Was this what dating was? Talking about common interests and random things that might not matter in the end? What did Sanders and I ever talk about? Our futures and what was going on, but clearly not all of it. I hadn’t talked about my internship with him. We talked about what would happen once we left school, but nothing else. Maybe I was just thinking too hard about it.
Soon, I found myself sitting across from Pacey in the restaurant, candlelight flickering between us and music playing overhead. The waitress had poured us both water as neither of us had ordered soda or juice. Not being twenty-one yet sort of ruined things. But I had a birthday coming up, and Pacey should have, too, since he was in the same year as I was.
“What were you thinking about that made you frown?” Pacey asked as I looked up at him.
“What?”
“You were frowning. I was giving you a lovely anecdote about chicken parm, and Tanner’s amazing skills in the kitchen and my lack, and you weren’t even listening.”
“Chicken parm?” I asked.
Pacey sighed and tapped the menu absently. “Where is your head right now? Because it’s not here.”
I blushed and ducked my head. “Sorry. I was just thinking about what you’re supposed to do on a date. I’ve only dated one person. I’m not really good at this.” I blushed. “Not that this is a date. Or that it isn’t. I really don’t know. We probably should have made more sense of it. I’m really sorry, and I’m talking really fast. I should stop saying ‘really’ because it makes me sound like I’m fourteen.”
Pacey shook his head and smiled at the waitress as she came by. She only had eyes for him, and I didn’t blame her. He was magnetic, beautiful, and everybody around him always gravitated towards him.
I always had. He had been a friend. He was still a friend. Whatever tonight was wouldn’t go anywhere. I just had to keep reminding myself of that.
“Are you ready to order, Mackenzie?” Pacey asked. I looked up in time to see him staring at me. Still, the waitress only had eyes for him.
I cleared my throat. “The soup and salad.”
He shook his head. “You can have a real dinner.”
“I like their soup. And their salad’s refreshing. I’ve had the chicken here before, but I want the soup tonight.”
Pacey’s eyes brightened, and he nodded. “I’ll have the chicken. But I might have to steal a sip of that soup.”
“Oh, I can give you some soup if you’d like. Just a small taste,” the waitress said, and I barely resisted the urge to roll my eyes.
Pacey cleared his throat. “I’m sure my date and I will be fine. Thank you, Cathy.”
She fluttered her hands, took the menus away, and left.
“Do women always do that around you?”
He shrugged. “Some do. But I’m sure they do the same with you.”
I shook my head. “I think the world always knew I was with Sanders. I’ve been off-limits.”
“No man ever flirted with you?”
I frowned. “Maybe? I’m not good at figuring it out.”
“Let me just lay it out here. Tonight, whatever I say to you, I’m flirting with you.”
I blushed and took a sip of my water. “Oh.”
“Yes, oh. Now, should we discuss our physics class? Or maybe our math class?”
“I’m only in one physics class this semester. And you’re in it.”
Pacey nodded. “I was sitting in the back while you were up front. I got in late because I met with my advisor. Sadly, I couldn’t get the seat I wanted. Having the class only on Fridays is a bit different for me.”
I nodded. “Oh, I’m glad you’re in it. I don’t know a lot of people there. I kept having to put off the class because it interfered with my labs. Now, I feel like I’m the only junior in there.”
“There are at least two of us.”
“Why didn’t you take it before? It’s part of your major.”
“I took the second and third classes that come in a row after it. But thanks to a scheduling snafu, I couldn’t get in the first year. So, I’m taking it now, even though I already have the material after it. But I can’t test out.”
“That’s horrible,” I said.
“It’ll hopefully be an A for me, but I’ll sit next to you if you’d like. We can study together.”
“Even if this rebound misses?” I teased nervously.
He reached out and grabbed my hand. “No matter what happens, we’re friends, Mackenzie. Promise me.”
My heart twisted just a little, a slow tangle of nerves that didn’t tell me exactly what they meant. “I was going to ask you to pledge that...”
He squeezed my hand again. “Good. Now, promise me.”
“I promise. No matter what.”
“Good,” he repeated. “Now, as for our math class, I think I’m in two of them with you. Am I correct?”
I nodded. “Yes, though a gaggle of girls surrounded you, so I didn’t sit next to you.”
Pacey rolled his eyes. “We’ll sit together next time. You’re going to have so much Pacey in your life, you’ll get annoyed and sick of me.”
“I don’t think I could get sick of you, Pacey. You’re a nice guy.”
He winced. “That’s the worst thing you can say to a man on a date. Nice?”
“I need nice in my life, Pacey. Especially a nice friend.”
“I see I’ve been put in my place,” he said and shook his head. “Anyway, what do you think of Dr. Michaels?”
I sighed. “I hate him.” I paused, my eyes going wide. “I can’t believe I just said that.”
“He’s an asshole. He’s a misogynistic asshole who only likes people like him. But he’s our professor.”
“He is,” I said sadly. “And I need him to be my advisor for the last two semesters here. I’m already on track for his internship. The papers just need to be signed.”
His eyes widened, and he beamed. “That’s a hard internship to get into. Congratulations.”
I smiled softly. “I’ve worked my ass off. I’m just grateful that it worked out.”
“Me, too. I’m working for another professor. Dr. Jackson.”
My eyes went wide. “Oh, I love her. I had her down as my backup, even though you can’t call her a backup because she’s brilliant. But the thesis I want to do is more geared towards Dr. Michaels’ specialties. And so, here we are.”
“It makes sense,” Pacey said. “We’re going to be busy the next year and a half or so.”
“And then grad school after. And then careers, and futures, and whatever personal lives we can forge around it. It’s going to be a lot.”
“I take it you have your plans set out?”
I blushed. “Yes, at least professionally. My personal life plan is sort of out the window now.”
“And yet, here you are, flying and soaring in new directions.”
“And hopefully not drowning,” I muttered as our dinners arrived. I ignored the way our waitress flirted with Pacey again.
I didn’t know why it annoyed me so much. Pacey wasn’t my boyfriend, but it bothered me nonetheless. “She knows I’m on a date with you. You’ve called me your date.”