I learned when Maddie was born to always agree with her. She was a female incarnate of Logan and Mason together.
“I feel you, sister.”
She harrumphed and sighed before standing up. “Okay. It’s my turn to find the little shits. You stay, take a load off, Aunt Taylor.”
I still hadn’t told Logan.
9
Earlier
We kayaked.
We surfed.
We hiked.
We went horseback riding.
We snorkeled.
We enjoyed poke.
We had a luau on our second to last night.
We did everything tourists were supposed to do. We did it. It wasn’t our first time in Hawaii, and it wouldn’t be our last, but there was an extra frenzy about the trip. We needed to do all of this for ourselves, like this was our trip, for us, and we were exploring Hawaii for the first time.
It was our last night, and we were in bed. Neither of us wanted to leave. Or move.
Logan lay between my legs, his arms spread out. I was almost cradling him, running my hands through his hair. He nestled his head just under my breasts, and every once in a while, he liked to reach up and touch my breast or my nipple or kiss there.
“I don’t want to go back.”
He took in a deep breath, then let it out. His body sank even more into the bed and me. “Me neither.”
His phone lit up from the bedside stand.
It’d been lighting up for the last few days, and Logan was not being Logan. He was ignoring every text, email, message, and call. He wasn’t responding to anyone.
I’d been feeling the urgency from him since he proposed. It was deep inside of him, but I could feel it. It was almost desperation, but I didn’t know what it was for or from. I hadn’t the heart to bring it up, not wanting to interrupt our trip and this sanctuary atmosphere we were in.
I closed my eyes, my hands pausing then going through his hair, and I knew I had to bring it up now. “Do you need to get that?”
He was shaking his head even before I finished the question, rolling and burrowing into me even more, his head fully facing down. He raised himself up while his head stayed. His back arched. His hands found my hips as his hips moved up to mine. “No.”
The phone lit up again.
I frowned. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t want to know.” He lifted his head again, his eyes tormented. “Not today. Not this trip. I’ll deal with it when we go back, but not before.”
I closed my mouth, a wave of pain rose from feeling his pain.
He whispered, his forehead resting to mine again, “I want to get married now. You and me. No one else. I want this for us, only us.”
A tear slipped out because this Logan rarely came out. It was when he knew something was happening, something from his family or his friends or his job, that would pull him away. He always went. He put them ahead of himself and me, but it was how Logan was.
I knew this going in. I didn’t care. It was a part of him that I fell in love with.
I didn’t want him any other way. I only wanted him to be Logan, so he needed to do what he needed to do to be himself—if that made any sense.
Feeling his pain now, I slid my fingers through his hair, palming his head as he lifted up and stared at me. His eyes were haunted on a trip when they shouldn’t be.
“Okay.”
The troubled look vanished. “Yeah?” He started to smile.
I nodded, whispering back, “Yes. You and me.”
His eyes closed, but his phone lit up. This time it started buzzing on the bedside stand. Someone was calling. It wasn’t just a message or an alert.
Logan cursed, rolled over, looked at his phone, and turned it off. “Not today. Not this day.”
He put the phone back, looked at me, searing me with his need.
I was ready for him as he reached for me.
10
Present
So the shindig with James ended up being more than a shindig. It was a whole cluster fuck. The big D (divorce) word was being thrown around, which escalated to Analise flying to Boston and staying at Samantha’s. Which… wasn’t going well.
Mason and Logan were flying back and forth from Fallen Crest to here every few days. Mason had practices and games, so he went when he could. He ended up calling Nate to help tag-team with Logan.
My man called every night, and he sounded more and more exhausted with each phone call. Because of that, I asked around, got my schedule flipped, and got plenty of time off. Score for nurses helping each other out. I called Samantha, letting her know the situation, that I was going to head to Fallen Crest as a surprise. Sam was down to help make that happen. She offered to watch the boys, but I called in other favors with them too. Like Logan, our two pups were heavily loved. We had a whole adopted grandmother two houses down that the dogs visited, and most of the time, it was without our knowledge. We found out about the relationship when she texted me once, asking how the boys were because they hadn’t seen her in a few days. (That was a time when Sam and Mason were watching them for us.) And I had a whole surreal moment because I thought she was talking about human boys, not our boys.
Nonetheless, we figured it out, and now the pups loved spending time with their very own grandmama. I’d include her husband, but he liked to complain about why he was still buying dog treats three years after their last dog died—just kidding. The grandpa was very much included. Matty liked to climb up into his lap. It was only a problem when he wasn’t sitting.
I liked to joke that they got that side from their dad, not myself.
I digress—back to my amazing surprise. I was now on the plane (after another hello to Tracy and all the security guards asking about Logan, asking what Mason’s actual chances were at winning their first playoff game), and I was settled in.
I needed to tell Logan about the baby.
I was still waiting, but it never seemed the right time.
He’d not been home to spend a full evening with me in so long, and I kept holding off, thinking the time would come.
Now it would.
I was going to him. We’d have so much time.
I needed to plan how to tell him.
I landed, and the surprise was on me.
Logan was there but not to pick me up.
He was there to pick up Quincey, who was flying in to surprise Nate.
11
Earlier
Logan
God, Taylor was fucking beautiful.
Every morning, every day, every evening, she took my breath away. She was raw. She was genuine. She was never demanding. She was strong. She was supportive. She knew when to fight, when to love, when to avoid, and when to stand.
She’d been through things that I never wanted to imagine. Ever. But she was here, and she was walking toward me. Barefoot. Nighttime. On a beach in Hawaii. She had flowers in her hair—flowers in her hands. A line of lights marked the path to me, where I was standing. The waves were coming in behind us, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.
I loved her. I loved her so fucking much.
I wasn’t Mason.