“Isn’t that what you always do?” Gavin injects.
“Usually, yeah.” I agree on a laugh, knowing I rarely plan a performance beforehand.
I just get up on stage and play whatever songs I feel like. Lucky for me, I know quite a few so I’m able to keep things interesting. Though I must admit, I have no idea what I’m going to be able to pull out of my ass that’s appropriate for a bride to walk down the aisle to. Fortunately I have a day and a half to figure it out.
“How long have you been playing?” Angel speaks directly next to me, pulling my gaze toward her.
“Since I was about thirteen. My dad taught me. At the time I thought he was just trying to push an agenda on me. I realized pretty quickly though that it gave us something to bond over. I’ve been in love with it ever since.”
“That’s amazing.” She gives me a wide smile leaning into me slightly.
“It is.” I agree, returning her smile.
It isn’t until her hand settles on my leg that it finally hits me what the hell is going on. She’s hitting on me. That’s why she insisted on sitting next me. That’s why she’s been breaking her neck to stare at me since the moment we sat down. I glance up at Kimber and then to Harlee who are both looking in our direction, watching the interaction between the two of us. Kimber seems excited but Harlee— she seems more—hell how do I explain this?
There’s something in Harlee’s stare that goes straight through me, and I don’t think it has anything to do with Angel. I can’t shake the uneasiness I feel but before I can really pinpoint why she’s looking at me the way she is, she turns her attention back to Gavin, snuggling into his side when he drops an arm over the back of her chair.
Casually brushing Angel’s hand from my leg, I try to keep my rejection as subtle as possible. I barely register her unphased reaction before I glance back at Charlie. Her face is turned to the side as she talks Kimber. She gives me a brief smile when she catches me looking at her, but otherwise gives me no indication that she witnessed my interaction with Angel.
Don’t get me wrong, Angel is banging. And if not for the gorgeous creature sitting across from me, I probably wouldn’t hesitate to take her back to my room. But what physical attraction I may have towards Angel in different company, it’s nonexistent when Charlie’s in the room.
Luckily, Angel seems unaffected by me thwarting her advances and continues to joke and laugh with the rest of the group like nothing even happened. Honestly, she’s so causal about the entire thing I have almost immediately convinced myself that I misunderstood her intentions. Almost. The sly look she throws my way moments later reaffirms my initial thought. Can’t blame a girl for trying I guess.
The conversation continues on through dinner, jumping back and forth around the table. I only really pay attention to the important things; Charlie transferring her credits from NYU to the University of Oregon, how she plans to stay at her mom’s house while she finishes her last year of school, what she plans to do for a job in the meantime, which up to this point she has yet to figure out.
Gavin questions her a little more about why she left New York to begin with, considering she had just three semesters to go before she would have graduated from NYU with a bachelor’s degree in Business. Like every time he’s asked her before, she shrugs it off, giving some half-cocked excuse about missing home.
Clearly he doesn’t believe her answer. Not that I can blame him. I’ve never bought her excuse either. Something is just off with her whenever anyone brings up New York. Charlie has never been a very good liar, which is in large part one of the reasons why I avoided pursuing her further after our one night together. I knew that if Gavin ever suspected anything and asked her straight up, her expression alone would have probably given us away.
Luckily now he has Harlee. Not that having a girlfriend makes him blind or anything but it does offer up a nice distraction while I feel things out a little more with Charlie.
By the time we finally wrap up dinner, everyone is ready to call it a night. Considering it’s just past ten o’clock when I return to my room and I don’t normally go to bed until three or four in the morning, I know that I am hours away from being ready to sleep.
I stare at the text feed between me and Charlie from earlier tonight. My thumb lingers over the screen for several moments before I finally lock the phone and toss it onto my bed. As much as I want to reach out to her, I know I need to put the ball in her court. If we are in this together than I’m game, but I won’t be the only one putting myself out there.
If she wants to meet up after Angel falls asleep then she knows where to find me. If not, then it looks like I am in for one hell of a long, disappointing night.
Chapter Six
Charlie
The darkness of the room settles over me like a thick blanket, shutting me off from the world to hold me prisoner beneath its weight. I fight to keep my eyes closed, to will myself to sleep, but I can’t get my mind to turn off.
I roll to the side, squinting through the pitch black room to where Angel is in the bed next to mine. I can’t see her, but I can hear her light exhales of breath as she sleeps. Letting out a slow sigh, I roll to my back and stare up at the dark ceiling.
Six rooms down on the right. That’s all I would I need to travel. Six rooms and I could be in Paxton’s arms, in his bed. But as much as I want that, I’m not sure I want it at the same time. We’ve been through this before, this back and forth, game of tug of war between us.
Last time things we’re slightly different. Then I was just a kid really. It started my senior year of high school. I was seventeen the first time I noticed that something had shifted between me and Paxton. I could tell in the way he looked at me. For a while I convinced myself it was just wishful thinking, considering I had harbored a secret crush on him for years. But then it slowly became apparent that it wasn’t just in my head.
Suddenly he was spending even more time at the house than usual. He would stay for dinner and always sit next to me. He would find ways to accidently brush into me but it always felt completely intentional. The way I would catch him staring at me from across the room, a hunger in his eyes, I knew he felt something too.
It wasn’t until prom night that everything came to light. Even though I had made it perfectly clear to everyone that the guy I was going with was just a friend, Paxton was acting wildly jealous, cornering me in the hallway to demand I cancel. I refused of course. But not before I told him exactly what I wanted. That it was his arms I wanted to be in that night. It was him I wanted spinning me across the dance floor. It was him and only him I wanted.
He responded how I knew he would. Saying that Gavin would never be okay with it and that he’s just too old for me. I laughed. I mean, I was eighteen by that point and Paxton was twenty-two. We we’re both legally adults. He was just scared. I could see it in his eyes.
It wasn’t until later that night after I was home and curled in bed that he came for me. He told me how sorry he was; how he can’t fight the feelings he has for me anymore. He told me he wanted me and he didn’t care what anyone thought. He kissed me for the first time that night. It was soft and brief but to this day remains the most memorable kiss of my life.
I woke up the next morning the happiest I think I’ve ever been. Nothing could wipe the smile off my face that morning. Nothing, except the very person who put it there to begin with. The first chance he got to get me alone he did, telling me he was sorry for coming to my room the night before, that it was inappropriate, and that things could never be that way between us.