“Well,” Frannie said. Her smile returned—this time seemingly genuine. “I’m not. Neither is Mark. We’re so excited to become grandparents.”
Caroline tried to detect the hidden meaning, tried to find the trap Frannie was setting, but she couldn’t figure out the game. She’d learned her parents double-speak long ago, how to hear what they were really saying when they lied through their forced smiles. She hadn’t learned how to read Frannie yet. From what she could tell, Frannie was sincere in her excitement.
Frannie crossed the room and clutched Caroline’s hands. “I can’t wait to spoil my grandchild.”
Caroline started to pull away, but Frannie held tight to her fingers. John had told her a hundred times how kind and generous his parents were. They were nothing like her parents, or so he’d said. She wasn’t sure how long that would last after getting pregnant out of wedlock. Surely they thought less of her now.
“And you know what?” Frannie asked. “I can’t wait to spoil you too.”
Standing a bit taller, Caroline furrowed her brow. “Me?”
“Yes, you.” Frannie released Caroline’s hand and cupped her cheek the way John liked to do. “I’ve always wanted a daughter. Now I have you and a grandbaby. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been so happy.”
“Really?” Caroline asked, barely above a whisper. She so wanted to believe her, but years of rejection from her parents kept her from trusting Frannie’s words.
“Yes. Really. I’m sorry your mom and dad aren’t being more supportive, but I’m sure they’ll come around. Until then”—Frannie tucked Caroline’s sandy-brown hair behind her ear—“you have me.”
Caroline bit her lip hard, trying to stop herself from crying, but the moment Frannie pulled her into a hug, a little sob ripped from her chest. Frannie was at least six inches shorter than Caroline, so the hug was awkward until Frannie guided them onto the couch. She tucked Caroline’s head onto her shoulder and rubbed her back. Other than John, no one had even attempted to ease her fears.
The show of kindness cracked her façade, and Caroline let loose the hurt she’d been burying deep inside. She was pregnant. Her life had been turned upside down. She was scared. And she’d never felt so rejected in all her life. She’d always known her parents could be cruel, but the last few weeks, when she’d needed them most, they’d turned her away. Abandoned her. She’d felt as if she were in a freefall with no one to catch her.
Until Frannie hugged her tight.
“I imagine you must be so scared right now.” Frannie’s voice was soothing and maternal. “Everything is changing so fast. You must feel like your head is spinning sometimes. When this all starts to feel like too much, you call me, okay? No matter what it is or how silly you might think it is, I’m right here, ready to help you sort through everything.”
Caroline wanted to thank her, but she was crying too hard. She couldn’t remember ever weeping like this. Her parents thought this kind of emotion was a dramatic plea for attention, so Caroline had learned how to contain these types of outbursts long ago.
Despite the embarrassment she felt, she couldn’t stop herself. She clung to Frannie, ignoring how her sinuses were filling as she sniffed and snorted.
“Do you want to talk about what’s going on with your parents?” Frannie asked after a few minutes. “I’m sure I can help.”
Caroline shook her head. “They’ve wanted me to go to medical school since I was young. Now…” Sitting up, she nabbed tissues from the box on the end table and did her best to clean up her face.
“Do they know you’re going to finish your nursing degree before the baby comes?”
She nodded as she wiped her nose. “We told them that, but it’s not what they wanted.”
Frannie brushed another strand of Caroline’s hair from her face. “Well, you’re an adult now. Your life can’t always be about what they wanted. And that’s okay, Caroline. I, for one, am really proud of you. You’ve shown the kind of forethought that is going to make you a great mom.”
The compassion in her words, or maybe someone vocalizing that she’d done something to be proud of, melted her resolve again. She buried her face in her hands as her crying started anew.
Frannie ran her hand over Caroline’s back for several moments before asking, “Honey, I have to ask. Is medical school your dream or your parents’?”
Caroline wished she could answer, but she wasn’t sure. Although, she supposed, the why or how didn’t matter now. They might have pushed her toward medical school, but she’d chosen her area of study on her own. “I wanted to be a pediatrician.”
“You’ll be an amazing pediatrician someday,” Frannie said. “You’ll get back to your plans. I promise. We’ll find a way.”
“We?” Caroline’s voice came out as a cracked whisper.
“Of course.” Frannie smiled wide. “We’re family now. If my girl wants to be a pediatrician, we’ll find a way. Together.”
Besides her aunt Ellen, the only person who had ever called Caroline “my girl” was John. When he said those words, she’d swell with pride as if she was finally someone. Hearing them from Frannie, though, made her feel as if she’d found someplace where she belonged. She was someone’s girl. John’s girl. Frannie’s girl. She was wanted here.
Caroline tried to stifle her reaction, but a soft cry left her anyway.
Frannie leaned closer, hugged her closer. “Caroline, unplanned pregnancies happen all the time. This is a distraction. A slight detour. Not the end of the road. Mark and I are here to help you. We want you and John to have an amazing life together, sweetie, and if that means pitching in to help you go back to school when it’s time, then that’s what we’ll do.”
Frannie’s willingness to take her in, to help and support her, gave her a better understanding of what she’d been missing for so long. In that moment, Caroline came to resent her mother. More than resent her. The seedling of anger in her mind grew. As did her recognition that she could do this without her mother. She didn’t need Judith Stewart’s approval or help or…anything. She didn’t need a damn thing from her parents.
Though she couldn’t have imagined willingly showing Frannie weakness even ten minutes ago, Caroline leaned over and put her head back on the woman’s shoulder. Frannie hugged her close, and Caroline leaned into the embrace, soaking up the kind of maternal support she’d never had before.
Carol loved seeing her aunt’s work. Standing in the spare room that also served as an art studio, she admired the many paintings hanging on the walls as the late-afternoon sun streamed in through the blinds. Ellen had left Dayton the day after her eighteenth birthday and traveled the country, working odd jobs to support herself. Judith, of course, had shared that information as a warning of what not to do, but Carol had spent her childhood dreaming of being carefree like her aunt.
By her late twenties, Ellen had settled in Boulder, married an incredibly sweet man, and become an art teacher. Whenever Carol and her mother visited, Carol and her cousins went wild with paints in the area Ellen had set up as her studio. Watercolors were Carol’s favorite, mostly because she wasn’t great at painting and watercolors were a bit more forgiving. Even mistakes looked beautiful in watercolor.