I no more than swallow the cold liquid when I look up and am hit with the vicious glare of Gavin who is standing directly in front of us at the other end of the bar. Fucking awesome. Not only am I hiding shit from him about Charlie but now he probably thinks I’m trying to move in on his girl.
I watch as seconds later Decklan and Kimber appear next to him out of nowhere, Decklan clearly trying to keep him calm. I don’t even realize Harlee has moved until I hear the legs of her stool scrape the floor next to me. I turn just in time to see her slip out of the front door.
I look back towards Gavin just as he realizes Harlee is gone, shrugging as I gesture towards the door. He takes off after her, disappearing outside moments later.
“What the fuck dude?” Decklan’s voice pulls my attention to where he and Kimber have approached. “I thought you guys were going to keep him home?”
“I thought that was Charlie’s gig?” I shrug. “Besides, I had no clue you were trying to keep him away because of that.” I point behind me toward the door where Harlee just exited.
“Fuck.” Decklan sighs, running his hands through his hair.
“It’s fine.” Kimber reassures him. “Maybe this is what they need.” She gives me a nod and a sweet smile, her way of telling me it’s not my fault.
Fuck, it might as well be. I’m in the business of fucking things up tonight apparently.
“I need a drink.” Decklan slides into the stool next to me and waves at Val.
“You leaving me hanging?” She slides a coaster in front of him and waits for his order.
Decklan and Gavin co-own Deviants. Clearly Decklan was bartending at some point tonight based on Val’s comment.
“You’ve slowed down enough.” He states the obvious, looking around the half empty bar.
“Yeah, yeah.” She rolls her eyes. “What can I get ya?”
“Whiskey?” Decklan turns to me, cocking his eyebrow.
“Whiskey.” I agree with a nod.
Kimber clears her throat behind Decklan, giving him a sweet smile when he turns toward her. “Only one.” He promises as he pulls her into his lap.
“One?” She arches her brow pulling a smile from Deck just moments before he leans forward and lays a kiss to the tip of her nose.
The whole interaction makes me uncomfortable. Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t be happier for Deck, but these two are bit nauseating to watch if I’m being honest.
I turn my attention back to Val just as she reappears in front of us, two shots in her hand. Sliding one to me and the other to Deck, we clink glasses and drink, the liquid burning a hot trail all the way down my throat.
Sliding the empty glass across the bar, I gesture to Val for another. Shaking her head, she grabs the bottle of whiskey and has my shot refilled before I even have a chance to speak.
Decklan may have promised Kimber only one but I made no such promises. Right now I just want to forget this fucking day ever happened and I will drink the entire bottle of fucking whiskey to do it if that’s what it takes.
Chapter Three
Charlie
“What the hell is wrong with me?” I scold myself, pacing back and forth across the worn carpet that lines my childhood bedroom.
First I kissed Paxton, or rather kissed him back, then I was so distracted by said kiss that I let Gavin leave without even noticing he was gone. I suck on all sorts of levels tonight. At least Kimber called me to let me know that he’s with Harlee and all appears to be well. Hopefully the two of them will work their shit out and stop putting everyone else in the middle of their drama.
Running my hands through my long brown hair, I tug at the ends, letting out a frustrated groan when I go back to the reason I was distracted in the first place.
I’ve spent three years pretending like Paxton Stewart doesn’t exist and now that I’m home, now that I find myself thrown back into the world I left all those years ago, I just can’t seem to find my footing. One look into those stunning green eyes and my mind turns to mush.
“Remember.” I grind out through gritted teeth.
I will myself to return to that night. To the night when I practically begged Paxton to be my first. To the night when I finally experienced what it felt like to be held in the arms of the man I had been obsessing over since before I was really even old enough to look at boys in that way.
But remembering that night isn’t the point, it’s remembering what happened next that jolts me back to my senses. The way I felt when I woke the next morning. The memories that hit me like a tidal wave. Every kiss. Every graze of his hand against my skin. The way his voice sounded when he said my name. Every single moment flooded through me until all I could see was Paxton and I couldn’t fight the elation I felt.
I was happy. No, I was more than just happy, I was in love. And then just like that, it all came crashing down around me.
“Charlie, you okay?” I hear a light rap at the door followed by my mother’s concerned voice.
“Yeah, fine mom.” I lie, pausing in the middle of the room to stare at the door.
“You sure? You only pace when you’re upset.” She calls me out.
I should have known she could hear me. This old house creaks every time you move. Though I’m not entirely sure why she’s up to be able to hear me in the first place.
“I’m not pacing, just hanging up some laundry.” I blurt the first excuse that comes to mind.
“This late?” Her question prompts me to look at the clock on the bedside table. Just after three o’clock in the morning.
“I just got home from Gavin’s and needed to get it done.”
“Okay. Well I’m going back to bed then. Unless you need some help.”
“Nope. I’m good,” I say, trying to keep my voice light. “I filled the car up on my way home too,” I add, for some reason wanting to make someone aware of my excuse for fleeing Gavin’s after he took off tonight.
Needing to return the car to mom seems like as good of an excuse as any. Truth is I just didn’t want to hang around and face Paxton when he decided to finally come home. It would be so much easier if he wasn’t living with my brother right now.
“Okay thanks honey. Love you.” My mom once again interrupts my thoughts.
“Love you too mom.”
I wait until I hear her bedroom door close down the hall before my pacing resumes.
My mind immediately floods back to Paxton, my stomach twisting into a hard knot as I replay the events of the day.
I close my eyes and I can see his eyes, the normally bright green darkening to near black as he stared back at me. He hasn’t looked at me like that since the day he told me that our night together was a mistake and that he couldn’t be with me in the way I wanted.
He was upset with me tonight, though I’m not entirely sure why. He had been drinking, that much I know for sure. But it still doesn’t explain why he cornered me the way he did, demanding to know why I was playing games with him.
Me? Playing games?
Since when is trying to move past the man who broke my heart a game?
It took everything in me not to slap him right across the face right then and there.
When I returned home from New York just a few weeks ago I was determined to act like our one night together three years ago never happened. That we were still the same Paxton and Charlie that we’d always been. He would never know that I realized I was in love with him that night or how much his rejection hurt me when he pushed me away afterward. I knew it wouldn’t change anything.