“No, not really. I like them both. Just be careful.”
I frowned at Miles. “Do you have a prior claim I’m not aware of?” I asked, honestly interested.
“No claim,” Miles said again. “I promise. Just don’t hurt them, okay?”
I frowned, blinking. “I need to get Nessa so I don’t leave her out in the cold, but we’re going to talk more about this. I’m not going to hurt them. I’m their friend.”
“Do they know that?” he asked and then walked back into the library, closing the door softly behind him.
The doorbell rang again. My phone buzzed, and I cursed, making my way to the front door. Miles and I needed to talk. I wasn’t the asshole he thought I was, and I wanted to make sure he understood that. Because I sure as hell didn’t want to hurt my friends. I had to make sure they understood that.
I opened the door quickly, and Nessa pushed her way in, her teeth chattering. “Leave me hanging next time, why don’t you?” she chided, and I shook my head. “I am so sorry, darling. Miles waylaid me, but I’m here now.”
“Well, thank you. It is cold out there. Colder than a witch’s tit.”
I started. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you utter that phrase.”
She winced, her already reddened cheeks turning redder. “It’s something my dad used to say, and I wanted to try it out. I don’t think it’s me.”
“Not really. Especially since I don’t think you’ve ever said the word tit in front of me before.”
She flushed more and ducked her head. “Oh, well, I guess I didn’t think about that. Anyway...” she said, muttering to herself.
I shook my head and took her coat. “Do you want to study in the living room, my room, or at my desk? Dillon is at class. I think he’s bringing Elise home later.”
“I guess down here’s fine. That way other people can study with us if they want. I guess. Is Mackenzie joining us?” she asked quickly, and I frowned, leading her towards the living room.
“Not that I know of. Though we are going to try a study session since we’re in two classes together and working towards a similar thesis.”
She nodded as she set her books down, rocking from foot to foot. Why was she so nervous? “Oh, so you guys have a lot in common?”
“I guess so. I like her. I hate what that asshole did to her.”
Nessa scowled. “That asshole never deserved her. She deserves the world. She’s so sweet and amazing, though I guess you already know that, don’t you?”
“What aren’t you saying?” I asked, honestly curious.
She shrugged as she sat down and took her books out of her bag. “She mentioned that she went out to dinner with you but didn’t say how it went. I was asleep when you guys got home.”
I sighed, wondering what I was missing. “I took Mackenzie out to dinner because she said she wanted to get out into the world and not have everybody think of her as the poor girl who Sanders cheated on. But she and I were and are just friends.”
At least that’s what I told myself. Mackenzie wasn’t ready for anything, and God knew I didn’t have time for it. It didn’t matter that I kept thinking about her, or that she made me smile and laugh. And we did have things in common. Mackenzie wasn’t for me, though. And I sure as hell wasn’t for her.
And nothing would change that.
“Oh,” Nessa smiled. “Shit. I didn’t even think about that. We met Mackenzie first before realizing she was with Sanders. I guess it turned into a whole thing. I don’t see her and think of what Sanders did. I see a girl I like and admire.”
“So do I,” I said. “As my friend,” I added.
Nessa smiled again. “I’m glad she has friends like you.”
“Like you’re my friend?”
Nessa smiled even brighter. “Exactly. We can all use someone. You know?”
“I know. Now that we have that out of the way, what are we studying tonight? Because I have proofs to work on. I may jump from something high if I have to work on them for too long.”
She snorted. “I’m glad I don’t have to work on what you do.”
“You are the English major,” I said softly. “While I like reading, I don’t see myself ever writing a book.”
“Hey, someone needs to write those math textbooks.”
“And I could get the royalties,” I said. “However, don’t get Dillon started on the textbook racket. He never shuts up about it.”
“You say that, but at least you all have feasible plans. I’m going to end up working at a Pizza Hut,” she grumbled.
“Haven’t Pizza Huts closed?” I asked, only marginally joking.
Nessa dramatically threw her head back and sighed. “I knew it. This is the end. I have no hope.”
I shook my head, laughing. “If that’s what you say. But I’ve heard you mention that you want to change your major. Is that the truth?”
She shrugged and looked down at her hands. “I don’t know. Maybe I could have a future doing something that’s in STEM, or business like Dillon. Something tangible.”
I reached out and gripped her hand, squeezing it. She froze and looked up at me. “Without the arts, we would be nothing. Without books, without film, without something for us to relax with and enjoy and embrace, there is no reason. When we are sick or unable to move around or just want to relax, what do we do? We pick up a book. We put on our favorite show. That’s art. And we need artists to create. If you want to go down your track of being an author, do so. And thrive. If you want to continue on your path to becoming an English professor, do it. You love that arena. You would be an amazing teacher. You could teach others to love it beyond getting their first course out of the way. Do it.”
I leaned back into the couch, a little embarrassed to have gone on as I had. Nessa blinked at me, tears filling her eyes.
“Shit, don’t cry.”
“Don’t curse at me,” Nessa said, the tears freely falling now. She reached into her bag for tissues and wiped at her face. “That’s the most beautiful, heartwarming, and inspiring thing anyone’s ever said to me. And I think I hate you and love you all at the same time.” She blinked suddenly, closing her mouth at her last words. I smiled, taking them at face value. We were friends. I loved her, too.
“Are you guys going to continue crying in here, or are we allowed to come in and actually study?” Tanner drawled as he came in and threw himself into the armchair. “I have a paper I have to write, and I’m contemplating paying someone to do it.”
I looked over at my roommate, grateful for the reprieve. “I never once figured you as the type to pay someone.”
“If I have to, I will,” Tanner muttered, then looked between us and pulled out his laptop. “Don’t mind me. Continue your heart-to-heart. I’m going to study and pretend I enjoy school.”
Nessa settled back into the couch. “You like school. I’ve heard you mention it.”
Tanner narrowed his eyes at her before lowering his gaze and glaring at his books. At least he wasn’t glaring at us.
We went back to studying, none of us talking to each other as we did. We were each in different classes. Oddly enough, however, Mackenzie was the only one I had courses with this semester. We were all headed towards various majors, though my minor was the same as Mackenzie’s primary area of study.