“Let me know if you need anything.”
Elise grinned at me. “I’m not going to need anything from you. You have a date.”
Tanner grinned at me as Miles leaned forward. “You have a date?” he asked. I did my best not to look deeper into his words. I had kissed him when I was drunk. He didn’t kiss me back. I didn’t need to think about him in any other way now.
“Yes, I do.”
“Going to get lucky?” Tanner asked.
I threw a crumpled-up piece of paper at him. “Gross.”
“If it’s gross, you’re not doing it right,” Tanner said.
“Whatever.” I shook my head as Tanner and Elise began packing up and heading out. Miles held his phone, staring at something, seemingly in his own world.
Tanner went up to his room, scowling at his phone as he did, and Elise headed towards Dillon’s. That left me on the couch, picking up my things as Miles scrolled through something on his cell.
“Nessa, I forgot I had something to show you.” Miles’ words pulled me out of my thoughts.
“Oh?” Why were things so awkward when it came to him?
“You were looking for that book on Jane Austen, right?”
“I’m always looking for books on Jane Austen,” I answered with a laugh.
“True, but there was a biography you wanted to read in paperback. The one that’s out of print?”
“Oh, yes! Why?”
“I think I found a copy. At least, I believe so. It’s in the library. Come on.”
He stood, and my heart raced, though I wasn’t sure if it was only about the book.
“You found it?”
“I think it came with the house. I was bored one day, looking through all the books. It might not be the same one, though. I left it where it was so I didn’t accidentally lose it in my room or something.”
“I would hate to have to search your room to find it if that were the case.”
I swallowed hard as both of us gave each other looks. I tried not to read too much into it.
“Here. I think I remember it over here.”
I stood next to him in the library as he slowly reached for the book. He was so close to me and smelled so good. I swallowed hard, attempting not to think about it. I tried not to look at him because I didn’t want him knowing that I was thinking about him or trying not to look at him.
What was wrong with me? The tension was palpable, and I swore I could hear every breath he took. I felt the warmth of his body next to mine.
My hair stood on end, and I wanted to reach out. To brush his skin and see what he felt like. But I didn’t.
I wasn’t going to lose my mind and fall for another guy in this house.
He finally cleared his throat. If it were any more awkward or steamier between us, his glasses would have fogged up—or I’d trip over myself.
“Here you go,” he said as he handed me the book. Our fingertips brushed, and I swallowed hard before I pulled back.
“This is it. Thank you.” I wanted to reach up and kiss his cheek like I would have any other day to say thank you because that’s who I was. But I didn’t.
Instead, I met his gaze, and my eyes moved to his lips. I stopped myself.
I had to.
Miles pulled away first, and I hated that I hadn’t. “I need to go work on my homework in my room. I need to focus.”
“Good. I have a date.”
“I remember.”
“Oh. Right.” I was annoyed that I’d even brought it up.
“With that guy. Xander? Things are going pretty well between the two of you?” he added, sticking his hands into his pockets.
I didn’t want to read too much into his words or tone. He didn’t like me like that. He hadn’t mentioned the kiss, and I hadn’t either. I just saw too much tension in everything we did these days.
“I don’t know about that,” I said honestly. “It’s just a date. Dinner. I need to eat.” Could I sound any lamer?
“Have fun, stay safe.”
“Always. And thank you for the book. Really, thank you.”
“Anything, Nessa.”
His gaze met mine again, and then he shrugged and walked away, leaving me standing there as if I were losing my mind.
And in a home I didn’t own, acting the fool.
I quickly put the book with my stuff, being careful not to hurt the pages. It was Pacey’s book. Or the house’s, anyway. I wasn’t sure how it had even gotten here. I would read it, though. Then, I would return it.
And do my best not to think about Miles the entire time.
I stuffed everything into my bag and headed back to my house. The neighbors were still banging on the windows, the installation taking forever. Our house was empty when I walked in. I quickly changed into tights and a dress that went to my knees and slid my feet into flats. It was a cute outfit, nothing sexy because I wasn’t going for seductive. We were going to a small restaurant that was similar to the diner we had been to before. Nothing fancy, just a night out. With a nice guy.
One who did absolutely nothing for me. But I wasn’t going to think about that.
I redid my makeup and told myself that this was for the best. I was trying to find time to relax, even though I couldn’t. I had to work the next day, and I had classes that would exhaust me, but I would still pretend that me taking time for myself like this was worth it.
Only I wasn’t sure that Xander was.
By the time I made it to the restaurant, Xander was already there, a Diet Coke and water at my place. He had ordered for me. While I appreciated it, it was a little weird. I didn’t always want Diet Coke, but I wouldn’t say anything. Xander was nice.
“Nessa,” he said as he stood and kissed my cheek. I smiled, holding back a cringe. I hadn’t enjoyed the kiss we’d shared before, and now that I thought about it, I hadn’t exactly enjoyed any of the time we’d been together, either. It had been a moment in time and could have been with anyone. I really needed to try harder.
“Hi.” I sat, and Xander smiled at me. I knew this would be the last date I would go on with him.
He just wasn’t for me. And, frankly, I had enough on my plate. I tried. I wasn’t even thinking about Pacey anymore. I was over him and had figured I’d set him on a pedestal in my mind when I hadn’t needed to.
Now, I needed to get over this thing with Miles. Once I did, I would be fine. I had way more important things to worry about than who I was going to date in my final year of school.
I pushed all worries from my mind and did my best to enjoy my date, even as I told myself I wouldn’t do this again.
Xander was likable, but he wasn’t for me.
I was starting to think nobody was. And maybe that was for the best.
Chapter 6
Miles
“We can do this. It’s just garlic, right?” Natalie asked, and I laughed.
“You say that, and yet I thought garlic was that powdery stuff you sprinkle on things.”
“We shouldn’t say that around Dillon. He would never forgive us.”
I laughed and shook my head as Natalie did her best to peel the skin from the clove. We had YouTube up and cookbooks surrounding us as we tried our best to cook.