Taylor
Present
Positive.
The test was positive. I stared at it for thirty minutes, then turned and vomited my breakfast from that morning.
2
A Month Earlier
“Taylor.”
I woke to Logan whispering my name, nudging my hip. I peeked through an open eye and stared at him. Nope. It was dark out. It was still dark out. I had no clue the time, but I knew it was hellish early in the morning. There’s a universal rule. You do not wake a nurse after they’ve worked a double shift and had stayed another three hours for the paperwork.
I loved Logan, but I was ready to kill him, and I knew how. I knew all the ways to murder someone.
“I love you, honey, but if you shake me one more time, I am going to take a scalpel to a part of your body and you don’t want to know which part.” I was lying on my stomach, snuggled into our blankets. I was an RN at the local hospital, and Logan was a partner at his firm. We did well, seriously well, but at that moment, I was grateful for so many of our blessings because this bed was one of the most comfortable places in the world. I glanced out the window, saw that it was starting to snow, and yes, this was my favorite place to be. Here. This bed. With Logan. Knowing I didn’t have another shift for a long time! This all happened last minute, today. Another nurse needed to switch schedules, and pick up more hours. I took her hours next month, so score for me.
And again, heaven. Right here.
I closed my eyes and put my head back onto the pillow. “I love you, but leave me alone. I want to sleep.”
“Taylor.” He wasn’t whispering now, and a second later, he whipped my pillow out from under me.
“Logan!”
I reared up—or started to rear up—but Logan caught my hand and flipped my entire body. I had no clue how he did that, but I wasn’t surprised. He was seriously efficient at moving my body around. I landed on my back and he was on top of me. His legs straddled mine, and as I growled, raising my other hand, he caught that one too. Then, with both my hands pinned down, his hips sank further onto me, and he leaned down slowly.
God, his eyes. So dark. So filled with the typical Logan mischief.
As long as I’d known him, it was the same look, the one that said, ‘I have a great idea that you will probably hate, but you’re going to go along with it because I’ve decided we’re going to do it and you love me that much so you’ll come along.’ It was that look. Everyone fell for it, literally everyone.
I growled, but he half-grinned and half-smirked down at me. “I want to go to Hawaii.”
I stilled, frowning. “What?”
“Right now. Today. This hour. I want to go.”
Oh, man. Maybe this was one of those moments that I wouldn’t mind so much.
We were in our thirties. No children. We were together, but we weren’t married.
I never minded. I had Logan. That’s all I cared about. He had haunts and his own demons, so I always went with his timeline. Deciding to go to Hawaii on a whim was something we could do.
“What about your work? What about the boys?” I said we didn’t have children, but that didn’t mean we didn’t have children. Two golden retrievers were in the hallway, and I was shocked that the door was closed. They were whining, wanting to get into bed with us.
Logan’s mischievous look just went up a level. “I decided to take some time off and I made a call. Sam said they’d watch them for us.”
Samantha was Logan’s sister-in-law. They had their own house full of kids, the human and four-legged kind. “Are they sure? It’s such late notice.”
Logan slid his entire body down so he was lying on me, his eyes staring deep into mine. His were starting to smolder, and I felt another piece of him enjoying this position a whole lot. He released one of my hands. That hand went to my hip and slid up under my shirt. “I’m very sure that they’re very sure.”
I laughed, but Logan’s mouth was on mine.
Hawaii was going to have to wait a bit.
3
Present
I was going to be a mom.
Blinking back tears, I was now no longer staring at the pregnancy test. I was holding it, and I was sitting in the bathroom, my back to the shower, and I had tears rolling down my face. I was blinking them back so I could see the pregnancy test, but wow.
Positive.
Mom, I’m going to have a baby.
I hadn’t known. After seeing my mom gunned down in front of me and later losing one of my best friends, I had a different outlook on life. Enjoy. Be grateful for your blessings. And love. Always love. So maybe it was because of those events that I was okay with chilling, being happy being with Logan, but I’d been going on his timeline.
He had struggles. I knew he did. I knew. I knew him better than anyone right now.
I knew he feared being like his father.
I knew he feared being absent and cold like his mother.
I knew he worried about marriage, fearing it’d only end in divorce.
Those are all seriously valid struggles, and I waited. I had struggled at times, but I made a conscious decision. I loved my man. I was his ride or die. I’d be at his side, always, but now I was pregnant, and I was in my thirties.
I wasn’t waiting anymore.
Oh.
Wow.
Okay.
I touched my stomach, looking down.
Holy fuck, little dude or dudette. You’re with me, no matter what. You lucked out. You got this momma as your momma, and I’m going to be the best damn momma I can be. Got that?
I closed my eyes and sent out another thought.
Mom, it’d totally be amazing right now if I could feel you, if I could become psychic and communicate with you. I waited. Nothing. But no, I could smell her perfume, and just like that, Thanks, Mom. You got a grandchild coming. Tell me you’re happy. I love you. I miss you.
And I swear, I swear I could hear her say I love you back to me.
Then my phone rang.
Logan calling.
4
Earlier
The airport was bustling when we got there. The snow wasn’t helping, but Logan took my hand and began weaving through the lines. We had premier access to get through the security lines faster, and when we approached, the two workers started smiling.
“Logan, my man.” The first guy held his hand up, and Logan met it with his.
“Raj, how’s it going?”
The guy’s eyebrows shot up. “Same as always. It’s going, but how are you? Tell me your brother’s team is going to do better this year.”
Logan laughed, handing over his ID, and he motioned to me, showing both of our tickets. The other worker, a woman, cleared us both, but she listened to Logan and her coworker have an entire conversation.
The guy’s name was Rajdo. After Logan skimmed over talking about Mason’s football team, I learned that Rajdo had a wife pregnant with their fifth kid. They were having a hard time planning their older son’s Bar Mitzvah, and they needed to head south later in the month for his niece’s quinceañera. The woman worker’s name was Sandra. She hated Mason’s team, but since she knew Mason was Logan’s brother, she said he was ‘alright’ in her books. And she said all that with a wink and a smile my way.