Hammer pulls his eyes up from the glass and looks right at me. One look and I can tell he doesn’t give a damn about who he’s hurt today. Part of me thinks there’s something else lying underneath those eyes, something else bothering him and he’s lashing out for some reason.
“He pissed me off, and he shouldn’t be hiding shit from her anyway.” Hammer picks up his glass and takes another swig of the whiskey.
“It wasn’t your place to tell her. Zorro should’ve been the one doing that, and you look like a giant asshole. Do you have any idea what you did? You hurt Ruby, Hammer. You hurt her and she has nothing to do with the pissing contest between the two of you.” God, he’s totally ignorant to what his actions caused.
Hammer rolls his eyes and sets the glass back down on the bar. “Look, I don’t know why you’re coming up to me and acting like this anyway.”
I grab what’s left of his whiskey and pour it straight over his head. “You’re not the man I thought you were, and I’m damn sure of it.”
I start to head for the door and the crowd of patrons go, “Oooooo.”
My hand’s on the door pulling it open and Hammer grabs onto my other hand, trying to turn me around. I look right at him with anger lacing through my eyes, ready to set his fucking world on fire. My entire life, men have hurt me more than helped me. “What is that supposed to mean? I thought we were workin’ toward somethin’ here.”
I shake my head. “We were, but you’re sorely mistaken if you think we’re going to have anything now. This shit . . . it’s shown me a part of you I don’t want to ever see again. I thought you were better than that, Hammer, but obviously, I was wrong.” I keep my emotions in check as much as I can, yank my hand from his arm and walk out of the bar. I walk until the end of the block before the tears start pouring out of my eyes in an effortless flow. I’m fucked and I know it.
I may have acted like I don’t give a damn like I’m this strong woman who can handle this, but the reality is that I’m not.
I’m a woman who was starting to fall in love with him and walking away was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
Chapter One
To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already 3-parts dead
~ Bertrand Russell
Hammer
Present Day . . .
Ma said the sink was leaking, so I got under the island in the kitchen and took a look at it. She’s right. It sure was leaking, so I tightened the elbow to the drainpipe. I’m not a plumber, but I already did contact one and they’ll be here tomorrow to take a look. At least this will have it fixed until they can come out and take a look at it.
My phone rings on top of the island, so I grab it and press it to my ear. “What’s up?”
“I convinced mom to come home for a couple hours and take a shower, get some time away from the hospital and all that. You’re still there working on the sink, right?” Jada, my little sister, says on the other end of the line.
God, she hasn’t left the hospital in almost a week now. I didn’t think she was ever going to come back to the house at this point. “Yeah, I called a plumber. He’ll be here tomorrow, but I’ve got the thing tightened up so it won’t leak.”
“Okay, thank you. I know I’ve inconvenienced you enough, but can you stay and hang out with Mom for a bit? Someone needs to stay here and the last thing I want to do is leave dad by himself.”
“Sure, it’s no problem. I’ll just call Zane and check in with him.”
“Thank you so much. I owe you one,” Jada says to me, but she doesn’t owe me shit. We’re doing what we need to to get through everything right now. No one prepares you for a parent being sick, especially not like this.
“Don’t say that shit to me. You know I’m here for whatever they need. Now, go back and tend to dad. I’ll handle mom when she gets here,” I tell my sister and we quickly say our goodbyes, but as soon as we hang up, I’m already dialing Zane’s number and he answers on the third ring.
“Hey, brother. How are you?” Zane immediately questions me, though he sounds a bit concerned based on his tone.
“I’m alright, but I won’t be back to the club for a while. Jada talked mom into coming home and asked me to stay with her so she’s not alone. She’s been so focused on dad and is barely taking care of herself.
“Shit, do what you need to do. Things are settled here, so don’t worry about a thing. How’s your dad doing?”
I inhale deeply through my nose, “The triple bypass has been hard on him. He keeps getting secondary infections. One after another. It makes me wonder . . . fuck, just makes me wonder if he’s going to make it through this man.”
“Don’t talk like that. You don’t know what’s going to happen. You’re not the big dude upstairs, so breathe. Take it one day at a time.” I’ve known Zane for a long time now and he’s never been the type for motivational moments. He’s the blunt type, the guy who’s gonna shoot it to you straight. But for right now, I’m glad he isn’t, ‘cause I don’t know how the fuck I’m gonna keep my ma together if dad takes another turn for the worse.
“Thanks, brother. I’ll text you and let you know what’s going on soon, but I’m gonna get some stuff done around the house for ma. I saw one of her light bulbs needs changing, so it’s the least I can do.”
Zane and I say our goodbyes and I head into the bathroom and change the light that I saw was out earlier when I arrived. After I fix the light, I check her clocks and make sure none of them need to have their batteries changed. My mother, god love her, is super old-fashioned. She has one of those old lady telephones that flip and doesn’t like any of this new fancy technology around. I end up finding a clock that needs its batteries changed, so I replace those and as soon as I’m hanging it back up, she comes through the door.
“My goodness, what’re you doing here?” My ma comes rushing over to me, narrowing her eyes like she didn’t expect me to be here. She should know better, though. Jada is the resident worry wart of the family.
“Nothin’, Ma. Just fixing a few things around the house. I replaced a lightbulb and some batteries in that one white clock down the hallway, and I tightened the pipe in your sink in the kitchen island. A plumber will be here tomorrow, but I’ll make sure I’m here or one of the prospects from the club.”
She puffs out her bottom lip. “Thank you, sweetheart. You’re surely a good one, always watchin’ out for your Ma.”
“Damn straight. I’m gonna keep goin’ around the property and house. I want to see if there’s anything else that needs my attention.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do when you leave,” her words come out of nowhere and my eyes go wide as the reality of what she’s just said hits me.
“I’m not leavin’ to go to Los Angeles for a bit, Ma. We still have time.”
“Not enough time. You’re not a mother. You don’t understand. It’s your worst fear when your child leaves. I thought the NFL was going to take you far away from me, but it’s the Reapers Rejects.” My mom glances down at the ground and starts to get a bit upset.