I cock a brow and let out a chuckle. “What, are you my guardian angel?”
He raises both of his brows and smiles smugly at me. “I damn well will be if any one of these guys sits back and watches you get plastered, then expects to fuck ya. That type of shit don’t happen on my watch. It’s not right,” Razor says with the utmost seriousness.
For some reason, I want to grab onto his hand when I say this, but I don’t. Instead, I look straight into those deep chocolate brown eyes and tell him exactly what I think. “The world needs more men like you, more guardian angels.”
“Well, I don’t think the world needs more of me, sweetheart. I appreciate you sayin’ so, though.” Razor looks back down at his beer and takes a swig, then places the bottle back on the bar. I don’t know much about him other than what I’ve heard whispers about through the club, but he seems like a really nice guy. It’s almost a shame he’ll be going down to Mexico.
Razor stands up from his seat and takes his beer with him, “Don’t get drunk and make a mistake, ‘cause I’m hittin’ the hay. Fuckin’ exhausted after today, but you have a good night now, Shiloh.” Razor shoots me the brightest smile I’ve ever seen from him since he’s been here and I’m caught grinning back.
“Thank you, and you too.”
Razor starts to walk away from me, but he stops mid-track and ends up coming back over to me. He leans his elbows onto the bar and gets a bit closer to me. “Now, I’m not normally the type who meddles in other people’s business, but I am gonna be that type of man today. I hear shit, especially from the ladies. They love to gossip, and everyone says you and Hammer got somethin’, but they also told me somethin’ is goin’ on between you two, some tension or shit. I don’t know the man well, but what I do know is he’s a stand-up guy. Sure, a little hot-headed, but I’m confident he digs you more than he admits. Now, I don’t know what he did, but give ‘em another shot. I think the guy deserves it.”
I don’t say a thing to Razor, but I listened to every word he says.
“Now, have a good night, and this time I’ll leave you alone.” He walks off and disappears up the stairwell to where the rooms are.
I’m left alone for a good couple of minutes before I finish off my drink and go to the fridge to grab another one. By the time I’m back with another drink in hand, Hammer’s sitting next to where I was. Instead of avoiding him, I walk right on up and sit back down in my seat.
I turn and suck in a deep breath, handing him my drink. “Mind opening this for me?” It’s a twist-off cap, and I sure as hell know how to do it, but it’s the perfect introduction for us to strike up a conversation.
He nods and takes my drink in his hand, wraps his palm around the top of the bottle and removes the cap like it was nothing, then hands the drink back over to me. I grab it and offer him a kind smile. “Thank you.”
Instead of smiling back at me, he mutters his reply quietly, “No problem.”
A few minutes of silence pass between us before I find the need to grab onto his hand and pull him into some conversation. “What’s going on?”
Hammer groans and puts his hand over his forehead, not saying a damn thing, and with every moment of silence, worry fills me. My mouth goes dry and my neck goes stiff. “You hear Razor and I caught some dealer out in town today, selling product?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Yeah, well, he was trying to sell to this eighteen-year-old girl, and I thought, wow, she looks so much like Jada. Like the same sort of facial structure, it was just weirding me out, but I didn’t think anything of it. Well, long story short, the girl dropped the fact I’m her father. And I mean, Shi, she looks just like my sister. I . . . I called Zane and let him know about the dealer, but I went out to dinner with the girl. Her name’s Oakleigh, and she told me her life story. The kicker here, she . . . she could be my kid. She told me her mom’s name and I . . . I did fuck her mom back in my senior year of high school. Like a lot, we were prom dates and everything. Her mom put her up for adoption. It was one of them open adoptions, but she was returned and put back into the system. She’ll be phasing out of the system soon and she was on a quest to find me, apparently. Did some research on me, found out where I grew up. I don’t think she was trying to find me the way she did, but . . . she did . . . and she’s staying with the Vixens at their house tonight. Bambi said she’d keep an eye out for her, and Madame said she’d watch her like a hawk and make sure she’s alright.”
I might be a bitch for saying this, but any woman would ask it. “Are you sure she’s yours?”
He shakes his head. “No, but I’m gonna take her to get a paternity test. If she’s mine, I’ll take care of her . . . and if not . . . fuck it. I still might. She’s a kid and she needs help but given the details she told me, no way she could’ve made that shit up. She knew too many details.”
I furrow my brow and ask the million-dollar question. “Why didn’t she go to her mom, or did she?”
With one glance, I can tell the girl went to her mother, and obviously, it wasn’t a good visit. “Her mother hasn’t spoken to her since she was thirteen when she begged her to take her. She’d been in contact with her through the open adoption, but when CPS got involved again, it’s like she didn’t want to communicate anymore.”
“What a twat,” I grumble.
“You’re telling me,” Hammer takes a swig of his drink, or so I think. He downs it like it’s water, not that I can blame him right now.
“I’m so sorry.”
“If she is my kid, her mom never told me shit, Shi. It’s not okay. It’s not . . . and I could’ve made some sorta difference. Dads get shit on all the time for not bein’ involved in their kids’ lives, and here I could’ve had a kid without even knowing.” Hammer shakes his head, obviously upset by this entire thing.
I take his hand and squeeze it, wanting him to know I’m here for him. If she’s his kid, if she isn’t. Regardless, emotionally he’s gonna be going through it.
“I’m sorry for all the shit goin’ on between us, for what I did with Ruby and Zorro. Shit was stupid and I was pissed, and now here we are, and . . . fuck,” Hammer mutters out, shaking his head.
“What?” I urge him to keep speaking.
“I don’t wanna fuck this up, what we have here, what this is,” he holds our hands up, looking down to our clasped hands and then into my eyes. “As much as we try to fight it, we do have somethin’, Shi.”
He’s right. We do have something. Little does he know just how fucked in the head I am from my past. He knows parts of me, but Hammer doesn’t know everything, and I’m terrified to pull down the curtain.
I’m afraid he’ll run out of my life like everyone else has.
Chapter Seven
Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong
~ Leo Buscaglia
Hammer
“How the fuck does something like this happen?!” Zane roars in the room where we hold church, nostrils flaring, furious at the stupidity of Bama. He didn’t tie the restraints on Donnie tight enough and the fucker got loose. Hell, he cut Gears lose too, but much to our surprise, Gears didn’t go anywhere. He said he didn’t leave because the second he leaves this clubhouse, he’s dead now, and he knows it, how Boomer’s men are going to be hunting him like a rare beast.