“What did Mason want?” she asked around a yawn, her hand falling to cover mine on her tummy.
I turned mine around, lacing our fingers, and moved in even closer, settling. “Nothing important.” I pressed a kiss to the back of her shoulder. “I love you. Sleep, babe.”
Her whole body shuddered on a jerk, and I heard another yawn slip out from her, then she was dozing a second later.
Home. She was my home.
20
Present
“It was that day.”
The dogs. It was when Mason called me with the first warning about James.
I pulled back, looking at her face. We were still at Manny’s. People were yelling around us, and I was pretty sure some were yelling at us, but right now, it was only Taylor and me, and I was remembering.
“When did you know?”
She was so pale, and she bit down on her bottom lip. “That morning, Mason called at five? That day?”
The dogs wouldn’t leave her side, not to even piss.
“It was that day. You knew that day.” My tone was coming out harsh, but I didn’t mean for that. My mind was whirling. My blood was buzzing. I had so many emotions crashing through me, and my hands were starting to shake.
Holy fuck.
Taylor was pregnant.
And she was still shaking in my arms.
I cursed, looking and finding Nate and Heather watching me, their faces set in concern. I gave a slight shake of my head to them. “I’m heading out.”
Heather started for us. “Wha—”
Nate cut her off, “Sounds good.”
The unspoken context was that Heather thought I announced we were married, and she didn’t know what the hell was going on. Nate knew something else was going on, and it took precedence over this stupid shit drama.
I took Taylor’s hand but pressed a kiss to her forehead, cupping the back of her neck. I whispered there, urgently, because holy hell, everything was changing after today, “I know you’re shaking. I don’t know why, but I love you.” I squeezed her hand. “I love you.”
I started forward, guiding her in front of me, our clasped hands resting low on her hip. Usually, I’d take the lead, but not today. All these people were behind us. I wanted as much of an actual block to whoever was going to come after us.
“Logan.”
I swallowed a curse because we weren’t even out of Manny’s back section before Tate was trying, whatever she was going to try.
I stiffened, but then a presence moved in swiftly from the right. “Leave him alone, Tate.”
That was Nate, and as I guided Taylor forward, stepping through to the front section, I spared a look over my shoulder. Nate was blocking her way, but then we were through, and I moved, taking the lead. I kept Taylor’s hand in mine. We went fast through Manny’s until we were in the parking lot. The door banged shut behind us.
“Logan—” Taylor started.
I shook my head. “Stop. Just wait. Wait.”
I drove so Nate would get a ride with someone else, and I was hurrying Taylor into the front seat, then I was around and in the driver’s side. After that, fuck. I had no clue where James would be. We had him in his old room at the house, but knowing my disastrous dad, he was probably banging someone new by now.
Either way, I wanted total and complete privacy. I wanted no one to be able to find us.
I made a decision, hitting the turn signal.
“Where are we going?”
“Somewhere no one will look for us.”
“Logan,” she started again.
My heart broke because she sounded so sad, so resigned. Cautious.
I did that.
My hands started shaking, so I gripped the steering wheel harder.
Me. I put that there, in her.
The fear, sadness, resignation. She was cautious with me. Her. My teammate. My life partner. Forget the fucking roles of husband and wife. She was mine. I signed up to be beside her for life long ago, and she was scared right now because of me.
I had wholly and royally fucked up.
I spoke low and raw, “I am not angry with you, but give me some time. I need to digest some things and figure out the best way to say what I have to say.”
She choked out a sob, so I reached over and entwined her hand in mine. Our fingers laced together.
I held her hand the entire drive.
21
Logan
“Why are we in Cain?”
I drove and just kept going until I figured out where I was taking her. Then it all made sense. I squeezed her hand, “Hold on. Please.”
“Logan.” A sigh from her, and that sadness was still with her.
Pain sliced through me. “Just hold on. Please.” I was saying it gently. Tender. I needed to be delicate with her, handle her with care. She felt like she was going to break. I could feel it in her, just under the surface.
I did that. Fuck me. I did that.
I turned off, heading into a different section of town.
“Oh my God, Logan.” She sat up, seeing where we were going.
I pulled in, went to the buzzer, and put in the code. The gates started to open and I asked, “You remember this place?”
“It was the old amusement park.”
I drove in. It’d been abandoned back then. It wasn’t anymore. “James kept us abreast of the changes. He wants Mason and me to take over his company, and maybe one day, we will, but when he was deciding what to do here, I asked him to refurbish the roller coaster, bring it up to date so it can still be used.”
“You did?”
I shot her a grin as I pulled into a parking slot. “He didn’t, but a couple of years ago, I invested, and I brought it back.”
“Logan!” Her eyes wide, her voice in awe.
I had to take a moment, just a moment.
She was so beautiful. She always had been, always kind. It was the kindness that undid me.
“You forgave me.”
“What?”
“Back then. You forgave me, and that’s the day I realized I loved you. But I decided to fight for you on that roller coaster. I wanted you to rip me apart, and you didn’t. You did the opposite. I’m a fighter. It’s what I’ve known all my life, and you never gave me that fight because it’s not what I needed. Since then, you’ve let me call the shots. You let me set the pace, and I don’t know where I fucked up”—my voice cracked—“you’ve always let me be me, and I’ve always needed you. I leaned on you, and you let me, but fuck, Taylor. I have made a complete mess of everything if you—”
I had to stop.
The years started flashing in front of me.
Our first Christmas.
Graduation.
After graduation.
Moving to Boston.
We followed Mason there, all of us. Taylor came with. She did that for me.
“I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Logan, no.” She started to reach for me, but I stopped her.
I caught her other hand, now holding both of them, and I shook my head. “I didn’t want to grow up. I didn’t want to lose what I had. You should’ve left me long ago.”
“Logan, stop.” She was crying.