Home > Closer to Nowhere(6)

Closer to Nowhere(6)
Author: Ellen Hopkins

   “It happened,” I insist.

   Calvin Pace! huffs Hannah.

   You were not raised by grizzlies!

   “Like you’d know. Why do you think

   my favorite teams are from Chicago?”

   I don’t get it.

   The only “sports” Hannah gets

   are gymnastics and dance.

   But Mrs. Peabody understands.

   He’s talking about the Cubs

   and the Bears, Chicago’s baseball

   and football teams.

   If Hannah rolled her eyes

   any harder, they’d pop

   right out of their sockets.

   Sometimes she’s just so serious!

   Well, she might not be

   laughing, but other kids are.

   And so is Mrs. Peabody.

   Guess a few people

   think I’m funny.

 

 

Definition of Punch Line:


   The End of a Joke


   Cal’s stupid stories

   always have punch lines

   attached. Usually they land

   with a thud. In the really old

   movies my mom likes

   to watch, a trombone

   or whatever would go

   waaaagh-

   waaaagh-

   waaaagh-

   waaaagh.

   A few kids snicker

   in the way that says Cal

   should just jump off a cliff.

   But some of the others

   actually think he’s entertaining.

   Misty isn’t amused,

   but our other best friend,

   Brylee, is. I poke her.

   “Don’t laugh at him.”

   Why not? He’s funny.

   “He’s ridiculous.”

   When she scowls, her nose

   wrinkles. That’s mean.

   It was, kind of, I guess.

   But also true.

   Still, I zip my lips.

   I don’t want my friends

   to think I’m mean.

 

* * *

 

        —

   That silly story is on my mind

   for the rest of the day.

   It bugs me until dinnertime.

   Not even the promise of lasagna

   can make it go away.

   Cal doesn’t notice. Man, that

   smells good! Just like my mom’s.

   Mom nods. It’s an old family

   recipe. Our mother taught us

   how to make it, but it takes most

   of the day, so I don’t do it often.

   Why didn’t I know that?

   Now I’m even more annoyed.

   “Did ‘Ma Griz’ make termite

   lasagna?” I laugh at my own

   joke, and when Mom looks

   confused, I explain.

   That’s so inventive, Cal!

   You know, some people get

   paid to make up stories.

   He grins and reaches for

   the Parmesan. You think I could

   be an author someday?

   If you work hard, you can do

   anything you put your mind to.

   Where have I heard that

   before? Mom is a total

   cheerleader. Dad can be,

   too, but . . . That reminds me.

   I’ve got a big meet in the morning.

   In gymnastics there are levels

   requiring more and more advanced

   skills. Level one is easiest, level

   ten the hardest before “elite.”

   Right now, I’m level eight,

   and if I score well tomorrow,

   I could move to nine.

   I really want my dad to be there.

   I hate when he misses Friday

   night dinners because

   I can’t be sure he’ll be at

   my Saturday events.

   “Hey, Mom. Think Dad will

   make it back in time?”

   Her attention shifts to me.

   He’s sure going to try, honey.

   He’ll catch an early flight and come

   straight from the airport.

   If there are any delays, he’ll call.

   Dad’s out of town for work.

   He tries to get home every weekend,

   but sometimes his projects go longer.

   That used to mean Mom and I

   would do girl stuff, like manicures.

   Not anymore! Cal got into polish

   one time. He didn’t paint his nails.

   But he did decorate the bathroom mirror.

   With Red Cherry skulls and crossbones.

   Speaking of red, Cal drools

   lasagna sauce when he asks,

   Makes it in time for what?

   “My meet.”

   A giant sigh escapes him.

   Another one? Tomorrow?

 

 

Definition of Impatient:


   Hannah, When It Comes to Cal


   Cal knows when my meets are.

   And what days I go to practice.

   Almost always he has to tag along.

   Cal needs supervision.

   Be quiet! I say silently to myself.

   Too bad myself won’t listen.

   “Don’t be rude. Yes, another one,

   and this one is really important.”

   He squirms a little in his chair.

   I thought they all were important.

   I really don’t feel like explaining,

   so I’m glad when Mom jumps in.

   If Hannah does well tomorrow,

   she can move up a level.

   I’ve been working extra hard

   on super difficult routines.

   Not world-championship level.

   Not yet. But I want to qualify one day.

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