My dad shakes his head and looks down for a moment. “How could that be your fault, Drake?”
I throw my hands up in the hair before running them through my hair. “Because I always saved her. What if she expected me to come and save her this time, but I didn’t?”
“So, what if she did?”
I growl in frustration at how calm and nonchalant he’s being over all this. “Why are you so calm?”
He smiles. “Because you’re wired up enough for both of us. You have to know that whatever Zoey has been through wasn’t your fault. Yes, you always ran to save her when she came to you. She didn’t come back to you last time to save her, so how were you supposed to do that?”
“You make it sound so simple.” I stare out into the darkening sky, remembering the nights that we used to lay out on the sand at the beach and listen to the waves crash against the shore and stare at the night sky while talking about our hopes and dreams for the future.
“Drake, it isn’t as complicated as you’re making it out to be. You need to stop blaming yourself. I highly doubt Zoey even blames you. She left on her own decision and now she’s back the same way. I know that it’s hard for you not to swoop in and save her, but you don’t just have yourself to consider anymore,” my dad tells me.
I nod my head. I know he’s right. Aubree comes first. She has since the moment I found out I was going to be a father. I can’t let the fact that wildcard Zoey is back. She makes quick and rash decisions and that’s not something I can bring into Aubree’s life. “Thanks, Dad.”
“Any time, Son.”
****
I carry a sleeping Aubree to her room and tuck her into her bed along with her stuffed Jack Skellington. I stop to turn on her purple night light before almost closing her door. Once I’ve showered and I’m back in my own room, I grab my phone and decide to bite the dust. I scroll through until I find Zayde’s number. I dial before I can chicken out. I’m worried that Zayde finding out that Zoey is back might break his good streak with his raging temper. He’s been doing so well for a while now that I don’t want this to throw a wrench in his new and calmer demeanor. The phone rings and rings and just when I think he isn’t going to answer, his slurred voice comes over the line with more background noise than I can handle. “What’s up, man?”
I can tell he’s had more to drink than what he should have. Maybe telling him right now isn’t the best idea, but then again, when is a good time to tell him that Zoey is back? “You’re drunk.”
“Nope just buzzed,” he replies with a laugh. “Don’t judge me.”
I sigh. “I’m not judging you Z, but you know that the bottle isn’t going to help the shit in your head right now. It’s a temporary numbing solution, but guess what it’ll all be there when you sober up, not to mention you’re on your bike and don’t need to be drinking with being on that.”
Zayde sighs heavily and I hear rustling, and then the background noise begins to fade away. “I know you’re right, but it pisses me off.”
“Of course, it does,” I tell him with a chuckle. “Plus, Aubree kind of likes her uncle Zayde all in one piece and you know…alive.”
“You’re such a smartass,” he tells me. Silence fills the line for a minute. “Listen, I’m sorry we haven’t really talked since we left on this ride, but my head has been shit.”
“Hey, don’t worry about that. I only text so that you know I’m still here, even if I’m not there with you.” I hate not being with him right now, but as much as I love the club and my brothers in it, Aburee comes first. She always will.
“Damn, dude, don’t apologize. Aubree is the light of all of our lives. I’m glad you stayed with her. So, anything new in Los Angeles?”
I swear my heart stops the moment he asks the question. He couldn’t possibly know the news I’m about to deliver. I clear my throat. “Yeah, actually there is.”
“Well, damn dude that doesn’t sound good. What’s up?”
I take a deep breath before spitting it out like word vomit. “Zoey is back and staying at the clubhouse.” Silence, complete and utter silence. This is one of those moments when you could hear a pin drop on the other end of the line.
“What?” Zayde finally croaks out.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to just blurt it out, but I was afraid I’d never say it if I didn’t. I thought you’d want a heads up before you got back.” I know I probably should have told him in a different fashion, but I didn’t know how else to tell him. Zoey being back has thrown all of us into a loop.
Zayde remains silent and if it wasn’t for the fact that I can hear him breathing I would think he’d hung up the phone. Finally, after what feels like much longer than it actually was, Zayde speaks. “Thanks for letting me know.”
“Are you going to be okay?” I ask, as worry takes home in my gut.
Zayde clears his throat. “Yeah, I’m good. I’m going to go. I’ll see you in a few days.”
The line goes dead before I can even reply. I know Zayde is about to go off the deep end. I can just feel it or maybe I’m just worried he is, either way I quickly dial Barker’s number to give him a heads up that Zayde might be a loose cannon.
When I lie back on my bed, I take a deep breath and try to sleep but images of Zoey keep playing through my head. Memories blend with my distressed thoughts of how her life has been since she left. Eventually, I get up and just pace around my room when I hear a small tap on the door. I open it to find a sleepy Aubree, hugging her stuffed Jack to her chest. “You okay, Love Bug?” I ask, and I kneel down in front of her.
She rubs at her blue eyes. “Yeah, can I sleep with you?”
I open my arms, relieved that she wants to join me. Maybe, now I’ll be able to get some sleep. “Come on.” She climbs into my arms and we get comfortable in my bed. “Did you have fun today?” I ask her.
“Yeah, but I missed you,” she tells me, as she snuggles deeper into my side.
“I missed you too, Love Bug.” Her breathing evens out and I watch her sleeping face until my eyes feel heavy. “I love you.”
Nine
Zoey
I wake up and feel well rested for the first time in so long. I’m not even sure what to do with myself. I stretch and pull myself from the comfortable bed and grab a pair of jeans and the nicest shirt I have. Today I need to find a job, one that’s within walking distance, until I manage to get some gas in my car. Once I’m dressed and feel like I look employable, I open the door to find Drake’s key to this room in the knob for me. I thought I had heard Drake’s voice and tap on the door, but I was too tired to be sure. I take the key and somehow know that my car is going to have gas in it.
When I walk into the main part of the clubhouse, I find Wilder sitting on the couch, playing some video game. He looks over at me. “Good morning.”
“Good morning,” I reply.
He pauses the game and stands up. “There’s some coffee if you want some.”
“Yeah that’d be great,” I tell him. He pours me a cup and hands it to me along with a variety of creamers. He goes back to his game while I sit at the bar and enjoy the rich, hot liquid. It’s been so long since I had a good cup of coffee. I mean, I used to get it at the diner where I waitressed, but there’s something about drinking coffee that you have to make that just isn’t as good. Once I’ve finished, I walk around and clean the mug. I’m about to head out the door when I turn around and ask, “Do you know where I’ll find Drake?”