Prologue
If you don’t let the past die, then it won’t let you live.
~ Unknown
Shiloh
Some time ago . . .
I could kill him for what he did, and I just might whenever I can find his hotheaded ass. First, I have to talk to Ruby. I have to give her some background info, so she doesn’t think negatively about Zorro. I gave her some time to decompress and ended up seeing her outside not too long ago, so I head straight around the corner and she’s breathing heavily outside the bakery.
Her arms are crossed and she’s breathing heavily. I don’t think she’s been here too many times since she hasn’t been around that long. Hell, she probably didn’t run off because she doesn’t know the area well. I know I didn’t bolt when I was pissed because I didn’t know where anything was. Then again, I was amazed by the beauty, the simplicity, the difference in everything I was used to.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” I speak, startling her.
Ruby jumps and turns to look at me. Her face says it all, though. She’s hurt. I close my eyes and silently curse Hammer’s name for even mentioning any of this to her. It’s not like Zorro and I have been anything in a long time. Our ‘relationship’ ended a while back. Hell, it might’ve been over a year or two since I ended everything with him, Grim, and Axel.
I was a clubwhore, and while it was fine for a time, I wanted something different. I longed for something more than just being the club’s property. In the back of my mind, I felt like if I didn’t have the protection of the club, then I couldn’t protect myself from my demons. It took me far too long to realize I didn’t need to be a clubwhore to have the protection of the club. Honestly, the day I stepped through the doors of the old clubhouse, Fist’s protection went over me.
“It’s . . . it is what it is, I suppose.” The way she speaks tells me she’s upset about it all, but she’s doing the best she can with what Hammer said. God, I still don’t understand why he had to be a raging dick. It’s not like Zorro and I even have a spec of romance between the two of us. Not after I shredded his heart apart.
“I wasn’t ever in love with him. I cared about him, but it wasn’t anything you’re thinking it might’ve been.” I blurt out, figuring the best way to talk about this is to dive straight into the deep end. “I was a clubwhore, Ruby. I wasn’t anything special. Not to him anyway, but you’re so much more different than I am.” I smile at the end, wait a few seconds and when she doesn’t respond, I keep speaking. “You’re the type of woman he’s always needed. Kind and warmhearted. Someone who will be patient with him, even if he’s driving you absolutely mad. And, to be fair, Zorro wasn’t ever the man who I was meant to be with. The man I think I’m supposed to be with, he’s the idiot who doesn’t know when to shut his mouth.”
Ruby instantly relaxes, uncrossing her arms. “You have something going with Hammer?”
I suck in a deep breath, trying to think how to answer her but know I can’t say anything but the truth. “I think we do, but I’m not sure. We’ve been spending a lot of time together lately. We just haven’t put a label on it, but we haven’t . . . really done anything if you catch my drift. It’s a bit confusing.” I don’t even know if I can be with him after the way he acted. It showed me a selfish, rude side of him I’ve never seen before, and honestly, it isn’t something I want to see ever again.
“So, you weren’t in something serious with him?” Ruby asks me in a low voice.
“No, not in the way you’re thinking. I used to sleep with him, Axel, and Grim, but that was my job in a sense. I was a clubwhore, but I’m not anymore, and the day I stepped away from that, I broke things off with the three of them. I don’t know why Hammer even brought it up, besides to be a total dick to Zorro, but in the process, he hurt you and I’m sorry for that. I’ll be roasting his ass later for it.”
Ruby lets out a small chuckle before she speaks. “You don’t have to. It wasn’t so bad. I was just super confused.”
“Don’t even play that game with me. I saw the mortified look on your face,” I tell her, cocking a brow.
Ruby tries to play it cool with me but ends up laughing. “Okay, you got me. I was trying to play it cool. I really . . . I really like him, so hearing that was like a knife to the gut.”
“I’m so sorry. Hammer shouldn’t have said anything. It was pointless and only hurt you in the process. I promise you don’t have anything to worry about with me.”
“I can see that now. As odd as it sounds, thanks for coming to me and telling me all this. It really shows me you’re a cool chick.”
I take a step closer to Ruby and place my hand on her forearm, giving it a squeeze. “It’s no problem at all. I’m just so glad you’re not one of those dramatic bitches. I thought I was gonna come over here and you end up crying and shit.”
Ruby throws her head back and laughs, “I might be dramatic, but only when I’m watching Stefan Salvatore sacrificing himself for the greater good, alright?” Now, that’s something I can understand.
“I’m team Damon myself.”
“Ugh, Stefan was it for me, but I need to get going. I told Axel I’d go spend some time with him today. He said he’d show me how to change my own oil, and since I’ll be here for a while, I figure it’s something I should learn sooner rather than later.” I give Ruby a nod and she goes on her way. Now I need to track down Hammer since I’ve gotten things smoothed over with her. I just hope he realizes the error of his ways and what kind of royal dick he was.
He hasn’t made it easy for me to find him, but that’s because the bastard’s been at a bar in town. I’m guessing he’s been here since he fucked up earlier today, considering I didn’t see him back at the club after what happened. I’d even asked the guys to let me know where he was, but no one wanted to fess up and say. I get it, though. Bro code and all.
Bama, being the sweetheart he is, hesitated a bit, but I told him I really needed to find him and make sure he was okay. I might’ve even plastered on the puppy dog eyes and pout, and the guy folded immediately. I figured Bama would, though. He’s hands down the sweetest guy we have here at the club now. So, Bama told me where Hammer probably was, considering they hang out quite a bit, and now I’m at the other end of the bar, drinking a Corona, staring at the man who’s taking down another shot of whiskey.
After I finish my Corona, I pay my tab and strut straight over to where he’s sitting. He’s staring into the amber liquid, kind of like he’s not even really here in the first place. “I’ve been watching you sit over here and drink for the last half an hour. What the hell happened earlier? Why did you act like that?” I thought about going in calmly, but I’m far too upset. Ruby didn’t deserve that. Hammer pulled the past out of a hat and I know the guys can be dicks to one another quite frequently. I just firmly believe Ruby didn’t deserve to get hurt in the process. It’s one thing to fuck with one of the guys and be rude, but entirely different when you hurt one of the ladies.