I rose, feeling crippled; kissed Mama’s forehead; and pressed my hands against my cheeks, hoping they would arrange me into some sort of order.
The temperature outside had dropped to a chill, and there was no sign of the moon. Snitch stood at the foot of the back steps, with his whip hanging around his neck like a snake hungry to strike. His left cheek was puffed up with tobacco and he smelled like whiskey.
“Where is the stable boy?”
“Missus sent him to see about Master Jacob,” I answered.
“I ain’t seen the mistress taking her walks. Where is she?”
“Under the weather, sir.”
“Gon’ need confirmation of that. Let me in.”
Aunt Hope and I blocked the path to the door.
“Missus Delphina is too weak to take the stairs,” I replied.
“Ain’t proper for a man ain’t her husband enter her bedchamber this late at night.”
Snitch’s dark eyes forced fear in every slave he came across. I was no different, and it took careful concentration for me not to fidget and show our lie.
“I’ll be back in the morning. Tell her I needs to see her.” He spit on the ground in front of us, then mounted his horse. Once he’d disappeared through the thicket, I exhaled.
“What are we going to do?”
“They gon’ know sooner or later. You get rid of his things?”
“Not yet, been with Mama.” Her name on my lips made me choke, and then my knees trembled.
Aunt Hope grabbed me up with her strong arms. I sniffed and forced my lungs to breathe in the air to keep from feeling light-headed. Aunt Hope pulled a handkerchief from her apron and wiped the fresh wetness from my eyes. “Burn her things, too, so infection don’t spread.”
I nodded and watched her walk to the kitchen house. If Snitch planned to see Missus first light, under the cover of the moonless night seemed the best time to burn Essex’s things. I could not bring myself to disrupt Mama—her stuff would wait—but I made my way over to the stables. Parrott stood on a stool brushing one of the horses, a corn pipe dangling from between his lips.
“Snitch looking for Essex, so be careful.”
“Just saw him. Came to burn up Essex’s things.”
I climbed up into the loft area where Essex slept and grabbed everything he’d left behind. An old work shirt, a worn-out straw hat, and a threadbare blanket. I gathered them along with the straw pallet he slept on and lugged them down the path that led deeper into the woods. It was not until I passed the cemetery that I realized I was headed to the black walnut tree. Instinctively I knew that to protect Essex, I needed to burn his belongings on the grounds of Mama’s tree.
The red ribbon I had tied flapped against the wind, welcoming me. I could feel Mama’s presence as I prayed for Essex’s safe passage to freedom. Then I placed everything in a pile and created fire with a flint and steel. Once the spark caught on the char cloth, I tossed it onto the pile and watched the flames lick through his things. Now that Mama had crossed over, I wondered if I would have fared better running with Essex. With them both gone, Master Jacob was all I had left. That thought settled in my belly like a heavy stone.
The fire had all but died when I saw movement down by the river. I expected it was a white-tailed deer. Mama always warned me that they tended to be more active at night. But then I heard a faint cry. Curiosity made me walk toward the sound, and when I reached the river’s edge, I spotted Missus Delphina wading out into the water past her knees. I heard another high-pitched cry, and then she plunged down to her chest in the water. I took off running.
“Missus,” I called, but she did not answer me. When she emerged from the water, I saw the infant boy. It laid limp and naked in her arms. Missus stepped out the water and then threw the lifeless body into my arms.
“Bury it.”
She turned for the big house while my tears ran like an open spigot. How could she be so cruel as to kill her own flesh and blood? She could have given him to a field woman to raise. No one in Lowtown would have asked questions, just accepted him as their own. His poor little body felt cold, so I untied my headscarf and covered him with it. Two beautiful souls lost on the same day. I carried the boy up to the storehouse, removed a shovel, and then went back to the spot where I had burned Essex’s clothes and started digging a grave for his son.
CHAPTER 8
Snitch
I woke up the next morning haunted by the infant boy’s face; then I remembered Mama’s body under the white sheet and hot tears stung my eyes. Soon as I got dressed, I found Lovie heading into the nursery and told her what Missus had done to the baby. Her bottom lip quivered, and she rocked on her heels, looking as if she might faint. Snitch, yelling from the side door, pulled her from her stupor.
“I will take care of him.” I handed her a towel for her face, then sprinted downstairs to the door.
“Needs to talk to the mistress now. Go tell her I am here.”
Missus Delphina had not emerged from her bedroom, nor had she beckoned me to bring her anything. While I stood there trying to figure out my next move, Snitch shoved me aside and entered the house.
“Mistress Delphina,” he called out. “I needs to speak with you!”
He moved through the service room and out into the entrance hall, trying to decide which way to go; then he grabbed my arm.
“Show me to her room. Now.”
Lovie appeared just as I was beginning to discolor. “Mr. Snitch, what can we do for you?”
He pushed past her, took the front steps three at a time to the second floor, and shouted for the missus. The upstairs bedrooms fanned in a U shape, and he started knocking on doors until he came upon hers.
“Yes,” she croaked. “What calls for so much racket?”
“It’s Snitch and I needs to talk to you. Are you all right in there?”
We followed him, and Lovie moved to speak through the door.
“Missus, are you proper?”
Snitch knocked again. “I needs a word now.”
“Come in.”
Lovie and I went after Snitch into Missus’s chambers. She had the covers pulled up to her chin and her hair could have used a comb.
“What is the meaning of this unplanned visit?” she barked.
Snitch removed his hat and explained that he had not seen Essex in a few days. “The yella girl said you sent him on an errand and I want confirmation.”
Missus sat up in her bed. “That was a few days ago.”
“I did not know you wrote the pass.”
“My husband pays you finely to make everything that happens with our property your business.”
“No sighting of him is why I am here, ma’am. Thinking he might of gon’ astray.”
Missus looked at Lovie and then me. “Ninny, where is Essex?”
“It is like you said, Missus, he rode out to check on Master Jacob at the doctor’s house. Perhaps Master asked Essex to stay with him until he felt well enough to travel home.”
She threw back her covers, then thought better of it and pulled them back over her. “You make it your immediate duty to alert the patroller,” she barked at Snitch. “He is my best nigger and I want him back here.”
Lovie showed Snitch out, and Missus fixed her eyes on me. “My mama died last night.”