Three
After a tense hour or so hovering over the puzzle, Carol walked out to the backyard and sank into one of the chairs on the patio. Clearly the two chairs and little round table had been her aunt’s addition. Her mother never would have bought teal-painted wrought iron.
Unlike Carol’s yard in Houston, with the endless varieties of plants, her mother and aunt hadn’t done much landscaping. There were a few cannas with fiery leaves and bright orange flowers in one corner of the yard and a palm tree in another, but for the most part, the yard was empty. There were no sweet scents in the air. Just humid oppression.
Carol leaned over enough to slip her phone free from her pocket when it vibrated. Time stopped for a moment as she read the caller ID. Her real estate agent. Something inside her heart grew dark with dread. She hadn’t been expecting a call, not exactly, but she wasn’t surprised.
“Hey, Pam.”
“Afternoon, darlin’,” she answered with a Southern Texas drawl. “I wanted to let you know the bidding war is over. One of the buyers backed out. The price was getting too high for them. All that’s left is for you to accept the remaining offer.”
Tobias’s garden flashed through Carol’s mind. The flowers danced on the breeze. Their sweetness filled her senses. This time, Carol didn’t feel calm. She felt the harsh slap of reality. All that stood between her and selling the house were a few signatures. A few scribbles, and she’d never see her husband’s garden again. She had a thousand photos and videos. She had picked flowers and pressed them in Tobias’s favorite book. She even had seeds he’d harvested from the plants so someday she could start a new garden in his memory.
Suddenly, that didn’t seem like enough.
“Are you there?” Pam asked.
Carol inhaled and forced a smile in an effort to make her voice sound cheerful. “I’m here.”
“You…still want to sell, right?”
Even if she didn’t plan to spend an unknown amount of time traveling, keeping that big empty house wasn’t logical. She had spent the last ten months avoiding as much of her home as possible. She could count on one hand how many times she’d been in Tobias’s home office, the spare bedroom where she’d kept Katie’s belongings, and the living room. Every day was the same—she would walk in through the kitchen and go up the stairs to her office or to her bedroom. The rest of the house was untouched.
But the garden… Was she truly ready to leave the garden?
“Carol?” Pam’s voice had switched from cheerful to borderline panicked.
“Yes,” she said, her tone flat without the forced cheer. “Yes, I still want to sell.”
Pam laughed dryly. “You scared me there for a second.”
“I’m sorry. It’s real now, isn’t it?”
“I know this is difficult.” Pam’s drawl took on a maternal tone. “You and Tobias made so many memories there.”
Though she was certain the little speech was one Pam had given to a thousand different widows or widowers or grown children who were selling their parents’ homes, Carol appreciated the attempt at comfort. “Yes,” she said, “we did. I know the new owners will too.”
“Oh, darlin’, they will. I’ll email you the papers with instructions for your signature. If you can get them to me by the end of the day tomorrow, I’d really appreciate it.”
“I will. Thank you, Pam.”
“You’re welcome. And as hard as this is, I want you to know the biggest selling point was your husband’s garden. The buyers love what he did with the yard.”
Carol closed her eyes and swallowed down the sob welling in her chest. “I’m glad. We’ll talk soon.” She hung up as she lost the strength to hold back the sound any longer. Tears fell and she choked out a miserable sound as she dropped her phone into her lap.
“Are you okay?” Judith asked from behind her.
After wiping her cheeks, Carol glanced back to where her mom stood holding two glasses of iced tea. She sniffled as she dried her hands on her shorts. “I will be.”
Judith held out a glass. “You’re upset.” Her comment was flat, emotionless.
Carol knew from experience that her mother would never intentionally delve into her problems. Where Ellen would have rushed to sit and ask what had happened, her mother simply made an observation that was left for Carol to acknowledge or ignore.
Carol accepted the drink, even though she didn’t care for her mother’s tea. Though she didn’t eat candies or cakes much anymore, she did prefer her tea made southern style—with a hefty dose of simple syrup and a pinch of baking soda to heighten the sweetness. Yet another thing they disagreed on that didn’t warrant pointing out. She’d drink the bitter tea without remark.
“One of the potential buyers backed out. It’s a done deal.” Her voice cracked as she said, “I’ve sold the house.”
“Oh.” Judith eased down into the chair on the other side of the small table. “I remember how heartbroken I was when I decided to leave Ohio.”
Carol let the words sink in. For some reason, she’d never considered how upset her mother must have been to sell the home Carol had grown up in. She had few memories in that home that warmed her heart, but certainly her mother hadn’t shared her misery. Carol had been so selfishly relieved that she wouldn’t have to settle the estate someday, she hadn’t considered what her mom had gone through.
Even when she’d returned for her father’s funeral, she’d checked into a hotel since Ellen was staying with Judith. Ellen had assured Carol there was room for them all at the house, but the last thing she wanted was to be stuck there, especially since she and Tobias had agreed she should go to Dayton alone.
Her father hadn’t been any fonder of Tobias than he’d been of John. Neither Carol nor her husband had to wonder why. Dennis Stewart would never come right out and say so, but he was less than thrilled that his son-in-law was Black. Carol couldn’t say if her mother held the same prejudice or if she simply never pushed back against her husband’s.
That didn’t change how Carol hadn’t been there for her mother when she’d been widowed or when she’d sold her home. Guilt and shame overshadowed her pain. “I didn’t…I guess I thought you wanted to move here with Ellen.”
Judith was quiet for a few seconds. “I was lonely, Carol. I had friends in Ohio, but most of our family moved away years ago. Or died. There was no reason for me to stay after your father died.” Ice clinked in her glass as she took a drink. She set it on the ground beside her and wiped her hands on her dress.
Carol suspected her mom was waiting for some kind of response to her comment, but now wasn’t the time to inform her that had she at least tried to make Tobias feel welcome, they may have visited. Instead, her parents had been very clear that, like John, they didn’t approve of Carol’s second husband.
Tobias had been everything they’d said they wanted her to marry—smart, kind, and successful. Yet, they’d never even attempted to make him feel part of the family. Of course, they barely made Carol feel like part of their family. Maybe she had expected too much of them. If they couldn’t be open and warm toward their own daughter, she shouldn’t have expected them to be that way toward an in-law.