“You look wonderful,” Natalie said from the doorway. I looked over at her and gave her a dubious smile.
“I look like I have no idea what I’m doing.”
I decided not to go with a dress, mostly because it was cooler outside. Though it didn’t help that as soon as Pacey had mentioned a dress, I had gotten this weird fluttery sensation in my stomach. Tonight wasn’t about falling or being with someone I cared about beyond friendship. It was about moving on. I didn’t know what else it could be and stay sane.
I had decided to go with my black jumpsuit, which could be casual or fancy depending on the shoes and jewelry and bag I wore with it. I was also going with a cute wrap thing over it since I didn’t want my arms bare. All in all, I thought it looked okay, but I hoped it was enough. And not too much, all at the same time.
Why was I doing this again?
“So, you and Pacey...?” Natalie began again, and I shook my head.
“We’re just friends.”
“Okay, so this is just a friend date?”
I nodded. “Yes, we’re going out to dinner so I can get used to the whole leaving the house thing. It’s not, you know, anything serious.” I studied my reflection in the mirror and ignored the line between my brows that told me I wasn’t even sure I believed my words.
She nodded and smiled softly. “Pacey’s a good guy. And I like that he’s doing this so your next first date is something nice, rather than something you have to be super nervous for.”
I smiled, inwardly cringing at the idea of another first date even if it was imaginary and in the future. “Exactly. However, the concept seems weird and out there. That’s why I didn’t tell the other girls. It’s not like I’m keeping it a secret, though. If they see me out and about, I’ll talk to them about it. But we don’t talk about everybody we go on dates with. Not that I’ve ever been on a date with anybody. It’s only ever been Sanders. Though because I don’t want it to only ever be Sanders, this is it. My rebound. One I can still be friends with after, no matter what happens.”
Natalie gave me a weird look but nodded. “Sounds like a plan. But you’re going to have to tell Nessa and Elise. You’re all friends. Including Pacey. They’re going to figure it out. “
I pressed my lips together, and nerves wrapped around my body like a vise. “Yes, but I don’t want it to be a big deal.”
“It might be a big deal,” she whispered.
I shook my head. “It won’t. This is just something light and easy to start the semester off right.”
I knew I was lying to myself at this point, but that would have to be acceptable. I could continue doing so if needed.
“Is he meeting you there?”
“No, he’s picking me up here.”
Natalie’s brows rose. “I guess there won’t be any hiding.”
I cringed. “That’s not what I was doing. I just didn’t know how to bring it up. I’m not hiding.”
“Okay. I believe you. I really do.”
“Then why do I feel like I keep doing things wrong?”
“Because none of this was part of your master plan,” she said softly.
“And now why do I feel like a dork for even having a master plan?”
“You’re not a dork. You’re allowed to have goals. I love you,” she whispered, and I shook my head.
“I love you, too, even though I feel like a complete dork.”
The doorbell rang, and my eyes widened.
“I’ll go open the door for him. Nessa is out on a date, although I don’t think it’s going to work out with the guy.”
I frowned. “Is it George?”
“No, I think it’s Jeff. I don’t know. But this is their second date. I really don’t know. She doesn’t seem into it. Elise is with Dillon, so that’s nice.”
“Yes, they’re really into it, unlike Nessa.”
My stomach clenched as Natalie left to let Pacey in. I picked up my bag, rechecked my makeup, and then grabbed my large coat to go over my wrap and jumpsuit. This would have to do. Even though I had a feeling that I might throw up or something later. This was way too stressful.
I walked into the living room and saw Pacey standing there, talking to Natalie. He wore a peacoat over gray slacks and a gray shirt, and had brushed his hair back. Still, that one blond piece kept falling over his forehead. I always wanted to reach out and push it back, but that wasn’t my place. We were just friends. It wouldn’t be my place tonight, either. Unless it was? What exactly did a rebound entail? What did he think would happen tonight? What did I expect?
I put my hand over my stomach and let out a breath.
I didn’t expect anything. This was as free and easy as I could be without a plan.
And I was drowning.
Natalie cleared her throat as I walked into the room. Pacey pulled his gaze from mine, and it was only then that I realized he had been staring at me just like I had been staring at him.
This isn’t awkward at all.
“Well, I’m going back to my room. Alone. Since I’m the only one without a date. However, I’m used to this. And I’m going to stop talking. Bye.” Natalie gave a little wave and practically ran towards her room. The door closed behind her, and I stood a few feet away from Pacey, wondering if I was making a mistake. I was probably making a huge mistake.
Pacey cleared his throat. “You look wonderful,” he said.
I bit my lip. “Maybe. I don’t know.” That wasn’t really what I was supposed to say. “You look wonderful, too. Or nice. I should really have notecards or something.”
Pacey’s lips twitched, and he held out his hand. “Are you ready?”
“Maybe?” I asked, then slid my hand into his.
“I guess I’m going to have to take that as an affirmative.” He squeezed my hand and led me outside. I quickly locked the door behind me to keep Natalie safe and then made my way down the front steps towards Pacey’s car.
“How did you secure a spot right in front of the house?”
Pacey shrugged. “Magic, I imagine.”
“Huh, I can never do that. Luckily, we have spaces behind the house, but it’s a tight fit with four cars.”
“Dillon occasionally parks on the street near our home,” Pacey said but frowned. I knew he remembered the last time Dillon had parked on the street, but we both brushed over that topic. We didn’t need to talk about things that hurt. Not tonight. At least, I hoped so.
“Well, you won the lottery on parking spots, so we’ll call it that.”
He opened the door for me, and I slid inside his black car and inhaled the scent of leather. He got it on the other side, and I raised a brow. “I didn’t know you had such a fancy car.”
“I bet you don’t know a lot of things about me, Mackenzie. But I guess that’s what tonight’s for.”
I swallowed hard, nerves and something else twisting inside me. “I guess so.”
He studied my face, smiled, and then pulled out of the parking spot. We could have walked the few blocks to the restaurant, but it was cold, and I wore heels. I was glad he had driven. It gave me a moment to think where we talked about school and classes and nothing substantial.