to his parent’s house. Once there, he disappears into his room without another word, but reappears in the living room a few minutes later with blankets, pillows, and clothes for me to sleep in. “Thank you,” I tell him.
“You don’t have to thank me. I’d do anything for you, Zo,” he tells me, before pressing a kiss to my forehead and leaving me alone with my thoughts. I know Drake wants to offer his bed to me but I’ll never allow him to take the couch. Once I’m changed and lying on the couch, I text Gregg to let him know that I’m ready. I’m going to leave with him. I know it’ll probably be a mess, but I can’t stay here, not after what happened tonight. If I stay, Zayde will end up in jail and I’ll drag Drake into my darkness. They both deserve better. Tears burn the back of my throat and eyes.
Eventually, I make my way to Drake’s room. He’s lying on his back on his full size bed which looks too tiny for him. Before I can second guess my decision, I walk over and pull the comforter back and climb in beside his warm body. I shouldn’t do this. I’m sure his parents wouldn’t approve, but I’ll be gone before the sun comes up and I just need these final hours to say goodbye to the boy that gave me hope. Even in his sleeping state he comforts me, wrapping his arm around me. I snuggle into his chest and doze off.