I won’t. I can already guarantee it.
“You’re being ridiculous,” he mutters. “They probably won’t talk to me.”
“Then that’s their loss.”
“More like your loss.” I hear the creak of his desk chair. I can envision him leaned back, staring out the window at the Yosemite Valley spread out before him. He’s got the best view in the house, but he deserves it, considering he’s the one who runs that hotel. “You need to talk to them. Listen to what they have to say.”
“I’ll consider it.”
“It’s Friday. Take the weekend. Think about it good and hard, son.”
He ends the call before I have a chance to say anything else.
I toss my phone on my desk and plop down on my bed, resting my hands over my face. Everyone’s pulling me into different directions, demanding this or that. Wanting me to be something I’m afraid I’m not. I’m tired of it.
I’d rather focus on football.
There’s a game tomorrow, and I’m nervous. I didn’t get much field time last season. When you’re a freshman, and so many of us are fighting for the same position, it’s normal. Plus, last year I didn’t take football too seriously and I paid the price by getting benched.
Some of those guys who started with me gave up, and they’re no longer on the team. Some of them were released. Kicked off. One of them got arrested last spring for drugs and made the entire team look bad. It was a PR nightmare. The seniors graduated in May. Ash Davis got drafted. All eyes have been focused on our team for months. Since the bowl win in January.
This game is a big deal. Feels like all of Fresno shows up for our games, wearing their red T-shirts, tailgating in the parking lot before the game. It’s a party, and everyone is invited.
If I get a chance on the field, I can’t fuck up. None of us can. We want the win.
So bad, I can taste it.
Speaking of parties, I think of the one Hayden and Gracie are hosting tonight at Tony and Caleb’s. Ellie will be there. I’d bet money on it. But no one else would bet on it because they’d know I’d win.
She’s that reliable.
I want to see her, but I also know she’s still pissed at me. I can’t blame her. We kiss—and it was a fucking good one, I cannot lie—and then I hit her with the friend zone shit. She had full on heart eyes when the kiss ended and by the end of our conversation, the hearts were replaced by little orange blazes of fire.
They should make an emoji that looks like that. I bet it’d get used a lot.
I drop my hands from my face at the same time I hear a knock on my door. It swings open before I can say a word, Eli standing there in just his boxer shorts and nothing else.
“You’re going to the party tonight, right?”
I nod, not saying a word.
“Want to ride over together?”
“Yeah. You driving?”
“Fuck yeah. That’ll ensure I won’t drink too much. I need to be on top of it for the game tomorrow.” He sounds nervous. He’s starting tomorrow, and that would leave me a quaking mess.
“Perfect. This means I can get wasted while you’re my sober driver,” I tell him.
“Aren’t you starting tomorrow too?” He frowns.
“Nope. I’m not as fancy as you.”
Eli makes a noise. “Bro. Give me a fucking break. You’re on the verge of breaking out and becoming the next big thing.”
“Right.” I flick my chin at him. “Why the fuck are you naked?”
“I’m not.” He glances down at his boxers. “I just wanted to make sure you were here.”
“My car is in the parking lot,” I tell him, sounding like an asshole.
He frowns at me. “I know. I just—what the fuck ever man. Be ready to go in an hour.”
Eli slams the door before I can respond.
I was a dick just now. I’ll apologize to him later.
Sitting up, I pull open my bedside table drawer and rummage around inside until I find what I want.
A little baggy of weed. Another bag of a variety of pills. Got those while on tour and have been saving them for a special day.
Looks like tonight is gonna be pretty damn special.
Eight
Ellie
“You look like a goddess,” Gracie breathes as she turns me toward the mirror.
I blink at my reflection, trying to take it all in, but it’s difficult. I look…like me. But different.
Older.
After class, I ended up at one of those walk-in haircut places and took a risk by asking for a trim. And curtain bangs.
“Oh honey, with your big brown eyes, you can totally pull that look off,” the hairstylist reassured me as she sat me down in the chair.
She took off four inches and gave me curtain bangs, just as I requested, and the perfect length too. I don’t hate them. Not at all. When I showed up at Gracie and Hayden’s apartment, they squealed when they saw me, pulling me inside with grabby hands and telling me how fantastic I looked.
It did my battered ego some good.
Now here I am in their bathroom after Hayden curled my hair into gentle waves and Gracie applied makeup, mostly to my eyes.
“What do you think?” Gracie asks, bringing me back to reality.
“I look…”
“Older,” Hayden says as she worms her way into the tiny bathroom. We’re standing shoulder to shoulder. Well, Gracie is standing above us, because she’s pretty damn tall, while Hayden is average height and I’m a freaking shrimp. “Your eyes, El. So pretty.”
I turn to the left, then the right, checking myself out. “Gracie did a fabulous job.”
“I only emphasized what was already there,” Gracie says. “This is all you, babe.”
My heart warms. Not having Ava around has left me feeling lonely, but I don’t know why. I have good friends. Ava is my very best friend and no one can replace her, but I’ll be all right.
“Let’s pick out clothes for her now,” Hayden says to Gracie, like I’m not even there.
“I want to stick with my shorts.” I point at them. I bought them on clearance last week at one of my favorite stores and they make my butt look good.
“They meet my approval,” Hayden says as she thoroughly checks me out. As in, she’s staring at my chest, and then my butt. “But you need something different up top.” She plucks at the shoulder of my pale blue T-shirt. “Too bland. We’re going to spice it up tonight.”
Worry makes my stomach clench, but I fight the feeling. I want to dress to impress. Not only for Jackson, but for Carson too.
Yes, both my boys, as Gracie and Hayden call them, will be there tonight. Hopefully. I invited Carson after our sociology class was over, and told him to bring a couple of friends with him. He seemed pleased by my invite, his eyes sparkling behind the glasses, reminding me that he is really cute. I shouldn’t dismiss him so easily.
And of course, I assume Jackson will be there. We share the same friend group. Eli is definitely coming. I figure he’ll bring Jackson with him.
He’s bound to be there. He’s never one to miss a party.
The girls drag me into Hayden’s bedroom and she starts thumbing through her closet. She has a lot of clothes, that’s for sure. Way more than I do. But she’s rich. Her dad is loaded. I’m used to this sort of thing. When Ava Callahan is your best friend, you’re surrounded by money, thanks to her very rich and successful father.